Temporary? Insanity

I’ve been brooding a lot the last few days. Such an interesting term, isn’t it? In this instance it refers to the rather contemplative mood I’ve been in, but it can also refer to sitting on or hatching eggs. The number of ways in which I am similar to a chicken…how unsettling…

My mood is being dramatically influenced by the weather today. It’s been drizzling rain, and there are frequent rumblings of thunder which give the day an ominous feeling. I have to confess that there’s a little bit of the pagan in me; I’m a storm worshipper. I simply revel in them. I find beauty in the gathering shades of grey streaking the sky, and love the deliciously musky smell of the rain.

There’s a great deal I could chose to write about today. Neil is now a licensed and practicing Optometrist, working full time at the clinic in town. I’m slowly feeling my way into a friendship or two. Trying not to be too standoffish. Trying not to be too clingy and desperate. Rebecca is teething and I’m lucky if I get four hours each night. I’ve been feeling a little bit like a zombie, lurching through each day. I haven’t stopped blinking or started moaning yet, so I think I’m safe.

I had a great phone conversation with my Mom today. As usual she told me stories about family goings-on that made me laugh till my face hurt. I’ve often thought Mom could have had a great career as an entertainer. She delights me on a regular basis. I don’t know if I dare share one of her stories, as I’m not half the story-teller she is. But then, some things are too funny not to be shared.

My twin four year old cousins, Heath and Cort are visiting my parents. Cort, an insatiably curious little boy, found the bright orange vest my sister Jenny wears when working for the city (she deals with mosquitoes and other such menaces). He asked my mom what it was, and she said it was the vest Jenny wore when she was killing bugs. He quite liked the sound of that, as he’s currently fascinated with all things creepy and crawly.

Well, my brother Rob was outside moving some things around when he encountered a hornets nest. He was swarmed and stung multiple times. I just about cried as my Mom told me about that, imagining how painful that must have been. He came tearing into the house to escape them, in obvious distress, and some had followed him into the house. Cort, wanting to help, pulled out Jenny’s vest and waved it about shouting, “Somebody put this on! Put this on!” Hysterical, eh? Rob dashed upstairs to strip down, but was pursued by my well intentioned Grandmother, who was waving a bottle of lotion at him shouting, “You need this lotion! You need this lotion!” Rob shouted back that he just needed the darn hornet to stop stinging him. This wasn’t his exact choice of words of course, but you get the idea.

I laughed. I cried. It was a great story. As I’ve been reflecting today about various aspects of our new life up here in the wilderness, I’ve realized that I’m very jealous of siblings. I’m a wee bit old for that, I know, but I can’t help thinking how lucky they are to live so close to “home.” We’re building a home for ourselves here of course, but I miss my family. I could attempt to wax poetic about that for a couple paragraphs, but that’s the sum of it. I miss them.

There’s a strange smell in the air, but it isn’t the smell of the rain. Rebecca needs me, it would seem. And so I am reminded that I do have my family here with me. Like a snail (not like a chicken!), I can in some measure carry my “home” with me. In my melancholy over missing my extended family, I can find comfort in that.