Temporary? Insanity

I sat down to write this post and then caught sight of the yellowy-green digits on our counter-top microwave. 10:51. Since I woke up feeling exhausted this morning, it’s far past foolish for me to have stayed up this late.

But I’ve been pondering a great deal lately about why I’m fat. Not the actual mechanics of it, of course, I know enough physiology and biochemistry to know the hows and wheretofores (is that a word?). I’m thinking in a much more metaphysical sense, even a religious sense.

I’ve a working theory that I’m fat because when I was skinny I was an arrogant little twit who didn’t know anything about anything. I didn’t understand why people “chose” to be fat. I didn’t understand what was so hard about losing weight. And so I now believe that I’ve become fat in order to be humbled. It makes a great deal of sense if you don’t think about it too much.

I feel this intense desire to scream out into the cosmos. I’ve learned my lesson! I’m ready to be skinny again!

Granted, the half dozen cookies I ate today seem to belie that declaration, but nevertheless, I think there’s something to this theory.

There’s also some validity to the theory that I’m an idiot. It is now 10:58. Why haven’t I gone to bed? Yet another metaphysical question – to be answered another day.