I wasn’t sure what I was going to post about when I sat down at the computer, but after reading Lara’s article (click title) , I suddenly have a lot on my mind!
I love the comparison between obsessive house cleaning and anorexia. There’s so much truth to that. I can’t count the times Neil has warned me that someone “might stop by” and I’ve gone into a tidying frenzy. After five years of marriage he is still baffled by this phenomenon. To him, the house looks fine. To dear sweet neurotic me, it looks like an abandoned war zone.
That’s not a bad analogy either. After all, how many battles have been fought within these walls?
Being a stay-at-homer, and also being the weest bit socially inept, I spend a lot of time here. A lot. Only I know the location of every spot and smear. And only I know that I’ve had plenty of time to clean and scrub and organize – but have chosen not to do so. I’m not going to sugar coat it. That’s the truth. I’ve chosen to do other things, like play on the computer, read, cross-stitch and crochet, and other personal pursuits. I’ve also chosen to give a significant chunk of my time to the raising of two beautiful little girls, but you’d be surprised by how much spare time I have.
And so, when the all too alarming sound of the door bell echoes in my ears, I panic. While rationally I know that guests in our home have no idea what chores I’ve neglected, and that overall the place looks pretty decent, my guilt tells me otherwise. I can’t remember the last time I emptied the lint trap! Good heavens, there’s remnants from the last time we had them for dinner still embedded in the carpet under the table! Please, please, please, may they not have to go to the bathroom!
Neil has asked me from time to time can it not look as if we actually live here. Depending on my stress level I either snap back that of course it can’t, or stare at him helplessly. It’s unanswerable, really.
I like the idea of this being a sickness, because it means there might be a cure. And truthfully, I’ve improved over the years. I’ve come to realize that while having a perfect home might give me a form of happiness, enjoying the time I spend in it, entertaining guests or otherwise, is a far more worthwhile goal.
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6 Comments
I am exactly the same way. And I think Greg is a lot like Neil. I will close the door to my office to prevent people from seeing it when they visit, but when my shower was here – man, did I clean and clean (Mum was certain my uterus would fall out).
When Greg said “can’t it look like people live here?” to me once, I stared him down and replied, “I don’t mind if it looks like people live here. But right now it looks like pigs live here.”
He’s never made a comment about my cleaning binges again.
I totally relate. However, I think I am getting better. For some reason, when company is expected I do not go crazy with cleaning as I used to. I am able to not stress and be able to let things slide. I tell myself that it really is ok for the house to look like it is lived in. I’ve found a happy medium between lived-in but not model-home like. Put it this way….it makes my guests feel comfortable as to not think poorly about themselves and their own house cleaning abilities. I don’t know, maybe it’s 10 years of marriage and three kids that have cured me? : )
I am glad there is now a diagnosis for my disease :) !! Thankfully as the years wear on and as the kids get older, I am getting better.
I love it Kim. I think we need to find a happy medium. I’m getting better. At least you can see the floor in my house. I always tell people I’m a housekeeper in training! :) Someday we’ll get to have clean houses, but in the meantime, I’ll settle for loved and happy kids
If you ever want to go on a house-cleaning binge in Illinois, let me know. ;-)
LOLing at cleaning the lint trap! :-)
Remnants of their last visit still embeded in the carpet? That made me laugh!
As a confession, I had a woman from the power company coming over this morning so the kids and I raced around picking things up. I had to keep repeating in my head, “Do not apologize. No matter what happens, do not apologize.” Wouldn’t you know it but she never came.
Thanks for the link sweet!