No, I’m not posting about perfume. I’m finally getting around to a meme that An Ordinary Mom tagged me for. As I told her, picking only five obsessions is a tricky business. When Chris suggested I use Obsessive Compulsive Wit and Wisdom as a new blog title, I almost went for it. Then realized I’m too lazy to type out a title that long very often.
Anyway, in no particular order, here they are:
1) Lip gloss. I cannot stand to have “naked lips”. I carry it with me everywhere, and the odd times I forget I behave very oddly indeed. Constant lip puckering and sucking and biting, that sort of thing. It’s not a pretty sight, girls.
2) Weighing myself. I do this almost immediately upon waking up every morning. I get up. I pee. I strip. I weigh myself. I get back into my pajamas, and then go about my day. It’s a sickness, really.
3) Having comfy jeans. I’m in the process of losing weight, and this has caused some serious wardrobe problems. I don’t dare buy “skinny” clothes, because the weight is still melting off and it’s not time for that sizeable of an investment yet. But I have to have at least one pair of “hot jeans” in order to function. I recently shrunk out of my jeans and actually didn’t go out of the house for almost a whole week. Eventually, this subconscious problem intruded on my conscious thoughts. So I washed my jeans in hot water, dried them on the high setting in the dryer, and went to town. Two days later they were falling down again. Being a size 13 is really crummy, you know?
4) Getting mail. I’ll give my mailing address out to anyone and everyone. Want to stalk me? Go right ahead…as long as you mail me stuff. Seriously. Want to know how serious I am?
Kimberly VanderHorst, PO Box 2034, 100 Mile House, BC, V0K 2E0, Canada.
You’ve got to be pretty obsessed (and insane!), to give your mailing address out over the internet, don’t you? C’mon people, mail me stuff to make it worth the scolding I’ll get when my mom reads this!
5) Symmetry. This is a very obsessive compulsive part of my nature. Things must be centred. Cupboard doors and kitchen drawers must be closed tight and flush. No gaps or gaping allowed. If I place something on a table, I invariably place it in the centre. Everything that follows is placed equidistant from the centre. Cutlery must be lined up just so. Or I start to twitch. Seriously.
Whether you’re a regular commenter or not…please comment. Tell me you still love and adore me or Neil will come home one day and find all the pictures askew, shredded mail scattered everywhere, and me, curled up on the scale in a skin-tight pair of jeans and with severely chapped lips.
You wouldn’t wish that on him, would you?
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35 Comments
hi kimberly: this is my first time to your blog. i saw your comment on jennifer b./going barefoot and you made me laugh, so i opened up your blog. you totally cracked me up and made me laugh out loud by what you wrote. thanks for making me laugh tonight. it was a hoot.
i also answered the obsession meme (on my tue, 10apr post) because jennifer b. tagged me. that was so fun to do.
anyway, total pleasure to read you tonight. i look forward to reading more of your fun personality.
greetings from anchorage alaska :)
Those are great, very understandable obsessions. I especially relate to, umm, 1,2,3 and 5. Number 4 makes me a little nervous, though. Number 5 makes me realize there’s someone else like me out there!! :) Do you fix pictures that are askew when you see them out at other places? I do. I think about how I expect one of these times someone’s not going to have it fastened to the wall very well and then there’ll be a huge crash to the floor. (Yeah, I think too much.)
I love getting mail, email and blog comments. LOVE! Probably not enough to give out my name and address, though… ;)
LOL girl . . . we’re so alike it’s not funny . . . though my OCD runs a little on the organisational as opposed to wardrobe-centred line . . .
and yes Wendela, I’ve straightened many a picture in my life . . . the pictures at the Church building being askance drives me batty! lol
Ahhh, number three. I am dreaming of the day I can fit into normal jeans again. I guess I should be grateful (as it’s not THAT big of a deal, really … right?) but having to tug at my pants all day is one of the worst parts of pregnancy for me.
I am OCD about my e-mail. Seriously, I heard my “mail noise” last night in the middle of dinner and had to go check to see what it was. DH laughed at me.
I still love you…and your mom should get all over your behind for giving out your address ;)
Comfy jeans? muy interesante, I’ll have to remember that.
I’m obsessive about smells, I can not stand bad smells, they are just bad.
If you shred the mail then you’ll have a mess and a mess needs to be cleaned up and if you are curled up in a ball the mess will get left behind and I hate a mess!
So…..to save myself as well as you….yes we still love you. Hands off that mail!
Hi kindred spirit! You sound normal to me–and how could I not adore someone who leaves a nice comment on my blog?
Grateful – But I was being -serious-! ~Lol~
Wendela – You are so not alone, I’ve had that except same thought! I’m not worried about number 4. I’m too ugly and boring for anyone to stalk. And it’s a PO BOX in another city anyway.
Tirzah – I’m a desperutt woman! =P
Kate – I’m too lazy to be properly OCD!
NCS – I’m with you on the smells. One of the reasons I’m such a picky eater. I blame my nose!! And yeah, my mom is going to scold me big time. Heh.
Elizabeth – I loooove your pic! And although my fingers are a bit twitchy, I’ll stay away from the mail. Promise.
Jennifer – Oooo…I love being adored!
Beth – Bet I check mine more often than you!
I looooooooooooooove getting mail.
I hate my scale so bad, but I step on the ho-bag every single day too.
I am a chapstick addict as opposed to a lip gloss one. I used to weigh myself more often, but now that is what Tuesday morning is for … after I pee and strip. Comfy jeans that make me look/feel cute are a must, and I LOVE snail mail, email, comments, you name it, I will take it. And I am all over symmetry as well. If there is a book upside down on a shelf or out of line, I will get my lazy tush off the couch to go fix it.
We so need to hang out! When are you coming? You could mail yourself :) ?!?
Chick – Completely irrational to want to start our day that way, but there you go, eh?
Lucy – Soon hopefully! We might come down over our May long weekend. Neil wants to hit the outlet stores…he’s craving Nike golf shirts. I want to get me into a Dress Barn and get outfitted for summer. And you are definitely me, only sweeter. Can’t wait to meet you!
You are too funny! Now, if I ever get around to it, I can send you snail mail! How fun is that? Besides, it’s not like you were giving us a map to your house. At least, here in my town, PO boxes are at the post office, which is miles and many turns from my house. Besides, if anyone dangerous did stalk you, you could probably disarm them with your wit and charm.
Jeans….totally with you there. Symmetry….I can be bad about that, but don’t sound nearly as perfect as you. If you were to visit my house, something tells me you’d want to rearrange my bookshelves and re-set the kitchen table.
Lip gloss/chapstick….so completely there with you. So mush so that I had my mom mail me a dozen tubes of my favorite natural chapstick, which cannot be found for love or money in your wonderful country. Henry David bought me some Burt’s Bees for Christmas, and I discovered it has a really good benefit. If left accidentally in the coin pocket of my jeans (where I ALWAYS stash my chapstick), it will not melt out and all over my clothing when accidentally tossed into the washer AND the dryer. It will be slightly rearranged in the tube, but all else will be well. That definitely is better than the time I melted cherry chapstick all over a batch of jeans and overalls, not to mention the dryer walls.
Thanks for making me laugh today. And thanks too, for commiserating with me on my post today. I’m glad not to be totally alone with my imagination. =)
I am so with you on the symmetry. Our kitchen table is centered under 3 recessed lights. If the center of the table isn’t under the center light…let’s just say that I have been known to move the table in the middle of dinner.
May is too far away, how about April 28th? I hear that might be a fun bloggy date. Be here … or be very square!
Sara – Is there any possible way we’ll meet each other and not recognize the kindred spirit feeling? No way! I gotta get me some of that chapstick!
Thea – Hee hee…I would so do the exact same thing.
Lucy – I’m so excited!!
hi kimberly: i thought you were being serious, for real, that’s what made it even more fun to read your blog. you are bold and a hoot. you’ve got spunk. i thought that when i read the first under 50 words by you.
i like you and your stuff sooo much so far, i added your blog to my side bar on my blog. cause i want to read your stuff often.
i am also obsessed with keeping chapstick on me ALWAYS (except when i sleep). if i don’t have any, i go stir crazy.
i can’t stand it when a picture or something is crooked and have to adjust it, otherwise i keep staring at it, feels unsettling. i can’t stand it when one of the cabinet doors are open. i bark out close the door to the daughters until they close it or i close it.
i looove mail. i love email and am having fun with trying out this blog thing (i am a blog newbie — just started a blog a few days ago, but i do like). i don’t know how i am going to handle being away on a family road trip for 3 1/2 weeks. i know it will be good to be visiting, but i bet i will miss email and blog access sooo bad. i already feel the withdrawal symptoms and we haven’t even left yet.
thanks for being a crack up.
happy day :)
I’m totally obsessed with fabric softener and having clean smelling laundry..
I’m obsessed with collecting the very worst names I can find. Seriously. I’ll go to the store and read a name tag that says “ABBAGAIL,” and I mentally laugh and file it away in a special brain compartment under “Mom Was The Dancing Queen, And Dad Is Fernando.”
There really is a girl at Kroger’s named ABBAgail.
I carry my small assortment of Burt’s Bees natural lip gloss products with me everywhere I go. Compulsive lip lickers are nasty.
I love real mail too but it’s hard to come by these days. When I was about 12, I’d get those lists from the library of free pamphlets you could send away for. I got tons of mail. I’m not sure why I needed information on toenail fungus and immigration law, but dang, I got tons of mail.
I do like the new name and new look, by the way, but did you know that the light font on black background hurts my eyes after a while? I walk away from your blog and I can still see stripes in front of my face. I’d still visit your blog no matter what kind of pain and visual impairment I may have to suffer, and maybe it’s just me, but I just felt like telling you all about it.
Gee, and I thought I was obsessed. Oh wait. I am….
Kim….that is a hilarious post.
I love that you admit them all…
keep an eye on that mailbox!
okay, i am also obsessed with this. even though our home is definitely not clean clean, i can not stand it when i see husband’s underwear on the floor. i do not know why he feels inclined to shed his loin cloth on the floor for everyone to see, but i can’t stand looking at it for even a moment and immediately have to gather it up and toss it in the clothes pile for washing.
i am also sooo obsessed with plucking my eyebrows, i mean i keep up with this practically every single day. i don’t know why, but this has to be perfect. for some weird reason, when i am maintaining this, all the world feels calm to me, like the planets are perfectly aligned or so, and i can think clearly for a moment and i usually wish the house was totally quiet in these moments.
obsessions are fun, too :)
Grateful – Be strong! You’ll make it!
Burg – I was once too. Then I married a man who’s allergic to the stuff. ~sigh~
EWBL – That’s a good one! I collect funny quotes. I write ‘em in the addresses section of my dayplanner.
Julie – Awww…you’re too sweet! And frankly, for you? I’d paint my blog pink if that’s what it took to please you!
Amber – It’s all part of your charm.
Angie – I’m afraid to right another because I don’t think I can top that one. =P
Grateful – I’m an eyebrow plucker too, but it’s by necessity. I was cursed with a monobrow. Ack! ~lol~
I am obsessed with having a clean living room, all other rooms can do what they must. I live in a small space, at the moment..I need something.
I am so mailing you something this week!
hi kimberly: monobrow! you made me laugh out loud! thanks for the laugh this morning.
i know you loooove mail, so i sent you an email. so am i worthy now in your blogosphere?? he he
you’re a crack up.
ps. and that was so nice of you to lighten up your blog screen to help one person’s eyes. sweet of you.
happy day :)
PJ – I’m the exact same. I have to close my bedroom door when company comes, because that’s where I stash the mess.
Nic – Whadda ya know, and I’m mailing you something today!
Grateful – Wish I were this funny every day!
kimberly: you’re doing awesome.
thanks for the smile and the email :)
take care :)
I like the new blog outfit – nice.
Out with the old…….In with the new!
The black felt too dark and funeralish. Unless you were going to add a pulsing strobe light to the black template (that would have rocked!), I prefer this light, easy, breezy shell more.
I’m going to mail you my comment. (Am I a suck-up or what?)
Yeah…I think I look good in polka dots. =P I kinda liked the dark look. I think I would’ve made a great goth type in high school, and I’ve always thought I missed my chance.
Yay! Mail comin’ my way!
I totally won the lip gloss wars the year I graduated from university. A group of us were talking about needing lip gloss always and our male prof didn’t believe the obsession. I opened my incredibly tiny purse and pulled out 14 lip glosses – some from body shop, some burt’s bees, some blistex, some bonne bell, some with tint, some without…..
I cut back that day. I honestly hadn’t realized how bad the obsession had become…
Of course, one of my other girl friends had 10 or 11, so I wasn’t alone.