Wacky Weekend
by Kym on April 23, 2007
Friday night Neil had his monthly date night with Emma. I was a bit early dropping her off, so I played with her and Becca in the kid’s corner at Neil’s office. Amidst the colletion of beaten on toys, was a female action figure. She was beautiful and had a skookum figure. I was more than a little pleased when Emma picked her up and called her Mommy. The idea that she had such a rosy tinted view of me was very endearing. I ruffled her hair and kissed her head, and continued to watch her play.
A handsome prince figurine was selected to be Daddy (very appropriate, I thought), and Emma had the two figurines exchange hugs, kisses, and warm expressions of “I love you.”
And then the Mommy figure said something that has stuck with me all weekend. She said, “I’m sad.” She then lay down on the ground, and the game was over.
Not often that our children playing around with hunks of plastic can have such a profound impact on our view of our lives, but there you go. I’ve spent the weekend pondering about it. My struggles with post-partum depression (late diagnosis, long story) have definitely had an impact on Emma, and I’ve often reminded myself of that when her behaviour has been difficult to deal with. But I got past the curled up the couch wimpering stage a few months ago. What a poignant reminder of how much longer Emma’s memory has become! Very humbling and instructive. I could wax philosophical about it for pages, but I’m not going to. Mostly because I don’t feel like it, but also because I’m not ready to yet.
Saturday was a fun day. Neil and Emma did yardwork outside all morning, while Becca and I giggled and ran around the house, alternating between cleaning and cuddling. That afternoon we drove out to a church member’s house for an outdoor easter egg hunt (so smart to do it after everything goes 50% off). Both girls had a blast. I was reminded of my goal to take them outside every day, and recommitted myself to it.
Saturday night we watched “Bride and Prejudice.” I adored it! I can’t remember the last time I was so thoroughly entertained. I’m so glad it’s not due back till Thursday, because I want to watch it over and over and catch every nuance. Neil enjoyed it, but found it a bit overwhelming and doesn’t feel the need to see it again any time soon. So I guess I know what I’m doing during nap time today.
Sunday was…difficult. Still recovering from my week long bout of flu, and having been plagued by nightmares all night, I spent the majority of our time at church with my head lolling around. When I was playing prelude music before meetings started, I memorized several bars ahead, then closed my eyes as I played through them. I was so touched by the love and concern of the sisters. I got so many hugs yesterday!
I’m left feeling very odd today. I’m exhausted yet energized. I feel I can take on anything, but I also want to curl up with my thoughts and sort them out before they dissipate. Life is conflict though. There are always choices to be made, priorities to organize, and chaos to calm.
This is what living feels like.
16 comments
Weird, isn’t it? :)
by That Chick Over There on April 23, 2007 at 6:15 pm. #
hi kimberly: thanks for stopping by today. i really enjoyed your words to me.
so glad to hear that your ward sisters gave you plenty of hugs yesterday. i love hugs, too. sound like you really needed that lately. cuddle time with your little one sounded priceless.
here’s sending another hug to you from way over here :)
blessings and hugs and good vibes to you this day :)
by so grateful to be Mormon! on April 23, 2007 at 6:25 pm. #
If this situation had happened to me with my daughter, it would have left me kind of quiet and pensive as well. Don’t let it discourage you, though. Instead, embrace it and use it as motivation to help create happy moments now. I am sure there are already lots of those floating around in Emma’s head, too, so accentuate the positive and move forward with your head held high! Sending lots of hugs your way.
I can’t wait to see you!
by An Ordinary Mom on April 23, 2007 at 6:29 pm. #
Chick – Living? The weirdest. I spent so much of my life avoiding it, so embracing it is just bizarre to me.
Grateful – Thanks so much!
Lucy – That’s exactly what I’m going to try to do, thanks! Can’t wait to see you too! I can’t believe it’s really happening!
by Kimberly on April 23, 2007 at 6:38 pm. #
I saw Bride and Prejudice a few months ago and thought it was just too weird for me lol, although it was cute. Sorry yesterday was hard. (((hugs))) Sounds like Saturday went great though, that is smart to do the easter egg hunt after easter when things are on sale :)
by Kara on April 23, 2007 at 7:54 pm. #
She will forget soon enough. Laylee also plays with mom dolls that always seem very tired. She’s moved on from sad and soon I think she’ll move on from tired. Because I am.
I’m excited about B&P now. I’ve got it in my netflix cue.
by The Daring One on April 23, 2007 at 9:06 pm. #
I’m sorry you’re feeling unsteady (the best word I could find for it). I totally understand being off set by dolls. BabyGirl’s mommy dolls usually die. Not sure why, but it is unsettling.
I’ll have to check out B&P…my mom gave it the thumbs up as well. First I have to stay awake through the three I rented yesterday (very unual for me to rent movies…or fall asleep during them).
BTW, haven’t been by in a while. Love the new look!
by Farm Wife on April 23, 2007 at 9:20 pm. #
I cannot tell you how many times my daughters have watched Bride and Predjudice. At one point they had that whole cobra snake dance memorized, lol. I’m sorry you’ve been sick, and had nightmares. Hope things get better soon.
by Carrotjello on April 24, 2007 at 12:40 am. #
hi kimberly: that was sweet what you wrote about your hubby on my blog. awesome how he is with your little ones.
hope you feel better, dandy, and wonderful again very asap :)
happy night to ya :)
by so grateful to be Mormon! on April 24, 2007 at 2:43 am. #
My oldest has said things like that to me.. “Mom, please don’t cry anymore..” It usually made me feel worse. I think my ppd is much better now though..
by Burg on April 24, 2007 at 3:54 am. #
Kimberly, thanks for the Lonsdale Quay idea. I asked Henry David where it was, and he described it to me. Then I told him it had good fudge there. His response was that I must be stressed if I was turning to the internet for sourcing my chocolate. I had to explain to him the power of having a blogging sister from the same province. Ah, just hearing there is a fudge shop makes me relax a bit. =)
As for you, when you are ready to share your story, we’ll be listening. In the meantime, you’ve got a redhead who has had her melancholy (check me into the hospital and don’t leave me alone for a second) days sending you virtual hugs. I’m glad to hear that you are coming out of that dark place and back into the sunshine. Your precious daughters will soon remember only your joy and all that you invest in them.
love, Inkling
by Inkling on April 24, 2007 at 3:59 am. #
*HUGS* to you . . . don’t think I can add much to the comments that have already been made . . . good for you for embracing life! :)
by Kate on April 24, 2007 at 11:35 am. #
Oh Kimberly that just broke my heart.
I’m sorry about the PPD….and it’s effects.
I’m glad that you’re feeling if nothing else…energized and ready for anything.
by Brown Eyed Girl on April 24, 2007 at 1:30 pm. #
It’s scary how perceptive kids are. But then again, maybe Super Mom (or whatever her action figure name was) just got sad and it’s no reflection on you (life is tough when you’re made of plastic I hear). I wonder if I read too much into my kids behavior sometimes. I have a tendency to take everything personally.
by Julie Q. on April 24, 2007 at 2:05 pm. #
hi kimberly: are you feeling better today? hope so. now i am sick! yick! one daughter just got over strep throat and now my head and throat are sooo miserable. hating this. so glad we don’t have to feel sick every day of our lives. what a drag that would be, so i am grateful to feel pretty normal most of the time.
i had fun answering all your “interview me meme” questions in my post. now, i am trying to figure out how to answer the questions that “elizabeth”-w sent me. i have to ponder.
happy day to you girl. all things good to you and your little tykes this day :) be well :)
by so grateful to be Mormon! on April 24, 2007 at 3:35 pm. #
Kara – That was Neil’s reaction to it too! =)
Kathryn – Thanks…I needed to hear that. And I bet you’ll love B&P!
Inkling – You’re the best! ~hugs~
Kate – Thanks, it feels good!
Angie – It’s a much needed lesson for me. Just retribution for some judgemental thoughts I had once upon a time.
Julie – Oh, that’s just too funny! And cheers me no end!
Grateful – Thanks for all your thoughtfulness!
by Kimberly on April 24, 2007 at 9:24 pm. #