Temporary? Insanity

It began with a kiss. A goodbye kiss. That little lurch in my stomach. That fluttery feeling of presentiment. I knew I was going to miss Neil like crazy.

Yes, I got a little heartsick over the cute kids at the airport, on the plane, at DeDee’s house, and at the Pioneer picnic. And DeDee’s little niece Adele, Becca’s kindred spirit for certain, did a real number on me.

But I missed Neil the most. I won’t go into details, because as much as I pretend to pout about my blog being rated “G”, I’m actually kind of proud of that fact. Suffice it to say, I had to resist the urge to call him several times a day. And when my plane got in Thursday night, and I got lost trying to find his Aunt’s house, I gave into my feelings and drove the two and a half hours home instead of trying to wrap my head around the map book.

You should’ve seen him jump when he rolled over in bed and I was there! Priceless!

But enough about what I was missing while I was gone, time to talk about what I’m missing now.

DeDee. The trip was so sweet, but the bitter that’s mixed in with that is having had this small taste of her and having to give her up all over again. I couldn’t find it in me to cry over it, partially because of how ungrateful that would seem, and partially because I felt this hollowness in the pit of my stomach when I thought about leaving. I didn’t feel all sad and sniffly, just…kind of empty. That age old feeling of a piece of you missing.

And I had a sudden thought, that maybe yet another reason I blog, is to surround myself with friends, so I don’t miss my best friend quite as much. Kind of twisted, but the theory fits.

I told her that I’d come to see her, not Utah, but in all our comings and goings, I got to see a fair chunk of the area. I was, of course, amazed at the number church buildings and Temples in the area. I come from an area where we have roughly 35-40 people attending our meetings. The concept of an entire congregation fitting into a five block radius was a bit hard to grasp.

We attended a Pioneer Day parade and picnic on Tuesday, and it was fun. Hot, but fun. I got to meet three of DeDee’s siblings (a small sampling, but I wasn’t complaining), and was delighted by (and envious of) their closeness. The way they could sit and chat with each other about anything and everything. The laughing and the teasing. I felt blessed to be so welcomed by them, me, a virtual stranger.

And they didn’t mock me too badly when I pigged out on leftover brownies from the picnic and was too full for dinner.

I have to say that nothing, nothing, could have prepared me for how much fun I had Wednesday night. Amber, Brillig, DeDee, and I got together for dinner at AppleBees. Four hours and roughly two thousand seven hundred and eighty three laughs later, Brillig’s phone rang, her much neglected (reportedly hot) husband on the line. We didn’t want the evening to end, so we ambled over to the nearby Walmart and played the “Buy Each Other Presents for Less than a Dollar” game. Amber had this beyond brilliant idea, and we split into pairs and wandered around the place, giggling conspiratorially.

I have never wanted to live in Utah. Were the option presented now, I just might consider it for the sake of getting to know those gals even better. Amber has this incredibly dry wit, with accompanying hilarious facial expressions, that had me busting a gut. Brillig, whose fabulousness has intimidated me from a distance, is in reality, well…still fabulous, but loveable too, you know?

I’ve no earthly idea what they think of me. I talked almost non-stop. I climbed up on a chair to take pictures, and laughed so inanely that people at other tables turned and stared. I kept trying to slow myself down and be…more real. But nervous momentum kept me going. They were just so…so cool. And I couldn’t for the life of me seem to shut up.

Thursday was fun too, but a different kind of fun than sitting in a restaurant gabbing kind of fun. It was all pushing strollers and chasing kids, and trying to visit in between. K from Windmill Watching was able to join us for a bit, and I’ve decided that I like her even though she’s this tall, gorgeous creature with amazing hair that I’d just about kill for. Tirzah from Ordinary Miracles was beyond cute, and had this subtle sense of humour that I wish wish wish I could’ve explored more. Time was pressing in on us though.

Can I just say…Arrrrgggh!

We met up with Lara the Lazy Organizer at Barnes and Noble, and Amber joined us there as well. I went crazy buying up books and presents for Neil and the girls, missing out of valuable visiting time as I did so. Yes, I’m an idiot. But my kids and hubby love me all the more. Lara is such an incredibly nice person. The kind I’d love to sit and chat with for hours. I think, all told, I got about five or ten minutes.

I regret not having enough time. One more day. I wish I’d had one more day. But then, I’m so grateful for the time I did have. For the women who reorganized their lives and gave of their time just so I could place a face and voice with a blog. For Neil, and my cousin Ron and his wife Donna, who took care of the girls so this was possible.

I’m even grateful for what an insanely chaotic mess my house was when I came home. Because I need to feel needed, and that sure cinched that.

I missed Neil like crazy, yes. I missed my girls. I’m missing DeDee like crazy now, and my hearts going to be aching for awhile now. But I’m going to do it again. Because, as the lyrics of the song I was singing when we left the restaurant Wednesday night say…

“I’ve had, the time of my liiiiife!”