Tell Me I’m Not Alone
by Kym on December 29, 2007
So the picture below is what happened last night when my last straw, a medium sized saucepan, and one of my upper kitchen upboards collided. And it felt good. Really good. Until the sobbing kicked in anyway. Frankly, the saucepan had it coming. It fell on my head when I opened a cupboard. The cupboard though was guiltless in the affair.
I feel like Dr. Jekyll. Lately, my mild mannered alter-ego has been giving way to the beast within. The need to exercise my anxiety and frustration in a physical manner scares me. What will fall victim to my next fit of range? The breadmaker? The shower curtain? Is anything safe? We just bought a house! I can’t afford to be breaking things.
So I need to find a way to fix me.
On the bright side I’ve seriously freaked Neil out and he’s going to help with the housework today. There’s always a silver lining, right?
31 comments
Well, it sounds to me like the pan had it coming. Glad your hubby got to witness your freak-out and will now be helping out for a while…
by Tracey on December 29, 2007 at 6:10 pm. #
Um, could you be pregnant? I seem to recall reading about TTC #3. For whatever reason, physical rage against inanimate objects has been my pregnancy ‘tell’.
Either way, so glad that Neil took it as an opportunity to help out a bit more!
by Driving With the Brakes On on December 29, 2007 at 7:32 pm. #
Your hubby obviously read the tip of the day “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”
This is a stressfull time of the year even if it is fun. You’ll be back to normal soon enough.
by Tonya on December 29, 2007 at 7:44 pm. #
i’ve been the same way lately…i think the holidays have been so busy and stressful (though still happy!), i’m so tired and it doesn’t take much to make me snap right now.
i hope you are feeling better soon…and i’m glad that Neil saw the saucepan’s confrontation with the cupboard. i think men sometimes need a less-than-subtle wake-up call…
*hugs*
by monkeysandmarbles on December 29, 2007 at 8:13 pm. #
i find a mild freak-out ALWAYS (usually) helps with getting some help. MOSTLY the kind you want.
sometimes the kind you don’t…
here’s hoping it’s the former for you. :)
by holly on December 29, 2007 at 8:38 pm. #
Freak outs are a necessary part of any stressful season. And if a pan fell on my head, I’d be mad too.
Glad Neil is helping out though.
Go have a nice hot bath and get him to massage your toes. That always helps me. (Unless I’m having a ticklish day. Then I tend to kick. But that helps too sometimes. Bad Jo.)
by Jo Beaufoix on December 29, 2007 at 8:47 pm. #
I seriously, seriously hate when everyone immediately jumps to the hormonal to explain away “bad” behavior, but didn’t you say a few entries ago that you were trying to get pregnant?
Hormones (of PMS, pregnancy, miscarriage, IVF, all those) seriously give me rage. When I was doing the IVF, actually, the doctor warned me that “a few people have shown increased homocidal tendencies” on one of the drugs I was going to be taking. I laughed. Until I was sittng at the subway stop, staring at those friggin people who just HAD to stand so close to the FRIGGIN EDGE of the platform. I had to close my eyes and fold my arms and put my back against the wall so that I wouldn’t just give them a little SHOVE for being so STUPID.
Ah, childbearing.
by k on December 29, 2007 at 8:53 pm. #
I’ve kicked a few cupboards in my time, and I’ve had to go in my room at times so I could scream into my pillow. Better to take it out on inanimate objects than on the kids!
Here’s hoping to a less stressful 2008?!
by mindyluwho on December 29, 2007 at 9:33 pm. #
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Okay? Seriously. You’re buying a house, trying for baby #3, dealing with two small kids on a daily basis, trying to lose weight AND coping with the holidays (and all they entail). (I seem to recall something about a student loan, too, but maybe that wasn’t a pressure point).
We all do it sometimes. Whatever it is that you like to do and that calms you down – do it. Go out for a walk. Punch a punching bag.
Breathe…
by The Rotten Correspondent on December 29, 2007 at 10:48 pm. #
of course you’re not alone. you have a lot going on, girl. hang in there!
by aubrey on December 29, 2007 at 11:18 pm. #
I hope you don’t mmind, I wrote a post in response to this one.
by Summer on December 30, 2007 at 12:24 am. #
I remember one time throwing a kitchen timer through a window. It was a very very bad day.
You’re definitely normal, and you’ll be OK. I think you’re right though about trying to figure something out to help?
I usually have better control of my blinding rage when I’ve had some good exercise. Just a thought…
by JustRandi on December 30, 2007 at 1:34 am. #
Oh, I feel ya! I had a day like that today too.
by Jen on December 30, 2007 at 1:40 am. #
Holy cow, saucepans falling on my head would probably be my first AND last straw all at once! OUCH!
And yes, you are NOT alone. I always thought I was a “patient person” and yet I find myself doing this kind of thing way too often. The worst was the kicked-in drywall that happened immediately following my putting down Snoozing Four-Month-Old Firstborn in his crib (for the eighty millionth time) — which action caused him to scream bloody murder and caused me to kick his wall in a fit of rage.
Stress. It’s a killer, sir. *BIG HUGS*
by Beth on December 30, 2007 at 2:16 am. #
I came over from Summer’s post and oh my goodness, you are not alone. I figured I was the only one doing these things this week! I was throwing toys today as I “helped” my youngest son pick up his room, which was, yet again, trashed. I’m like this way too much, but I know I’m also premenopausal. But, even though I have a “reason”, I hate that I’m not in control.
by Holly on December 30, 2007 at 2:41 am. #
I’m afraid I’m going to have to contact SPS (saucepan protective services). People like you should be locked away in a warm, dark room filled with a bubble bath and candles, and chocolate. Really!
by wynne on December 30, 2007 at 3:59 am. #
Actually, it could be worse. The saucepan attacked first! It’ll be all right, dear….
Take care!
BJ
by Blogget Jones on December 30, 2007 at 4:39 am. #
So not alone…..I have found that a freakout sometimes helps….but I certainly understand the feelings of uneasiness afterward. I don’t think anyone likes to lose control.
by Corey~living and loving on December 30, 2007 at 5:06 am. #
I hate moments like that and have noticed as I get older my mood is not so easy to keep even. I don’t know that you’re looking for this kind of thing, but I found a multi-vitamin that has helped me ALOT, to the point that when I don’t take it for a few days my husband asks me. It’s called Bio-35 by Pro-biotics and it’s a vitamin-mineral-trace minerals stress formula. I can pronounce almost everything on the label and it really does just even me out. I was referred to it from a friend that was having the same problem keeping “Up” but didn’t really need/want a prescription. I find mine at Wal-mart.
I’m so sorry. When I have moments like that I seem to zone in on all my faults, it’s overwhelming.
by Josi on December 30, 2007 at 3:45 pm. #
Hi! I’m Cristy and came over from Summer’s post. OK, I’m so happy I found another “real” woman. I”m always explaining to my husband that really I’m not the only psycho (not that I”m saying you are) just that I’m a GIRL a WOMAN, and he just doesn’t believe that as women we all do tend to break down every now and then. I think I will forward this to him…. ;)
by Cristy on December 30, 2007 at 5:36 pm. #
You’re completely surrounded by other people in the same boat – Large love to you.
by Thalia's Child on December 30, 2007 at 7:04 pm. #
I’m glad I’m not the first person to ask if you’re pregnant — that’s the first thing that went through my mind. When I’m pregnant, I could kill people and not even care.
But hey, you got help with housework. That’s a good thing!
I also agree with the other commenters — you’re going through a lot right now and you’re stressed. See, if while he’s helping with housework, if Neil will take the girls for a whole day and let you nap, read, relax, shop — anything that would be a break for you.
by Tristi Pinkston on December 30, 2007 at 7:30 pm. #
I’ve been known to smack a wall every now and then. We all do it!
by Mama Zen on December 30, 2007 at 8:34 pm. #
Nope, not alone. I’ve had to scream into a pillow for 5 minutes, followed by a cry-fest a time or two, and I don’t have 2 little ones depending on me! (Just a spoiled kitty)
Me thinks you should take a kickboxing class and get the aggression out that way..and you’ll get a firm butt out of the deal. ;)
*hugs*
by ElizabethSheryl on December 30, 2007 at 11:38 pm. #
that cupboard had it coming. it’s was trash talking the sauce pan to my blender last week.
by katydidnot on December 31, 2007 at 3:11 am. #
I murdered a tape gun and a couple of books the week before Christmas. I always go a little nuts in January (SAD), but this year, it seems to have come early.
I am a firm believer in medication. If you haven’t already, read this. Sums up my thoughts pretty well, whether it’s depression, anxiety or OCD.
by Karlene on December 31, 2007 at 4:38 am. #
Once upon a time I kicked a hole through a wall. I felt amazing, told my husband I tripped.
The end.
by moosh in indy. on December 31, 2007 at 5:55 am. #
Wowzers, girl! That pan TOTALLY had it coming.
I can’t even imagine all the stress you’re under right now. Whew!!!! I’d say that smashing naughty pans is a perfect way to get out some of the stress (and freak Neil out which, as you’ve pointed out, is NOT a bad thing!)
Best of luck through this craziness, dear…
by Brillig on December 31, 2007 at 3:25 pm. #
Sweetie! I’m emailing you a casserole and some brownies this minute.
by Luisa Perkins on December 31, 2007 at 4:11 pm. #
That pan had a lot of nerve attacking you like that. Hopefully it gave you an apology ;)
Yeah… I’ve thrown things… screamed… yelled… and you’re right – it usually makes me feel better and gets me a little more help. I hope you’re able to rest a little… now, I’m going to crawl back into bed and pretend that I don’t exist…
by Melissa on December 31, 2007 at 7:55 pm. #
“fit of range” haha that was funny.
but seriuosly, just be happy you did it at home and not in the middle of a little family restraunt. oh yeah.
by newnorth on January 3, 2008 at 4:06 am. #