My Cage
by Kym on February 29, 2008
Last night, we dashed into town for a quick shopping trip after dinner. We got stuck at the bottom of the driveway, and I helped Neil shovel the slush (Spring is coming!) out of the way so we could get a better run at it. As I sucked in the lovely tang of the slightly chill air, I smiled, and found myself enjoying the work. During our drive into town I was singing along with the girls’ Little People tape. The one I usually start wincing over after ten minutes.
At the grocery store I indulged Emma’s desire to hold hands and run around. I swooped Becca up in my arms at one point and danced around like a madwoman whilst our groceries were bagged. I was full of smiles and grins for everyone we ran into.
And then we got home.
It was like I’d taken some sort of mind-altering drug. Gone were the grins. Gone were the giggles. Cue the scowls and the snappiness that have been creeping into my life with increasing frequency this winter.
Emma looked at me with no small degree of perplexity and asked, “Why you not happy, Mommy?”
Why indeed.
This morning I took the girls to the community playgroup, then the library, then to Neil’s office for a quick hug and hello in between patients, and then to a friend’s house to say another quick hello. And then home.
By then, I’d figured it out. Being stuck at home for such long stretches has been making me miserable. It was with no small amount of reluctance that I drove the car into the garage and hauled the kids inside.
I think that’s sad. Really, really sad. I have three big jobs in my opinion; wife, mother, homemaker. My recent failure in the homemaking department is having a huge impact on my ability to be a good wife and mother. Yes, I need to get out more. But I also need to find ways to invite more happiness into our home.
I’m thinking that the 35 comments (bless you!) on my last post requesting music suggestions may help a great deal. We need some good tunes to get us moving and smiling some more. On the bright side of this whole ‘our house feels like a cage’ realization is the fact that we are moving in early April. Perhaps I can find joy in the packing of every box, seeing it as a further step towards a happier home (and FlatDrivewayLand).
I’m grateful that I’m starting to hate this place. Maybe I won’t be sad to leave it now.
28 comments
I soooo have cabin fever. It’s too cold and icky out most days for me to gird up my loins and face the elements with my wee one. I think this same wee one is suffering, too, with the same irritability I have. I’ve tried brightening the place up a bit with music and flowers and organizing closets. I’m glad you get to move soon and that you are excited about it. Packing and moving can be cathartic!
by KJ on February 29, 2008 at 1:46 am. #
I’m glad you are making it out. Now if you could just make it here. . .
by Dedee on February 29, 2008 at 2:05 am. #
Knowing is half the battle.
I don’t blame you for having a bit of spring fever.
I hope it gets better soon. Come on Spring…Kim needs you.
by Tonya on February 29, 2008 at 2:40 am. #
It’s easy to get down in the winter – so many people do. Cabin fever, fewer hours of sunlight…
Getting out is good for you – just think, there will always be more cleaning and cooking to do, but so few years of little ones.
Spring is around the corner (I think? Is it?) – hang in there!
by lapoflux on February 29, 2008 at 2:45 am. #
I love being home – there’s no place like home!
Except when I’m forced to be there 24/7 throughout the winter, when everyone here is ill….
By springtime, my cabin fever is darn near life threatening! (ha, ha)
I’m eagerly anticipating Spring’s arrival as well. ;S
by Magirk on February 29, 2008 at 2:48 am. #
Won’t be long; hang on.
Spring will and with it the move. I’m sure it will help.
(I’ve been sequestered with my sick girl all week. I’m feeling cagey too.)
by Lisa Milton on February 29, 2008 at 2:50 am. #
If I don’t get out at least once a day I go a little nutty.
At least you are figuring it out!!
by JustRandi on February 29, 2008 at 3:02 am. #
I’m so happy for your big move. I hope it will make it easier for you to get out.
I really dislike being at home most of the time too. It really does feel like a prison, more so in winter time.
by Summer on February 29, 2008 at 3:07 am. #
Now this, this is what’s weird. I never felt that way. I would love to be home … on second thought maybe not; while I have no toddlers I do have a work at home Husband.
Thanks for stopping by my ‘place’.
by Daryl E on February 29, 2008 at 3:20 am. #
You’re not alone. I’ve felt trapped in a cage for the last few weeks too. Oddly enough, we went out today in the fresh air and I was doing the same thing – smiling and laughing and playing with Csilla happily. As soon as I got home… wonk wonk wonk. Trapped again. Hang in there a little longer. Spring is in the air!
by Carolyn on February 29, 2008 at 3:33 am. #
We did the exact same things today (minus visiting a friend, we visited Target instead :P We’ve been have some nice weather down here, sunny and not much rain and I’m mentally sending it your way.
If life gives you a cage… paint it purple with green paisleys. That sounded really weird…sorry.
by Fooferoo on February 29, 2008 at 3:33 am. #
My home feels like a prison sometime too. Such is the life of a housemom. But I’m happy you’re moving! Good luck finding a less prison-y house.
by Hillary on February 29, 2008 at 4:10 am. #
I could have written that post…or something very much like it.
Music does help tremendously.
by Rebecca on February 29, 2008 at 4:10 am. #
You expressed very common feelings, Kim. It’s the hardest job in the world, MAKING home, isn’t it? You know what they say: “If mama ain’t happy…” What a burden! It’s a constant decision, but it sounds like you’re on the right path. I wish I could come over and dance around with you.
xoxoxo. You know what I mean.
by Jenna Consolo on February 29, 2008 at 4:49 am. #
No matter how much music you bring in, sometimes it still just SUCKS to be stuck at home because of snow. My kids get irritable, I get irritable. The change of seasons is a very good thing.
Yesterday and today were beautiful sunny days, and we were outside for most of them, and my kids were SO. HAPPY. I’m sending you sunny day vibes, Kim. Hang in there.
by Sue on February 29, 2008 at 5:12 am. #
I’m so ready for spring. Whenever we get home from anywhere, Ellie spends several minutes running away and trying to play outside in the puddles, then crying when I drag her inside. She never wants to be home and inside anymore.
It is hard to be cooped up!
I know what you mean about the move. It is hard to leave, but if you get to where you are ready to leave, then it will be easier.
I’ll miss people here, but when we move, I don’t think I’ll miss the home or location at all!
I hope you can feel brighter and happier until then!
by Tirzah on February 29, 2008 at 1:24 pm. #
Hi, can’t explain how I got here, was blog-hopping. Anyway, am late to your party, and will have to fill in the gaps. Seems like you’re about to move so, guess what? you’ve mentally moved it. You have young children and have to listen to vile tripe on the car music thing, and Spring is just hanging about not quite getting here. All seems to add up to a great big fat No Wonder! Go easy on yourself. Am still in awe of your kitchen transformation. Thank goodness I’m rubbish at photos so you can’t see the state of mine. And it’s Friday today, huzzah!
by Milla on February 29, 2008 at 1:56 pm. #
I’m hesitant to believe that after the winter we’ve had it might actually be spring. The days have been warm enough to let the girls ride bikes between the piles of melting snow- but I still am steeling myself against the prospect of waking up one morning to 3-4 inches of snow.
Bring on spring!! (please?)
by Amber on February 29, 2008 at 3:57 pm. #
Everyone is in the slump of the in between. Its the time where you just want it to be over already. Then it comes, you enjoy it the Spring and then comes the sweat of the summer outdoor chores and the heat and then we want it to become a little cooler and then……….. It seems to be a seasonal cycle or something.
by Jan on February 29, 2008 at 4:09 pm. #
Ugh, I sooo know what you mean. I was so happy yesterday because it was actually warm enough to go to the park. However, my area is forecasted for another snow storm tonight. *sigh* Let’s all move to Tahiti!
by Meisha on February 29, 2008 at 6:17 pm. #
The move is coming soon! It’s going to be FABulous.
by Luisa Perkins on February 29, 2008 at 7:31 pm. #
Ah… I know this feeling… being trapped here with illness and ill kids has made me crazy also. Perhaps we should start a craziness club.
Something that we did today to get rid of some of the blah’s – another pedicure day. Baby Girl now has little bugs painted on her sweet little toes :)
by Melissa on February 29, 2008 at 8:53 pm. #
I was depressed for almost 3 years living in a house that got no sun,on a street where we were HATED for stupid reasons. It was hell.I was so ready to move out of the Cariboo, but then we moved here and that horrible fog and nastiness ended and my life turned wonderful! I wish the same for you:)
by Ms.L on February 29, 2008 at 9:09 pm. #
i am ALL for getting out of the house as much as possible during the wintertime. especially living in seattle. i have to..it’s vital to my happiness. but sometimes you can’t and that is when it’s important to have music playing and the windows wide open to let in the light. i fully understand.
by aubrey on February 29, 2008 at 11:12 pm. #
yes, get outta dat house!
if you can’t get outta the house, how about pretending you’re somewhere else? now, some might think that would go down on the list of horrible suggestions. work with me, it could be good.
no, you’re right, it’s dumb.
how about pretending i never said it? that’s gooood.
btw, i think i had a dream you and i were walking through a warehouse. why? dunno. i’m betting it was the 2:30 am bedtime wot’s dunnit.
btw2, love the new template! you so purdy, blog!
by holly on March 1, 2008 at 8:12 am. #
I’m with you on the cabin fever. Last week, Jay worked two evenings in a row and I found myself bursting into tears over the dumbest things because I was going so stir crazy with no adults to talk to. Bring on spring – and happy long summer days!
by andi on March 1, 2008 at 4:45 pm. #
((HUGS))
I was that way before our recent move, and I’m in a slump now because winter is so slow to leave. Turn on the music and crank open a window. I know it’s cold, but the fresh air is woooonderful.
by Deb on March 6, 2008 at 5:09 am. #
My problem is I need to find the proper balance of staying in the cage and then escaping from the cage. I always seem to swing too far to one extreme.
by An Ordinary Mom on March 6, 2008 at 8:15 pm. #