Perspective
by Kym on April 23, 2008
You know how when you’re motoring along down the highway at a pretty decent pace, and someone zips by you driving like a blind rodent fleeing a very hot place? And you scowl at them…possibly mutter and curse a bit, and hope that some enterprising law enforcement folk have a speed trap up ahead?
Well, I’m thinking maybe we ought to rethink that sort of reaction. Because you never know. You really never know.
It might be a mother, driving a sick child to the hospital. A child who was curled up in a ball and shrieking that her tummy hurt. This same mum may have risked a quick peek back at her child and panicked at the sight of her slumped over asleep in her car seat. Her child who never ever sleeps in the car. She may have caught sight of the dark hollows under her child’s eyes, the slight grimace of pain that still touched her sleeping toddler’s face.
And that might be why she’s flooring it. Racing to the hospital where they will fortunately discover it’s just a mild bowel problem, probably viral (don’t you just love that phrase?), and that once the gas passes she’ll feel much better.
I’m not grateful for Emma’s suffering last night, but I’m grateful the cause was so benign. And I’m grateful for that little dose of perspective, which will hopefully help me be more tolerant, kind, and patient.
We’re lazy creatures, we human beings. It’s easier to be annoyed and frustrated than to expend the effort attempting to understand.
And so, to the lady in the red SUV I passed who scowled and gesticulated at me? Get some perspective.
34 comments
Perfect timing. I was on the other side yesterday when someone ignored a yield sign and pulled out in front of me. I forgive them and take back all my bad words.
I hope your daughter feels better soon.
by Fooferoo on April 23, 2008 at 6:36 pm. #
Amen. And maybe getting husbands home in time to go to the bathroom ;)
I really try to be tolerant believe it or not. Because you really just never know. I am so puzzled by people that react like the red suv gal.
Sorry about little Emma. Hope she gets better.
by Jan on April 23, 2008 at 7:49 pm. #
Oh poor little Emma. Glad she’s okay, if a little sore, and that you’re okay. And you’re so right about stopping a moment to ask why. Hugs.
by Jo Beaufoix on April 23, 2008 at 8:33 pm. #
poor baby. And I HATE when they say it’s viral. “nothing we can do. it’s VIRAL. has to run it’s course. it’s VIRAL.” you’re viral. I mean vile. I mean, help a mother out!
by the MomBabe on April 23, 2008 at 8:59 pm. #
Oh, I hope she feels better, soon!
I try to have that perspective when I am being tailgated on the way home. (We live near the hospital!)
by Tirzah on April 23, 2008 at 9:02 pm. #
I have been working a lot lately on perspective and not passing judgment.
I am glad Emma is OK and that she feels better soon.
by An Ordinary Mom on April 23, 2008 at 9:26 pm. #
I’m glad Emma didn’t have anything serious.
by Summer on April 23, 2008 at 9:28 pm. #
You’re right, we never really know. I’m so, so glad that Emma’s ok. I think there’s no worse fear than worrying if something’s desperately wrong with your baby.
by Rebecca on April 23, 2008 at 10:33 pm. #
I hope Emma feels better soon!
by Kate on April 23, 2008 at 10:46 pm. #
Oh scary, Kim. I hope she gets better soon. That sounds like the pits.
by Elaine on April 24, 2008 at 12:35 am. #
Poor little Emma, I sure hope she feels better soon. I think “viral” is code for, we don’t have a clue.
I promise to try to keep this in mind.
by Tonya on April 24, 2008 at 12:51 am. #
I think we could all use a little perspective sometimes. And I’m glad Emma is OK.
by Hillary on April 24, 2008 at 1:10 am. #
Glad she is ok. That walking in someone else’s shoes thing is always enlightening…
by Lisa Milton on April 24, 2008 at 1:54 am. #
So true, Kim. I live by this because it’s been me too many times. The grouchy lady in the checkout line? Maybe her husband just left her and she can barely even stand up. You understand. Perspective. Tolerance. A little slack.
by Jenna Consolo on April 24, 2008 at 2:54 am. #
Oh, I hope Emma feels better soon.
My kids and I have turned it into a game- see who can come up with the most outrageous reason that that person is driving so erractically. The reasons all start out serious- heart attack, child waiting at bus stop, but it gets pretty funny after awhile and you forget to be upset.
by Sandra on April 24, 2008 at 3:20 am. #
This is something that I too am learning… Little Bug is helping me on my way… I see a kid throwing a tantrum in the store and I don’t see a brat – I see a child who may be in physical pain because the lights are too bright, the smells over powering, the senses are overloaded… and he has no way to let anyone know… perspective is an amazing gift. Really it is…
I’m so glad that Emma is okay… I hope she feels 100% soon!!
by Melissa on April 24, 2008 at 5:45 am. #
Aw, Kim. You poor thing. I hope everyone is feeling better now.
I had a similar experience once. I got a flat tire and had to replace it with the spare ‘donut,’ on which you are only supposed to drive 40 mph. The line of honking cars behind me was very stressful, and I wish I’d had a bullhorn so that I could have explained to them why I was going a full 5 mph under the speed limit. I’m more patient now.
by Luisa Perkins on April 24, 2008 at 1:06 pm. #
Oh my goodness, this is such a fantastic post. I love how you called it laziness, the scowling. that’s so true. We don’t bother to use the energy it would require to be kind and understanding. I will be thinking about this post as I make my daily rounds through the streets full of Utah drivers today… And I’ll try to be nice and consider that they might be rushing for a very important reason. Fantastic, fantastic post.
by Brillig on April 24, 2008 at 4:35 pm. #
Wow, I’m so sorry Emma was so sick! I hope she’s feeling better today. So scary.
by Beth on April 24, 2008 at 4:55 pm. #
You are so right. A little patience goes a LONG way.
I’m relieved to hear it wasn’t serious for your daughter.
by Bee Repartee on April 24, 2008 at 8:10 pm. #
I was just thinking those thoughts the other day, when someone went speeding past me! I was quite surprised that my first thought was ‘gee, I hope it’s nothing serious.’
You’re absolutely right! And I do hope she’s feeling better. Sorry for her suffering, and yours.
We really are lazy creatures. And terribly intolerant, and hasty generalizers.
Cheers and hugs to you both!
by Magirk on April 24, 2008 at 8:47 pm. #
great post Kim! :)
I’m glad it was nothing serious. big hugs to you and your little one.
by Corey~living and loving on April 24, 2008 at 10:21 pm. #
i don’t have a viral thingie, but i *am* having sympathy pains. i think it’s over-ripe onions that have done me in.
oh, you see, now that’s the *very* thing i really ought to have kept to myself.
don’t feed emma overripe onions kim. just don’t.
hoping for the bettering….
by holly on April 24, 2008 at 10:46 pm. #
As far as closing sentences go, “Get some perspective” is as solid as they come.
by J. Anthony Holloway on April 25, 2008 at 12:25 am. #
Such a great reminder. You just never know–even when you think you do.
by Annette Lyon on April 25, 2008 at 1:16 am. #
Great reminder! If everyone only knew what a crazed, stressed lunatic I am, they would never react poorly to me again….
by Amber on April 25, 2008 at 1:59 am. #
How’s this for lazy…?
Yah! What everyone said before! I totally agree with them!
by Carolyn on April 25, 2008 at 6:52 am. #
I’m glad your sweet girlie is ok:)
It is way too easy to lose that perspective and I always appreciate reminders like this!
by Ms.L on April 25, 2008 at 4:31 pm. #
so thankful emma’s okay. sometimes it’s frightening to be responsible for these little lives, isn’t it? and so good to know that God loves them even more than we do.
by Nic on April 25, 2008 at 6:05 pm. #
oh dear. i’m glad it wasn’t anything serious with emma. poor little one.
by aubrey on April 25, 2008 at 11:14 pm. #
Poor Emma. I hope she (and her mom) are doing better. Nothing scarier than taking your kid to the hospital.
by Sue on April 26, 2008 at 5:03 am. #
Very true. It’s funny how we go through life thinking we’ve got it all figured out and then suddenly it happens to you and you become wise and compassionate. Thanks for the reminder! SOrry about your little one.
by Cristy on April 26, 2008 at 9:51 pm. #
Poor Emma – and poor you – that must have been scary!
Hope everyone is better!
by JustRandi on April 27, 2008 at 12:57 am. #
I hope Emma’s feeling better. Just catching up here.
I’ve tried to remind myself to have patience with other drivers over and over and over. Especially considering there are times when I’m having a bad day and accidentally cut someone off in traffic and I feel so bad, or I’m a little slow on the uptake when the light changes because my mind is in a million other places.
by Erin on April 28, 2008 at 7:33 pm. #