Repetitive Motion Sickness
by Kym on April 26, 2008
Making up names for imaginary illnesses and syndromes can be quite fun. Especially if you’ve skirted the edges of severe hypochondria the way I have. When conventional medicine fails to explain your oddities, simply make something up! Stick an itis or a tosis on the end, or fashion yourself up a spiffy sounding acronym and voila! Let the attention and sympathy roll in!
As for me, I suffer from RMS. Symptoms include foggy memory, muscle tics (usually focused in the ocular area), bouts of irritability, melancholy, and/or aloofness. In severe cases, brain activity shuts down to a bare minimum and the victim experiences periods of near catatonia. There may even be drooling.
There are a few theories floating about as to the cause of Repetitive Motion Sickness. The most likely contender is the assertion that people whose careers incline them to perform menial, repetitive tasks throughout the course of the day are most likely to be afflicted. The lack of a varied and challenging lifestyle results in a lack of new neural pathways being formed in the brain. Rather large sections of gray matter gradually die off. Some patients suspect that they rot and gradually leak out their ears. Paranoia may at some point be added to the official symptom list.
Prescribed treatments include cross-word puzzles, salsa dancing, and flower arranging, to name a few. However, a revolutionary new treatment has been discovered and longtime sufferers of RMS are snatching it up as if it were the last yummy chocolate in a variety pack. What is this miracle cure?
Blogging.
I see you quirk your brow in a skeptical fashion. Yes, I’m quite serious. Blogging. Not only is it halting the frightening progress of neural atrophy, it seems even to be reversing the damage done by such repetitive tasks as laundry folding, picking up of miscellaneous stuff, and various other monotonous tasks.
Personally, I’m quite happy to have discovered and named this phenomenon (I thought about naming it after myself, but I get accused – and rightly so – of egomania often enough as it is). Now I can say that not only do I blog for the sake of my ego, social life, and development of writing abilities, but that I also blog for the sake of my health.
I wonder if my doctor will write a note to my husband?
26 comments
lol . . . good luck with that . . . the doctor’s note to Neil that is . . .
I’m glad that bloggyblogging seems to be working to keep your RMS at bay . . . it doesn’t work for mine . . . lol
by katestitching on April 26, 2008 at 6:38 am. #
Oh, I’ve heard reading really long epic fantasy novels really helps that, too. :D
by Luisa Perkins on April 26, 2008 at 11:26 am. #
Blogging does help. Quite a lot, in fact.
I was missing you already, and thought you were gone for a long time. Looking now, I see that your last post was on Wednesday. Blog time is different than real time!
by Rebecca on April 26, 2008 at 1:27 pm. #
Ah! The funniness that is Kim!
by Summer on April 26, 2008 at 2:56 pm. #
It has a name?! Seriously? You have no idea how happy you’ve made me… for years I’ve hung my head. Ashamed of how I felt. But now I can hold my head high, spout medical jargon that no one will ever understand, and blog. Do you think a nap might help too? Because I would be willing to take a nap if you think it might help.
by Melissa on April 26, 2008 at 3:01 pm. #
Yes! Why can’t the floors just stay clean? And laundry? Self cleaning.
All’s my life’s a circle, indeed.
by Lisa Milton on April 26, 2008 at 3:14 pm. #
You are an absolute riot!
by Jenna Consolo on April 26, 2008 at 4:20 pm. #
Yeah. A name. Now a cure please.
by Jan on April 26, 2008 at 5:27 pm. #
That was brilliant. Blogging has been a huge help for my RMS. I wonder if there’s a vaccination in the works? If so, I’m sure chocolate would be involved.
Oh. And I’m with Melissa. I’ll take a nap too. Anything to help the cause.
by Carolyn on April 26, 2008 at 5:33 pm. #
Melissa, Nap? What’s a nap?
by Annette Lyon on April 26, 2008 at 6:02 pm. #
Good luck on the Dr.’s note. If they’ll give you one, get one for me too!
by Dedee on April 26, 2008 at 6:47 pm. #
I have claimed to have hamsterwheelitis at certain times but RMS sounds much more medical.
Another symptom to add to the list is y syndrome. Blanky, potty, kitty, doggy, horsey…
by Fooferoo on April 26, 2008 at 7:54 pm. #
I definitely have that too. Thank God you’ve discovered it, I always wondered what was wrong with me.
by Jo Beaufoix on April 26, 2008 at 10:04 pm. #
i can see it now :
the kymburlee v institute for the treatment of repetitive motion sickness through blogging.
world renowned.
only the most exclusive clientelle…
by holly on April 26, 2008 at 10:50 pm. #
hee hee hee… i’ll write a note for you if you write a note for me :O)
by jenn on April 26, 2008 at 11:36 pm. #
Finally! A name for my condition that doesn’t include the word lazy- or any form thereof.
I love it!
by JustRandi on April 27, 2008 at 12:56 am. #
Well, if it IS the cure, how could he not prescribe it to you? :-)
by Amber on April 28, 2008 at 11:34 am. #
I have another cure for this…as I suffer from it as well (so happy to have a name for it now). Scrabulous. If you like crosswords puzzles you’ll be thrilled with online Scrabble.
Tell Neil I am very very sorry that I shared this with you.
by Leendaluu on April 28, 2008 at 1:47 pm. #
LOL,great post!
I suffer from AMS-Annette Miller Syndrome. The inability to serve small portions of food to ones family. I caught it from my mother in law;p
by Ms.L on April 28, 2008 at 5:00 pm. #
I am so glad you figured this out! Tell melissa she can definitely take a nap as rest cures many illnesses. I, sadly, suffer from juliewrightus. It’s a combination disease of paranoia, self doubt, and manic depression. It usually stems from a career focused in the literary arts and was discovered by James Dashner and Jeff Savage who aptly named the disease for what it was. I’ve heard the cure is continual publication treatment, but cannot, as of yet, guarantee the effectivness of that therapy. Did I ever tell you you are hilarious?
by Julie Wright on April 28, 2008 at 5:51 pm. #
blogging, sewing, photography, writing…lifelines to be sure. and i’m happy to report that it’s been a while since my ears have leaked. :)
by Nic on April 28, 2008 at 5:56 pm. #
So there IS a good excuse for the time I spend in front of my computer…thank you!!! I should really get back to doing some of that ever piling laundry, though : )
by Erin on April 28, 2008 at 7:35 pm. #
RMS! I have it. We should start a case study to show your husband.
I’ll be part of the study!
by Brown Eyed Girl on April 28, 2008 at 8:24 pm. #
Dear Neil
Please excuse Kimberly – she has permanent blog syndrome. She is a shining example to us all.
Please excuse her from all other duties to keep us amused with her blog.
Signed
Doctor McMahon
by david mcmahon on April 28, 2008 at 8:31 pm. #
Great article. Was wondering about this for ages. Many thanks.
by Asics Trainers on March 1, 2011 at 6:17 am. #
That appears to be good however i am still less than sure that I like it. Anyway will look more into it and choose personally! :)
by yarcan yarmaca on June 24, 2011 at 10:08 pm. #