Cowardice
by Kym on May 30, 2008
I have many fears. One might even go so far as to apply the label “neurotic.” I haven’t taken it to an extreme level like my mum who confides that if she worries about something it won’t happen (Direct Quote: “I didn’t worry about Iraq, and look what happened!”), but I do have my peculiarities.
The oddest of these is probably my fear of the phone. Despite having been a receptionist for several years, I still have difficulty making the simplest of phone calls. I haven’t had my hair cut since January for this very reason. Whenever I think to phone someone my vivid imagination kicks in, displaying on the movie screen of my mind all the possible scenarios that my naturally unwelcome phone call might be interrupting.
Picking up the phone is a recipe for an instant blush.
Another fear filled situation is the local library. Bit of an odd statement for an avid reader to make, but it’s true. Shelves full of strange books I’ve no idea as to the contents of? Makes me nervous. I feel this drive, this yearning to explore the shelves. To pull books off at random and delve into them. But time and time again I turn to the old favourites. I’m afraid to risk encountering something filthy, badly written, or downright disturbing.
The source of this fear is similar to the source of my fear of new foods. I have a very good memory. A worryingly good memory, I’d go so far as to say. A taste or a thought is no small fleeting thing for me. Both tend to linger. The bitter taste, the vividly disturbing scene in a poorly written book. Neither experience is lightly cast aside. They stay with me.
And so, I remain afraid. Filled with fear in what should be one of my happiest of places. I came home from the library a few days ago, with two recipe books, and two books I’ve read before. When I look at that stack I feel my cowardice keenly.
Can you suggest something for me to read? Can you give me a gentle push towards trying something new?
26 comments
Kimberly,
Go check out Goodreads.com. It’s a fabulous community where readers list books they have read and then there are all sorts of reviews from real people. I’m on under Linda T.
With this food memory you have, you MUST read Five Quarters of the Orange if you haven’t. It is my favorite book.
Have a good weekend
by Leendaluu on May 30, 2008 at 4:19 pm. #
I’ve been reading the Fablehaven series by Brandon Mull with my 9 year old. (Well- I read them and then pass them to her to read). It’s a great fantasy series full of morals and peril. Entertaining for a quick (but engaging) read.
by Amber on May 30, 2008 at 4:47 pm. #
I second the goodreads idea.
by CamiKaos on May 30, 2008 at 4:53 pm. #
I just read One Thousand Splendid Suns. A depressing but very well written book. I also recently read The Time Travelers Wife. Also sad, but also good. A good not sad book…I’ll have to think about that. Most of the books I read are sad (what does that say about me???).
by Hillary on May 30, 2008 at 5:15 pm. #
I’ve not much to add, except Percy Jackson and the Olympians. tween/teen fantasy based on Greek mythology. Very awesome! I’ll be watching the responses avidly to see what I can find for me to branch out.
by Dedee on May 30, 2008 at 6:07 pm. #
LOVE your mum’s Iraq quote!
I have an aunt like that — She passed out penicillin like vitamins because she was AFRAID we might get sick. We mocked her mercilessly growing up. :)
Sadly, I share your phone phobia. Prompted in part by the number of times I’ve been caught on the phone by an unsuspecting party at the WORST POSSIBLE MOMENT, and not being able to see the other person’s face and gage their reaction, I loathe the thought of possibly doing that to someone else. So I basically Do. Not. Call. (Sorry, everyone.)
But I LOVE email! All the information gets conveyed, even the happy chatty stuff, and everyone responds when it’s convenient.
I do not share your fear of libraries, but I do place huge responsibility on book choice — If I’m going to invest a week or two in a book, it had better be uplifting, engaging and worth my time. I’d be thrilled to share a lengthy list of wonderful reads with you. Start with Peace Like A River.
by charrette on May 30, 2008 at 6:09 pm. #
I’m on goodreads too..under KieraAnne. :)
by KieraAnne on May 30, 2008 at 7:32 pm. #
It pains me, this fear of the library. I am so in love with ours that they get sick of my mug.
I second the good reads idea; also, I signed up for Powell’s books newsletter. I get daily recommendations – many I delete immediately, but some are gems.
You could check out your favorite author’s website and see what they have brewing or what they are reading.
More recent favorites: The Solace of Leaving Early (Haven Kimmel) and Broken for You (Stephanie Kallos). If memory serves me right, both are pretty clean and they stayed with me, in a good way.
by Lisa Milton on May 30, 2008 at 7:52 pm. #
I love Charles Dickens and will read him all summer long. My favorite modern author is Anne Tyler. You’ll never forget any of her characters. I also love recipe books and plan to read truckloads this summer. Good luck!
by Prudy on May 30, 2008 at 8:48 pm. #
Somebody Elses’ Kids by Torey Hayden. I read it for my Special Education course last year, and absolutely loved it. What kinds of books do you like to read? I read a lot of everything, so it’s hard to know what to suggest. Jane Austen is always good (Pride and Prejudice is my favorite) I also discovered a book last summer that I really enjoyed, called A Countess Below Stairs by Eva Ibbotson
by Jaina on May 30, 2008 at 9:06 pm. #
Kim, you are so adorable. Seriously, you are so endearing. Did you ever read the two by Khaled Hosseini? Kite Runner and Thousand Splendid Suns? If not, you must. And, fear not!
by Jenna Consolo on May 31, 2008 at 1:42 am. #
Everything I’ve read by Lynn Austin has been great. Generally it’s Christian historical fiction but NOT hokey or preachy and quite well done. (Historical fiction is my favorite genre!)
I’ve got a whole list on Goodreads, also. I think I spammed you into joining once, and didn’t like that it spammed my whole address book so I deleted my account, but I tried it again and really like it now that I know how not to spam my whole address book (just never give it your Gmail and you should be good to go). ;-) (Additionally, I hated that it kept spamming me, but once I figured out I could turn off all those e-mail alerts and change them to RSS feeds, that’s been better, too.)
How about “These Is My Words?” Despite the grammatically-challenged title, that was good.
Ooh! And I think you’d really like Rebecca by Daphne DuMaurier. Very richly written; just a bit on the creepy side.
by Beth on May 31, 2008 at 1:51 am. #
I understand the library thing. I took a book to school with me last year to read during those few down moments in the classroom. I read the first 2 pages, my face turned bright red, I slammed it shut and couldn’t put it out of sight fast enough and hope no student noticed. It was downright pornographic! I am now a little more leary than I was before when checking out a book.
I’ll be doing a bunch of reading and posting this summer, so check in to see what I am reading.
Right now I second the Fablehaven books, 13th Reality by James Dashner, Eye of the world series by Robert Jordan for starters.
by Sandra on May 31, 2008 at 3:41 am. #
I’m going to be the one to recommend the “Twilight” series by Stephenie Meyer. Now before ya’ll stone me, these are well-written novels. Meyer does a brilliant job of illustration with words . . .
For characterisations, I recommend the “At Home in Mitford” series by Jan Karon. Her novels are rich in character details . . . and hilarious to boot! :)
“The Tenent of Wildfell Hall” by Anne Bronte is a must-read. So are “Uncle Tom’s Cabin”, “A Tale of Two Cities”, and “The Chosen”.
I could go on and on and on . . . I’ve read some wonderfully fascinating books through book club, so if you want my list, you know where to reach me.
Oh! And I add my plug in for GoodReads . . . I really need to update mine! :)
by Kate on May 31, 2008 at 4:17 am. #
Recommending books (and movies for that matter) is so hard for me to do because we all have such individual tastes. I am one whose reading interest is all over the board – parenting books, the newest Alan Greenspan book called “The Age of Turbulence,” and then throw in some David Baldacci and some fun romantic fiction and I am a happy camper. I love to read to escape and to learn.
One thing that I have loved about our local library is the online hold system. I can browse until my heart is content on Amazon or the library catalog, I put on hold what I want and then it emails me when it is time to pick up. Fabulous! And since I have so many books on there, I can freeze what I don’t want right now and unfreeze them at a later date.
by An Ordinary Mom on May 31, 2008 at 5:01 am. #
Oh dear Kim. A few quotes come to mind:
“Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is.” – German Proverb
“Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.” – Dorothy Thompson
“Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is.” – H. Jackson Browne
As for books… I don’t know how much I can help you. I often read stuff that might be upsetting to you. I don’t know how horrible it needs to be to sit poorly with you, but I loved both of Wally Lamb’s books – “She’s Come Undone” and “I Know This Much Is True”. I thought they were both excellent, but perhaps a little upsetting. Read the jacket and decide for yourself. Great writing. Alice Sebold’s “The Lovely Bones” was wonderful, but again the subject was a bit upsetting. And “Life of Pi” by Jann Martel. Old news, but if you haven’t read it. Do. Just make sure you stick with past about page 100. It’s boring until then, but after that you won’t be able to put it down. Agatha Christie is always fun. And I assume you’ve read all of Harry Potter?
Anyway… email me if you like anything I’ve suggested and I could offer more ideas.
“Be not afraid of life. Believe that is it worth living, and your belief will help create that fact.” – William James
xo carolyn
by Carolyn on May 31, 2008 at 7:04 am. #
Hate the phone! Just finished reading The Giver for a book club. I’m scared to read modern titles. I love most things written over 80 years ago.
by The Lazy Organizer on May 31, 2008 at 9:48 am. #
Our library is awesome in that we have a great on-line service. I can look up every single book in their stock, read their reviews and summaries, and decide what I want to check out. I can also then just put them on hold ONLINE and then pick them up when they’re ready. No needing to wander the halls of the library, if it freaks you out. (Which, strangely enough? I TOTALLY understand. It is extremely intimidating, and I end up picking books based on their covers, which, obviously, isn’t a good way to get a book)
by Tracey on May 31, 2008 at 12:47 pm. #
I have found a newish author I adore. Sarah Addison Allen- I’ve read both of hers, Garden Spells and The Sugar Queen which just came out. Her books are magical, meaningful and lyrical.
by Eileen W. on May 31, 2008 at 1:36 pm. #
I hate the phone but love the library. :)
I’m reading “Half-assed” right now. I like it so far. I’m addicted to my Hungry Girl cookbook, but that’s not really reading as much as it is salivating. And…I’m reading the Mothering Heights anthology.
I would offer to send you my book, but it might just be a piece of crap.
by That Chick Over There on May 31, 2008 at 2:29 pm. #
I’m right now in the Salt Lake Library which is 4 floors of hugeness. The section I pass on the way to the restroom is of French history and language. It makes me feel so stupid everytime I look at all these books and realized I’ve only read so few.
And I’m so with you on the phone thing! I hate the phone–only my husband, my one sister, and Julie Wright can get me past my abhorrence of making phone calls. Email was such a gift.
Hopefully having more in common with me will not become a new thing for you to worry over :-)
Goodreads is awesome–aren’t you already on there?
by Josi on May 31, 2008 at 4:21 pm. #
Hey, Kimberly!
I definitely can recommend books. I’m a media reviewer for Families.com. Go to http://members.families.com/tristipie/blog
and scroll — I do movie reviews and LDS as well, but if you keep scrolling, you’ll find tons of good novels.
by Tristi Pinkston on May 31, 2008 at 5:03 pm. #
hopelessly addicted to the ladies number one detective agency series. it is goooooood. oh and neverwhere by neil gaiman – i just finished that and am annoyed i did. (finish, as now it’s over).
OOOOOH OOOOH OOOOH OOOOH – you have got to read shadow of the wind. i love that book so much i want to cut out the bit of my brain that stores the memories of it so when i read it again it is fresh and new. perhaps that’s a bit much. i have a crappy memory, so perhaps time will just erase the memory of it and i can read it again like it is the first time.
and for funny? you can’t beat yes man by danny wallace. he says yes to EVERYthing for 30 days (or something – a HA see that memory thing is kicking in WOO HOO!!! new read comin’ up!)
i’m in the middle of northern lights and am fairly loving that.
by holly on May 31, 2008 at 10:22 pm. #
I have the phone fear too. I hate the phone.
As for the books, get suggestions by people you trust.
And go ahead and take a chance. If you run into something you don’t like – it won’t kill you. You can stop reading and still survive.
by Anna Maria Junus on June 1, 2008 at 7:38 am. #
i must say that i have nothing to recommend, but i just added a whole bunch of books to my goodreads TO READ list from all of the recommendations in these comments. hooray! the best book i’ve read recently was a thousand splendid suns. it was such a well written book, but it was very, very heartwrenching and had me sobbing at parts. (i get affected rather easily..) good luck, girly and don’t be afraid!
by aubrey on June 2, 2008 at 6:45 am. #
I have an inexplicable aversion to the phone as well. I always have. I finally broke down and got a cell phone last year but rarely use it and only a few people have the number. And now my hubby is talking about getting us iPhones. Talk about a complete waste of $$ for me!
by Amber on June 2, 2008 at 12:14 pm. #