Finding Certainty
by Kym on May 22, 2008
I’ve been spending a wee bit less time on the computer lately. This? Is why…
I am freshly amazed by the beauty and vivacity of my darling girls. Their exuberance is contagious, their love is humbling, and the gift of them in my life leaves me filled with equal portions of wonder and trepidation. While I know that they are lucky to have come to a home where they are wanted, loved, and cherished, I often feel unequal to the task of giving them all that I feel they deserve from me.
Such feelings are made all the more poignant by the anticipation of a third child and all that will entail. The last few months have been trying in that respect, as my cycle has been skewed by stress. Right this moment I am five days late (just as I was last month), and chronically wondering what my own body has in store for me and our family.
I wrote to a friend recently that “uncertainty is crippling to the soul,” and there is some truth to that. It is so easy to get caught up in maybes and might-bes and forget to live.
The above pictures? Give me ample reason to focus on something other than what can’t currently be known. And reflecting upon that, I am filled with certainty, and with gratitude for what I do know. That my darling girls are a gift and a blessing to me.
24 comments
That was so beautifully written. I could feel the heart beating with love words as you typed. They are adorable and yes a gift and blessing for sure. So glad you found that ample reason to focus on.. Thanks Kim.
Nice blue in here.
by Jan on May 22, 2008 at 6:26 pm. #
I don’t know whether uncertainty has to be crippling … well, as long as you’ve got those certainties right there. So yeah. What you said. :-D
WAY CUTE PICTURES. Your girls are darling. I love that first picture of Becca, with her adorable smile. And the way they are hugging each other without getting each other dirty.
Crossing my fingers for you for this month.
by Beth on May 22, 2008 at 6:38 pm. #
Beautifully written!
And the girls? Such adorableness! Please tell me that I get to give them both hugs in a little over a month?
I pray that your ttc journey ends soonishly in a BFP! :)
*HUGS* and love to you :)
by Kate on May 22, 2008 at 7:16 pm. #
You, my dear, are brilliant. You always manage to capture my emotions perfectly … I will just live through you :) !!
Let’s see how I have been feeling lately:
“I often feel unequal to the task of giving them all that I feel they deserve from me.”
and
“It is so easy to get caught up in maybes and might-bes and forget to live.”
I feel like I have been living in limbo land for the last 31 weeks, wondering if things were really going to work out this time and wondering how life is going to change when this new little one comes. I often find myself forgetting to live and forgetting to enjoy any moments – I suppose pregnancy hormones are partly to blame as well as the overly gloomy Pacific Northwest winter.
Thanks for reminding me to be more grateful for all I do have, RIGHT NOW! I need to fully embrace and celebrate the amazing children I already have … quirks and spirited temperaments and all.
And as far as the waiting game goes, I despise that time. It is so hard to function. I hope you get some “positive” news soon … then we can travel this road together into the third child world … yes, I am selfish like that :) !!
OK, I shall close this novel now, but only after saying how precious your girls look.
by An Ordinary Mom on May 22, 2008 at 7:34 pm. #
This was beautiful. Thank you for a much needed reminder.
Course, My heart stopped when you talked about anticipating your third child. “She’s What?!?!?!”
“Oh, not yet. I get it.”
Love you!
by Dedee on May 22, 2008 at 8:42 pm. #
wait…are you saying there could be another beautiful baby in the world…!?
by Dapoppins on May 22, 2008 at 9:31 pm. #
Beautiful pictures. I hope things work out the way you want them too.
PS-love the new layout!
by Jaina on May 22, 2008 at 9:38 pm. #
Oh that was lovely. And it looks so pretty here. Big hugs to you my sweet, they are beautiful, and so are you.
by Jo Beaufoix on May 22, 2008 at 9:47 pm. #
beautiful new bloggy decorations. :)
lovely post. Loved the photos of your sweet girls.
by Corey~living and loving on May 22, 2008 at 10:39 pm. #
oooooh. yes, but i see in their eyes, a longing. “please, mummy” they say, “take us to see holly and the thrower and queen of hearts in wales!” they beg of you. it’s hard to see, you gotta look real close, but i know it when i see it.
OTHERWISE, COMPLETELY adorable. indescribably adorable. beyond the capacity of me to describe in words.
by holly on May 23, 2008 at 12:03 am. #
Such a beautiful post. Lovely girls and a lovely mother.
by Tonya on May 23, 2008 at 2:10 am. #
Another vote for adorable.
The new layout is very pretty too.
Hoping you get a postive test result soon, the waiting game is horrible isn’t it?
by Fooferoo on May 23, 2008 at 3:53 am. #
A sudden switch from brown to blue…I like it. Looks like a move toward serenity.
Your girls are beautiful. And so is your writing. And so is your certainty.
by charrette on May 23, 2008 at 4:04 am. #
They are so beautiful. Such light in their eyes!
by Leendaluu on May 23, 2008 at 12:07 pm. #
Your girls are darling! And what a great post… good thoughts to keep me occupied for the day :)
And the blog look? I like it… but, can I just say… it feels… um… winter-ish. I guess it just feels a little “cool” for such a “warm” fun blog – does that make sense?
by Melissa on May 23, 2008 at 4:24 pm. #
Awww,they are beauitful:)
I especially love the last photo.
Having children and watching them grow has to be the best thing in the world.
by Ms.L on May 23, 2008 at 6:15 pm. #
I hope you get good news soon. :D Cute girls- I hope for many more for you. ;)
by Amber on May 24, 2008 at 2:36 am. #
I love the pictures! And I love that you’re spending more time mommying and less time blogging. Well, not that I like “seeing” less of you, but I do think it’s better for the soul! It’s something I battle to remember every day.
by JustRandi on May 24, 2008 at 4:03 pm. #
Congrats. :)
by Chickie on May 24, 2008 at 9:01 pm. #
As a person who believes all fathers should be tender and loving and gentle giants to wives and children, I feel the incredible love in your syntax and expression.
Do let us know what Life has in store for you ….
by david mcmahon on May 24, 2008 at 9:57 pm. #
how adorable! and what a sweet and true message too. thank you.
by Hillary on May 25, 2008 at 2:23 am. #
i have just four words for you:
good.
on.
ya.
mate.
of course, if you count the first sentence, that’s eleven words, and now it’s like two dozen, but ah well. shutting up now.
by Nic on May 25, 2008 at 2:55 am. #
Beautiful little angels, and such a sweet mom – thank you for sharing!
I came over here thanks to David of “Authorblog”.
by Merisi on May 26, 2008 at 12:20 pm. #
Beautiful post ..
Keep trying and enjoy the doing .. let your mind go somewhere pleasant and I bet your body cooperates!
David sent me
:-Daryl
by Daryl on May 26, 2008 at 4:05 pm. #