I Love Him, But…
by Kym on May 11, 2008
…he bought me more plants to kill.
I’m at home sick taking care of a sick Emma, and he took his laptop to church with him.
And he didn’t change her diaper in the two hours he was up with her this morning and she leaked into her pajamas. Pee everywhere.
However, he did get up with her throughout the night and again this morning. And he smoothed back my hair and kissed my forehead when I came staggering back to bed in the middle of the night after yet another bathroom run. And he told me that yes, some day, in the not too distant future, our family would be healthy again. And he arranged for my Grandma who’s visiting to take Becca to church so I wouldn’t have two kids to watch today.
Not quite the Mother’s Day a gal dreams of, but I feel loved nonetheless.
I’m too tired to be eloquent today. Besides, there simply aren’t words, you know? My own mum is my shining example. She taught me so much about being loving, generous, and hard working. More importantly though she taught me about striving despite personal weaknesses. About having the grace to apologize after yelling. About putting aside feelings of exhaustion and frustration and pushing on for the sake of loved ones.
And she taught me that it’s okay not to have it all mastered at once. I still see her striving and improving, long after I’ve gone on to have a family of my own. It hits home to me every now and again, and I feel cheered at the thought. Being of an introspective nature can be as much a curse as a blessing. It’s impossible to hide from oneself. As I look at all that my mum has accomplished, I don’t feel that desire to hide quite as strongly. Simply put, she inspires me.
In a different way, my own children inspire me. Their love of life. Their energy. The simple clarity of their view of the world. I want to be more like them just as I want to be more like my mum. I think though that the best thing they’ve taught me is that I’m alright as I am. They love me not for my potential, but for the me that I am right this moment.
There’s something very heart-warming about that. I’m grateful to have a day set aside to think about my mum and about being a mum myself. I’m not much for cards and crazy big presents and all that chaos, but still, I think the idea of it is quite nice.
As I said, not feeling terribly eloquent at the moment, but I am feeling terribly, terribly grateful.
24 comments
here’s to inspiration! have a fantastic mother’s day.
by the MomBabe on May 11, 2008 at 8:50 pm. #
you are a rockstah mom!
wait – apologizing after yelling is graceful? oh YES!!! i am all KINDS of graceful! i was flipping graceful at least four times today. nice. perhaps at that rate, though, it would be more graceful to just not yell. i’ll *think* about it…
hope the lovely emma gets well soon. and stops peeing everywhere. the thrower has those days too. i used to have two pairs of birkenstocks…
by holly on May 11, 2008 at 10:53 pm. #
Happy Mother’s Day to an amazing woman!
I hope you all get healthy soon … and stay that way!
by An Ordinary Mom on May 11, 2008 at 10:58 pm. #
I WOULD congratulate both of us on being in good company . . . but let’s face it . . . being ill on Mothers’ Day is no fun at all!
*HUGS* And Happy Mothers’ Day to a wonderful woman! :)
by Kate on May 11, 2008 at 11:44 pm. #
bummer your sick, girl. but a very happy mother’s day to you nonetheless!
by aubrey on May 12, 2008 at 12:32 am. #
STINK! I’m sorry you’re sick on Mother’s Day!
Beautiful post, anyway, though. “Not eloquent” whatever. :-P It was sweet and beautiful.
by Beth on May 12, 2008 at 1:07 am. #
Your post was so wonderful! Thanks!
Sick? On Mother’s Day? I believe that’s against the law… well, it is here in the States ;) You should move. Preferrably to Southern California!
I hope you get feeling better soon
by Melissa on May 12, 2008 at 1:20 am. #
That’s you NOT eloquent? Good grief! Give yourself more credit–you can’t help but say it well. Happy Mother’s Day to you, Kim, even though it’s been filled with real life “mothery” things. I hope you’re all better soon!
by Jenna Consolo on May 12, 2008 at 1:40 am. #
Kim, you don’t need to be eloquent. I have to say, this is one of my all-time favorite Kim posts. It was so sweet, and real and tender and beautifully put. I guess it was eloquently simple?? It was like we were chatting on the phone, or something. I love the line, “They love me not for my potential but for the person that I am right this moment.” I feel that too. Today in Sacrament the primary sang “God sent me an Angel”…and the words almost made me squirm, because I’m not an angel. I’m far from perfect…etc etc…but children have a way of loving their mommies even on their worst days. I love that about children. Thanks for this post. I hope Emma feels better soon.
by Elaine on May 12, 2008 at 1:57 am. #
Happy, happy Mother’s Day, dear! I hope you all have your health back soon! And I must say you have more eloquence whey you are sick than I have on my bestest of days : ) (((hugs)))
by Erin on May 12, 2008 at 2:03 am. #
Happy Mother’s Day Kim! I hope you have a nicer week ;)
by Abra on May 12, 2008 at 2:32 am. #
Sickness is no fun. The plant is lovely. I would kill something like that in no time at all. I am actually a notorious plant killer.
I hope your Mother’s day was good and that you feel better soon!
by Heffalump on May 12, 2008 at 2:59 am. #
Aww. I’m glad you have an inspiring mother! That means you will be/are one! (Me mum taught me how to be a pirate, complete with swabbing the deck, pillagin’ and lootin’, and how to clean the parrot feces off your shoulder by glaring at it!)
Really. Hope you’re feeling much healthier soon!
by wynne on May 12, 2008 at 6:07 am. #
I hope this morning is a little better. Take Care everyone up there.
by Jan on May 12, 2008 at 2:50 pm. #
Happy belated Mother’s Day!
by Ms.L on May 12, 2008 at 3:14 pm. #
Being sick sucks rocks! We’re sick in my house hold too. I got a nap yesterday! WOOHOO!! it only happened because it was mother’s day and no one had the heart to argue with me over it. :)
by Julie Wright on May 12, 2008 at 6:25 pm. #
Happy belated Mother’s Day from one plant-killer to another. (He even said it was going to die when he gave it to me.) :)
And Happy belated Sick Day to me! Actually I’m mostly okay, but our two youngest kids are home sick today — they caught it from their cousins yesterday.
I have to echo the comment that you not being eloquent is still far more eloquent than most even aspire to. Hope you’re feeling better.
by charrette on May 12, 2008 at 10:14 pm. #
Being the Mom you are right now.
That’s an incredible thought.
I always want to be better or doing things different…but I’ve never stopped to wonder if my kids love the way I am right now. I’m sure they do…but it would be nice to know.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said “I love my Mom BUT I wish she’d….”
Maybe I should just love her the way that she is right now..and I’ll find it from my own kids.
Very nice…very nice indeed.
I hope you feel better.
by Brown Eyed Girl on May 12, 2008 at 11:13 pm. #
I’m sorry you guys have the sickies again in the house. I do hope it passes quickly.
I’m so glad we don’t have to have it all together at once because I’d be in trouble.
by Tonya on May 13, 2008 at 2:53 am. #
You ARE creative. I’ll look after the plants, while you look after the creativity.
Deal?
by david mcmahon on May 13, 2008 at 4:09 am. #
Well I think that was pretty damn eloquent for a sick person. Get better soon my lovely. We are a house of sick people too, but we’re getting there. It’s so annoying though. I just haven’t got time, sighhh.
by Jo Beaufoix on May 13, 2008 at 7:46 pm. #
stop being sick.
Did that help?
by Dapoppins on May 14, 2008 at 5:51 am. #
Not eloquent? Do you have a fever? Because your brain isn’t working right. I LOVED this post. I thought it was beautiful and eloquent. You inspire me! I especially liked the line “Being of an introspective nature can be as much a curse as a blessing. It’s impossible to hide from oneself.” Brilliant. I could not agree more. I’ve been seriously suffering from this lately. Too much introspection and not enough forward motion.
I hope you’re feeling better (perhaps when I read your next post I’ll know) and Happy Belated Mother’s Day Kim! You’re awesome.
by Carolyn on May 14, 2008 at 5:54 am. #
I often wonder why Mother’s Day seems to be the most stressful day of the year. Perhaps it is the rushing to church, my mom’s, hubby’s mom’s, and the fact that EVERY YEAR my kids are sick on MD. Ah well.
Great post!
Over from David’s.
by Kathryn on May 14, 2008 at 1:41 pm. #