An Inventory of Things I Am Doing Right (Parenting Wise), Because these are Things I Don’t Reflect on Often Enough:
I am yelling much less. In fact, I’m only yelling when it’s really appopriate to. i.e. Child about to run into traffic. Child smothering/strangling/on the brink of seriously injuring another child. That sort of thing.
I’m teaching my children to love music and dance. When a good tune comes on, they either get up and dance (and they have some pretty spiffy moves), or they sing along (often making up their own words, which I love!). Just last night Becca made up her own tune and sang “Mahmeeee, mahmee, maaahmeeee, mahmeemahmeemahmee, MahhhhhhhMeeeee!” I just about died from the cuteness. We often gather around the piano and I play like mad while they dance and sing.
My daughters attend church every Sunday. They recognize the pictures of Jesus we have hung in our home. They automatically fold their arms when it’s time for prayer, and Emma says prayers all by herself, getting very inventive in what she thanks her Heavenly Father for (last night, she thanked him for things smelling good).
My daughters love each other. They’re excited to see each other in the morning, shouting each other’s names and exchanging hugs and kisses. Emma may not like sharing with her younger sister much, but she adores her and protects her from outsiders, bugs, or vicious tickle attacks from Mummy and Daddy.
Emma and Becca have no fear. Sometimes I wonder if this is the best thing in the world, but I love that I haven’t passed my paranoia on to them. Emma will approach random strangers at the grocery store, tell them she loves them, and give them a big hug. We may have to talk about social boundaries/manners at some point in the near future, but for the moment I’m just delighted by her sweet, loving, and fearless nature. When they rode the roller coaster at the fair Friday afternoon, both my girls were grinning like mad and Emma was urging the coaster to go faster.
Pickles. My daughters eat pickles. And any number of other foods that I find immensely repulsive. I’ve overcome my pickiness enough to purchase and serve foods that I myself won’t eat. Emma eats her hotdogs with ketchup, mustard, and relish. I eat mine dry. I’m happy, and relieved, that my daughters have the hope of being more…well…normal than I am.
My kids eat pretty darn healthy. Whole grain everything. Chicken dogs instead of mystery meat. They love fruits and vegetables. They drink water instead of juice (juice is a treat around here). Now if I’d only stop snacking while they’re sleeping I’d be as healthy as they are.
We read. A lot. I’ll often walk into Becca’s room and find her sitting on the floor with a book on her lap, flipping the pages and chattering to herself.
I keep up with the laundry. We never run out of clean clothes (anymore).
I keep up with the dishes. We never run out of clean dishes (anymore).
We keep our house tidy, including the girls bedrooms tidy as well. When they want a specific toy, they know where to look for it. At a young age, I’m teaching my children the joy of having an organized home. As long as they don’t poke around in the office, that is (that’s a project for another day).
We have people over to our home often. I take the girls to playgroup at least once a week. They have an active social life despite the fact that I have a wee tiny very mild case of agoraphobia that would hold me back if it weren’t for wanting the best for them.
Okay, so I’m not supermom. I don’t take my kids outside enough (being the semi-hermit that I am), I can’t remember the last time I made cookies, and I spend too much time on the computer. But you know, I’ve come a long way, and there are a lot of ways in which my kids are “turning out right.” I’ve loads and loads of room for improvement, but when I take the time to focus on what I’m doing right, I don’t see those areas as “Things I’m Doing Wrong!” I see the next step on the road to becoming the kind of mother I want to be.
And it’s just a wee little step, really. Just one more step and I’m that much further along. It’s hard to take those steps without tripping if you’re focusing your attention on the end of the road. I think that applies to most aspects of life, not just parenting. It’s important to know what’s at the end of the road so you know what road to choose, but I know my focus gets a bit out of whack sometimes.
I’m doing a lot of things right. And a few more steps along, I’ll be doing even more things right. I look forward to that. I really do.
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20 Comments
I love this post! I love how you said, “It’s hard to take those steps without tripping.” I focus too much on the end of the road and what the ideal is and end up trying to take too big of steps in my hurry to get there. Thank you for the very profound insight!
ME too–welcome to the dark side.
HOw did you manage to get to the “not yelling” point? I needs tips, lady. :)
Good for YOU! I think more moms need to make a list like this one and stop being so hard on themselves ;)
GREAT list. It sounds like you’re a wonderful mom!
I’ve finally convinced myself that it’s okay to buy pickles and mustard for my loved ones as well. The essence of charity, I’m convinced. :)
Hooray for such a wonderful list . . . Go give your girls hugs and let them give you hugs back . . . cause girl? You deserve them! :)
I loved this. Good for you for recognizing your great attributes and not focusing on the little things you’re not doing. I don’t think any of us does this enough!!
Good for you! I am sure not the most perfect Mom either, but when I step back, I’ve got to admit that my kids could have it a lot worse!
I like how you’re happy that you’re not passing on “bad” habits you have to your kids, like fear and pickles (both scary things!). I think we always hope our children will turn out better than we do, even if we think we’ve done OK. I suppose that is the point of it all–to pass on what we know so that the next generation can be a little more prepared, a little better.
I love the post for other reasons, too. It seemed like it was an exercise in introspection, seeing where you have come, putting things into perspective, etc. That’s such a great thing to do, and it was inspiring to read. We should all take stock of our lives once in a while and see where our decisions have taken us. Hopefully, in your case, we’ll be happy with our present location. I suppose we’ll also be more aware of what needs to happen next.
okay this IS kind of creepy, but I’ve been thinking about something similar and planning a post on the subject. I’ll probably never get around to that post, because of 5 million other ideas in my head. and now I can’t, cause yours is the bomb diggity. There. One less thing to do!
My counselor (yes, I have one) said recently “Heather, you know you can’t make everything absolutely perfect in just one generation don’t you, it’s a long process and your making great strides.” HA! I had it in my head that I was going to change ALL the unhealthy stuff handed down to us. I was trying to get it completely turned into perfection. Silliness…
I AM making great strides and that’s a beautiful thing!
you know, i don’t have *any* pictures of bob in my house. it’s weird. i have lots of kid-art. i think that is bob’s influence….?
very often i find myself sitting on the floor with a book on my lap, flipping the pages and chattering to myself. i know now that it should be the children doing this. i will work on it.
*i* think you’re supermom! apart from the whole not-flying thing, and also, i don’t think you’d suit the undies-on-the-outside. other than that, you’ve got it!
i give you an A. you would have got A+, but you’re too critical of yourself. i marked you down for that. but, you could do some extra-credit…
I think you’re doing fantastic! From one mom to another… you’re up higher on the ladder than me… I don’t have to worry about some of it just yet (nutrition is less of a problem when he’s still drinking mother’s milk), but I have serious nervousness about how I’m going to teach him all the things he needs, and most of all, how to teach him to be NORMAL (if that exists).
And you have the right attitude. You aren’t getting all caught up in getting to the top of the hill today, and I think that’s a big deal. Bravo!
This is so great Kimberly. I love that you are recognizing the strengths that you have and are developing. You are an inspiration to the word change.
Have you ever read the book, who moved my cheese? I love that book about changing. Thanks for this post and keep on rockin.
AWEsome list. We should all do lists like these. On a regular basis! There isn’t such a thing as Supermom. It’s a MYTH.
You are a rocking mom and I think it’s great that you stop to take stock and focus on the positive. Good job!!
I had no doubts….you’re a great mom.
i’m so glad that you are looking for these things and seeing them. it is far too easy for us to beat ourselves up about what we’re doing wrong. just look at all that goodness. emma and becca are so blessed to have you as their mommy. and now you know that, too.
You are fabulous babe, and yay for the positive thinking. Holl’s right, A Grade Mummy stuff here, but you still need to aim for that A* and be nicer to you because you are an A* chick. :D
You are one remarkable mother!
Next time you are feeling down about yourself and your parenting skills, you best come read this post!
Now how do I unpickify my kids? They are incredibly picky!
A wonderful, inspiring list. You are clearly a wonderful mother.
Keep up the good work!
Those are some impressive positives. I love that you made a list to focus on the positives, you really are a wonderful mother, your girls are very lucky.