Keeping it Real
by Kym on July 22, 2008
There tend to be fads in this blogging world of ours. I try to ignore them, with varying degrees of success. I like to be a non-conformist. Not from a strong sense of individuality, mind you, but because in every other way I am thoroughly unremarkable. I have to find some way to be special and refusing to dance the Macarena and other such things helps me to achieve that.
I have a pattern of giving in though. I think that, in a fit of high spirits, I may have danced the Macarena at my wedding with a bunch of my gal pals. Details are fuzzy in my memory though (and I was sober, honest!). My refusal to read Harry Potter only lasted till book four came out, and my refusal to read Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight only lasted till, oh, about four days ago (more on that later).
When it comes to blogging fads, I alternately wrinkle my nose or think, hmmm…interesting concept. And the latter reaction hit me rather hard this week, so I’m giving into a trend yet again and doing a post about being real. Tossing aside the facade and telling it like it really is.
You might point out at this point that I do that fairly regularly. I can well imagine how often my readers cringe over my posts saying, “Ouch! Too much info, Kim! Too, too much!” Or something like that anyway. You’re probalby more eloquent than I am.
So here it is. A point by point list where I tell it like it really is. This is going to be pretty random, as I haven’t given this much thought. Ooo…that can be my first point!
1) I like to fly by the seat of my pants. When it comes to writing, anyway. I sit down at the computer, usually without the faintest clue what I’m going to write about. Yeah, you’d probably already figured that one out, eh?
2) I’m very hairy. I even shave my knuckles. And my big toes. I have to wax because I get five o’clock shadow on my legs. Curse my Slavic roots!
3) I put the TV on too much when I’m in a good writing groove. And my kids don’t get taken outside nearly often enough. I’m worried I’m crippling their childhood, but apparently not worried enough to change quite yet. This bothers me. A lot.
4) I get defensive if my parentings skills are ever questioned, because I spend a lot of my time questioning myself. I also silently criticize other mums to make myself feel better.
5) I say mum instead of mom because I like the way it sounds and I’m a bit pretentious like that. Deep down, I wish I’d been born somewhere in the UK.
6) I wash my floors about once every four months or so. I sweep and spot clean, but I’m lazy and rarely pull out the mop.
7) It bothers me when other people try to teach my kids animal sounds and stuff like that, because sometimes they get it wrong. My mother-in-law taught Emma that the microwave goes “Boink-Boink.” I got really angry over that. I sometimes get angry over petty things.
8) I don’t like cooking, or anything that involves trial and error really. It makes me feel stupid when I make something inedible so I tend not to be adventurous in the kitchen. You may pity my husband now. This is probably why I haven’t tried using the sewing machine Neil bought me a year and a half ago.
9) I love both my girls, but I get really upset and protective when Emma pushes Becca around. I struggle with this, and sometimes Emma and I aren’t as close because of it. I’ve recognized the problem and I’m working on it, but still.
10) I’ve spent the last month really confused about where I want to go with my writing. I’m wracked by alternating bouts of grievous self-doubt and glimmers of hope. I feel arrogant when I think I might be able to be published some day, and I feel on the brink of despair when I convince myself I never will and all the work on my book is for nothing (Chapter Nineteen is up now for those following along).
Summing it up, I’m afraid pretty much most of the time. Fears seems to be the driving force in my life and as most of my fears are irrational it’s a hard fight to fight. Despite the fact that I’ve found so much joy in overcoming some of them.
I’m tired of being scared to try. That’s about as real as it gets. That’s really the core of my life right now, what everything else is revolving around. I’d like to shake this off because there are far more important things to be focusing on.
So how about you? Tell me something that’s really real for you.
32 comments
I admitted to my therapist today that I have a really hard time with blogging. Because when I blog, it’s the truest true self I can be. And when people like that, it feels really confusing and scary.
That’s hard to admit.
by That Chick Over There on July 22, 2008 at 11:18 pm. #
I’ll just admit that I hate shaving. I’m not quite ready to admit just how often I do it, but I will tell you that the only reason I do it is because dh likes it.
by Eowyn on July 22, 2008 at 11:20 pm. #
Oh good God I hate number 2! I hate my hairy legs, and I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who shaves her knuckles. It was because of a stupid comment from some boy back in 10th grade, and I wish I could stop, but that just looks unattractive.
Something real…I suck at relationships. I’m incredibly independent and stubborn, which is good most of the time, but can sometimes cause problems in a relationship setting. As I’m currently experiencing. And it sucks.
by Jaina on July 22, 2008 at 11:24 pm. #
1,3,5 (derrr),6, 7, 8 and 10 are soooo me. And I wish you had been born somewhere I the UK too. :D
And my microwave goes, pip.
by Jo Beaufoix on July 22, 2008 at 11:52 pm. #
I could have written much of this post, except that I do enjoy cooking and experimenting with it. Oh, and I don’t say “mum” though I’ve always thought it was cool.
About the “taking your kids outside” thing. I used to feel really guilty about that when they were younger. They’re not normal, but I don’t blame myself for not doing all the painting/crafts/cool stuff every day, or pretty much ever. I think their weirdness stems from having us as parents.
Don’t worry, build a fence. Then you can let them out more often. With our dog out there, it’s pretty safe.
by Rebecca on July 23, 2008 at 12:11 am. #
I worry that my kids will never know how much I love them because I am just not very good at expressing it, and I have a short fuse.
I also think about dying a lot and have a feeling that I’m not going to live to be old and grey, as much as I want to.
by Heffalump on July 23, 2008 at 12:38 am. #
Let’s see here … my big toes are way too hairy (don’t get me started on my hairy chin), the TV is like a good friend to me (especially lately), and I perfectly relate to #4 and #6.
I often worry that I am not spending enough quality time with my kids. I feel like my life is more about finding ways to keep them playing and learning independently so I can get other things done. I feel like I tend to be extremely selfish.
by An Ordinary Mom on July 23, 2008 at 1:15 am. #
i’m twinned with you on 1) 5) and 8)
that’s a 33.3% match!
what is real for me. . . real for me…
i REALLY wish i would stop staying up so late, and blogging instead of writing the absolute cracking things i keep thinking of. the stories, the stories! and here i sit, blogging. i hate that! dumb bloggy brain! (me).
i need to cut me in two…
and i hate that i don’t live nearer to you. that’s really real. really really real. :)
by holly on July 23, 2008 at 1:35 am. #
great post. real about me…I’m sick of urban living.
by DesignHER Momma on July 23, 2008 at 1:48 am. #
UMMMM, so I real blog all the time because I’m not as cool and creative as you are. Also, you and my family are my sole readers so I freely disclose information, I probably should keep to myself. I have a writers block right now, I haven’t written (aside from blogging) since my graphics card blew up in March pretty sad. I shave my toes, and microwaves don’t go “boink -boink” Tell Emma, that’s stupid. I work waaayyy too much (I’m sure 15 hour days are right up there with drinks too much on the parenting forms.) I’m glad you clarified the mum thing because I was beginning to question where I grew up. Piper and I butt heads all the time but I’m trying to be better friends with her before she becomes a 15 year old statistic. I love your blogs! You’re awesome!
Cheers,
A
by Abra on July 23, 2008 at 2:30 am. #
I over analyze things sometimes. It drives me crazy. I always feel that I am upsetting someones feelings. Way obsessive. I need to chill and take deep breathes. Can’t please everyone my mom says.
Bummer.
Loved the real post. And am jealous how you can just type it out like that.
by Jan on July 23, 2008 at 3:35 am. #
I’m afraid of dying . . . not dying per se, but of dying and no one outside my immediate family going to the funeral.
I suppose on a more basic level, I’m afraid of not being enough . . . of not making this world better by my having been here.
That’s real.
by Kate on July 23, 2008 at 4:18 am. #
I have to say first off that #’s 2,3,4,6, and 9 are pretty much me…maybe we could just sign my name to the bottom of the post behind yours : ) I’m also afraid of commitment. Sounds terrible, doesn’t it? I like to be spontaneous and able to change my mind at any given time. I don’t like being told what to do or how to do it. And I HATE feeling like I have to live up to everybody else’s expectations and rules. I’m a people pleaser and I’m feeling like stopping that…but then someone might get mad : )
by Erin on July 23, 2008 at 4:43 am. #
Love the Realness. Love it.
I have hairy legs….haven’t shampooed Sugar’s hair in nearly three months, and I blog at work. The last one…is BAD!
by Corey~living and loving on July 23, 2008 at 5:55 am. #
Keepin it real, eh? Well, I’m not as brave as you, so I’m only going to list one thing… I get up, turn the computer on, do email, blog, facebook and then I just randomly wander around the Internet. Yes, I should be doing laundry or playing with my kids, but I’d rather look at random facts about celebrities or read about the latest diet fads. Basically – I’m shallow. Ouch.
by Melissa on July 23, 2008 at 6:01 am. #
1) I hate that I never have time to comment anymore, and that I read your posts and save them in Bloglines and think, I’m TOTALLY going to comment on that post, and then somehow I end up with 10 posts that I haven’t commented on, even though a lot of them touch me.
2) I don’t mind cooking, but I hate the whole planning part of it. I never have the ingredients I need, and when I’m at the store I can never think of a single thing to cook.
3) I ditto your number 4.
by Sue on July 23, 2008 at 6:31 am. #
The “real you” just HAPPENS to be one of my favorite people on the planet…
by Brillig on July 23, 2008 at 7:09 am. #
I have to add that I shave my arms. I started it as a fluke and liked it. I have really hairy arms, and now that I shave them, if I don’t, they look really spikey!
Thanks for sharing!
by Tirzah on July 23, 2008 at 7:18 am. #
my microwave goes ‘ping’. I have never heard one that goes ‘boink-boink’. Something real … I have really hairy toes. When I was ten my brother told me it was because I was a werewolf, and I’ve always been afraid he was telling the truth.
by belle on July 23, 2008 at 8:59 am. #
Well I like the ‘real’ you.
Fear also appears to be the driving force of my life.
I find it easier to talk to a bunch of people I’ve never met over the wonderful internet than I do the the people who are real in my life.
I spend a lot of time watching Star Trek.
I would love to write a book but can’t seem to make my imagination work that hard and don’t really believe I can do it anyway. So I settle for reading lots and lots of books instead.
There’s a few real things about me. ;)
by razzler on July 23, 2008 at 10:17 am. #
Oh… I also have hairy toes.
by razzler on July 23, 2008 at 10:18 am. #
You can blame yourself for only so many things…did you know hairy knuckles are a genetic trait like detached earlobes or the ability to curl your tongue (I’m the only one in my family who can’t)?
The realest thing about me…most of the time when I leave my house, my authentic self stays behind and I don’t know how to fix that. I’m still that new kid in school, hoping someone lets me be their friend.
by Melanie J on July 23, 2008 at 12:05 pm. #
i love this post…I’ll do my own next week after steamboat! love ya sista!
by Elaine on July 23, 2008 at 12:08 pm. #
I do the same thing. I f I see something show up on more than one blog, I won’t do it. Like writing. Stuff. Like. This. Or using words like “y’all” or abbreviated questions like “and also?”
by Memarie Lane on July 23, 2008 at 2:36 pm. #
I have Hobbit feet too. And I loathe shaving. And, um, apparently I’m the only person here with a crippling amount of cellulite. :)
It’s good to know that the lovely, ever-gracious and wickedly witty Kimberly has a few real factors. (Actually I think that’s one reason my MIL is so widely loved…she openly acknowledges things like needing to uncover the laundry room floor and feeding her hubby leftover pizza. Everybody knows she’s real. And somehow that makes it easier for the rest of us to embrace the fabulousness.)
by charrette on July 23, 2008 at 3:31 pm. #
maybe I should do one of these… oh and by the by, we are mopping twins.
by CamiKaos on July 23, 2008 at 5:33 pm. #
I didn’t even mop when I left my apartment in Illinois, just spot-mopped. A LITTLE. (Guess what: they didn’t care. I think I just lost whatever testimony of mopping I might have had.)
I am really feeling you on number eight right now…
by Beth on July 23, 2008 at 5:55 pm. #
Real for me is that I never ever make breakfast. I learned a long time ago that nobody in my house wanted anything besides cold cereal. So why go through all the bother for something people don’t even want.
I still feel guilty, though.
by JustRandi on July 23, 2008 at 8:38 pm. #
I’m with you on 3, 4, 9 and 10. And come on, you’re suppose to post the winning ego stroking comment so I don’t have to go find it. ‘Cause if we’re doing confessions, I’m lazy like that.
by Summer on July 23, 2008 at 11:29 pm. #
Let me make you feel normal now:
I only grow hair in one armpit. True story, n’er a hair in the leftie. No clue why.
I’m a total freak of nature.
It’s cool.
by heather on July 24, 2008 at 12:08 am. #
I didn’t know keeping it real was a blogging trend. I tend to keep it real on a regular basis. And so, I thought, did you dear Kim. (And that’s why I like you so much!)
If I have time I’ll post my own keeping it real list. Or I won’t. Now that’s keeping it real!
Booyah.
Look at me rocking the italics today.
by Carolyn on July 24, 2008 at 3:18 am. #
Scary how many similarities I found in your list..yikers…lol!
Okay I am on book 3 of the Stephanie Meyer series and I LOVE THEM.. I preordered book 4 can’t wait to see the outcome..can’t wait to hear your thoughts on those!
Have a great day!
L
by Louise on July 24, 2008 at 5:44 pm. #