I logged in to my secondary email address this morning and a very disturbing sight greeted me. An advertisement popped up over top of my inbox, two rabbits in full tennis garb volleying a brain wearing thick rimmed black spectacles between them.
Umm. What?!
Now I studied marketing a bit when I was at school and I actually did my final presentation on Objectionable Advertising, advertising that offends and/or annoys in hopes of making an impression. I drew some very well reasoned conclusions that spoke against the practice. I even did a fabulous slide show presentation and earned myself an A+. The revolutionary concept that angering and annoying people isn’t the best way to sell your product or service doesn’t seem to have sunk in quite yet though.
Almost more disturbing was the Sears Wish Catalogue this year. Usually I enjoy flipping through the pages and circling the presents I’d like to give to the loved ones in my life, sometimes using a different pen colour to note the ones I wistfully dream of owning some day. I didn’t enjoy my perusal half so much this year though, as I was too busy wincing and frowning. First there was the gift section, which has always been a bit silly in nature. I’ve been tsking over the products listed there since I was a kid (yeah, I was pretty much born old), unsettled by the junk not just produced and sold, but bought by members of our society. We’re mental. Nearly the whole lot of us.
What really shook me up this year though were the clothing sections. Now I’m no stranger to immodest clothing. It’s everywhere really. Heck, when I went swimsuit shopping at Walmart this summer I couldn’t find a single swimsuit for Emma that wasn’t a bikini. My religious beliefs incline me to be modest in dress and to teach my children similar values, but I try not to judge. I’m not going to sneer at someone over their low cut blouse or hiked up skirt, we all have different beliefs, different perspectives on things. It’s all good.
What is not good is that nearly every page in the women’s clothing section of the catalogue involved women posed in a blatantly seductive manner. Lower lips were pouted, eyes were smoldering, otherwise modest clothing was unbuttoned to reveal as much flesh as possible, but most of the clothing featured seemed to designed to leave nothing to the imagination.
I’ve written a letter to Sears to let them know that their catalogues are no longer welcome in my home. It’s smut and much as I enjoy drooling over the appliance section (oh how I dream), I don’t want it in my home where one of my children could find it. It’s such a struggle to preserve their innocence for any length of time in this increasingly worldly world of ours.
Not that I have any desire to shelter my children to the point of having them ignorant of the world, but I don’t want them learning adult concepts before they’re ready to understand them. I wrote recently about taking things one step at a time, building a foundation and proceeding from there. We need to do the same thing with our children, and I feel that so much in this world is designed to shatter that good foundation before it’s properly laid.
All forms of media seem to have good and bad extremes. TV, internet, music, magazines, apparently even mail order catalogues. I don’t plan to shut my family off from the world, but I do hope I can keep my eyes open enough to perceive the potential for harm in what I allow into my home.
Maybe bunnies batting around a brain seems pretty innocuous, but the in-your-face-ness of it is what really struck me. We’re given less and less choice as to what we’re exposed to, and it’s a very worrying trend.
For an example of the fact that there are things we can do about it read this inspiring post from my friend Rebecca at Becoming.
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30 Comments
Yes yes and yes. I am so glad that you wrote to Sears. I haven’t seen the cataloge yet, but you left nothing to the imagination on it. I got it. It is really becoming quite boring to me. This whole scene. I am almost loving the natural modest and back to basic toys and amusings. I am bored sick of more more and more. Thanks for your insights.
Great post. Reminded me of a class my SIL nurse took that dealt with advertising and how women are portrayed in it–almost always, women are objects. Note how often a woman’s head is cut out of a picture–she’s not even a person. And if she happens to have a face, she’s sexualized (like those pouty, sultry faces you saw). It’s truly disturbing. As a mother of three girls, I have a challenge raising them to see themselves differently than what the media projects. And as a mother of a son, I have to–somehow–lay a foundation that teaches him the value of women.
Good for you for letting Sears know how you feel!
I, too, am sick and tired of seeing what basically amounts to soft porn EVERYWHERE. I feel like shielding my kids’ eyes, even in normal department stores.
Oh dear. I’ll try not to type two pages, but this is a good one.
I live in the conservative Poland where you have to avert your eyes every time you see a billboard. Right now some store is running an extremely nasty campaign. It’s awful.
Also, when we moved to Poland I was excited to see Avon is sold here, at good prices, unlike all the other American cosmetics (a tube of maybelline mascara will cost you at least $20). I notice that the catalogs showed a whole lot of skin. I suppose they think it’s necessary to show exactly how you use that shower gel, which requires showing a woman barely covering the important parts.
One day we got a calalog that was much worse than the others. There was some new line of products and they had the models in some kind of sheer purple material. You could see pretty clearly from the waist up. (unfortunately we see lots of breasts here, so I’ve become somewhat desensitized, although it’s still upsetting). I turned the page and what I saw made me throw my catalog away and vow never never to buy Avon again.
I hate the double standard that in the States the catalogs were just nice, and here in Europe they are extremely risque. Although from what you say, they’re probably changing their catalogs over there, too.
A lot of times people think that we need to expose our kids to everything so that way they won’t go out into the world and be shocked, or not able to handle it. I think that rather we should protect our kids from things, and teach them how to avoid them on their own as well. (Sorry, this is a sticking point for me, because so often people think that just by exposing our kids to bad things it will help them somehow).
Good for you for telling Sears what you think.
It’s a battle every single day. Good for you in actually doing something about it. I’m afraid I get caught up in just talking about it way too often.
when I first moved back to Hometown, I was in the mall one day, and the Bootlegger had advertizing posters in the window of a sudsy razor and can of shaving cream. The poster said, in big, bold letters “Low Rise Jeans” (suggesting the rise was so low you’d need to shave your nethers to wear them). I don’t fit bootlegger’s clothing. Beaker does though… And we take our money elsewhere.
And the bathing suit situation horrifies me! I buy 1 piece bathing suits in whatever size I can find them in and stash them for Punkin as she gets older. I know you don’t have a Zellers in your town, but Zellers saved me this summer. Loads of bikinis :P but also a lot of 1 piece suits.
Good for you for complaining. Once I marched into a women’s clothing store in the mall and told the manager that since they were in the business of selling clothes, it would be a good idea if their models started wearing some! I get so annoyed at all the sexually-charged window displays and larger-than-life in-your-face posters, etc.
You’re a smart girl!
One of my beefs with the crazy world we live in is the extremeness (word?) of commercialism. I hate it. Great post!
Our catalogues over here can be a bit revealing (as you might remember from Miss E’s crimbo list) but people are quite careful about kids clothing. There is no shortage of one piece swimming costumes, and when a padded bra was bought out for kids Miss E’s age (8) there were so many complaints it was withdrawn. You’re right, we need to preserve our kids innocence and let them be kids as long as we can.
Have you been shopping for Halloween costumes?? Maybe it’s better in an area with a cool climate, but apparently the most desirable costume for girls 10 and under in the South is “hooker”. Even the princess and fairy costumes are nasty! We’re making our Halloween stuff this year…
Good for you for writing your letter!! I try really hard not to expose my kids to stuff like that on purpose! I know they’re going to see it, but do I have to be the one to show it to them? Our house should be a safe place from all the worldly crap out there…
You go, girl! Way to tell Sears what’s acceptable! It’s not right, the way the world is turning. Even if we can’t stop the flood entirely, we can stem the tide in our own homes.
Thanks for the linky. I feel so honored, my friend!
I haven’t seen the catalog yet, but I agree with you that advertising and clothing for girls is becoming more and more, well, slutty. I don’t want my little girl to grow up any faster than she has to, and I hate that I have to share her with another woman who, although she is Sam’s birth mother, thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to allow children to go to a bar or cut up t-shirts to expose more skin or call boys at 10 at night.
Yeah, I might be more conservative than other parents, but I don’t want my daughter to think that it’s necessary to expose flesh to feel good about herself. I want her to know that, although she is beautiful, she is more than a body and a face.
I admire you for putting your principle into action and letting Sears know your objections. It is already difficult to control what our kids are exposed to outside the home, we don’t need people making it harder inside our homes. We have the right and parental duty to make sure our standards are applied to places where we have influence starting in our very own homes. So, way to go sistah! Great post!
Has anyone but me noticed it’s near impossible to find a tweener dress that isn’t 6 inches above the knee? My daughter and I are having a very difficult time finding something that looks good and is modest.
I’m with you.
I have a friend whose grandma used to “just add lace” to everything. Neckline too low? “Just add lace!” Skirt a little short? “Just add lace!” We found ourselves commenting on that quite a lot but the kicker was the bathing suit issue. We were in the mall trying on suits and one of us commented on the immodesty of even the once piece suits (and yes, some years, they are a little higher cut here, or dip down a little lower there) before the comment was even out, one of us quipped: “Just add lace!”
A-MEN! Thank you. Great post.
i’m finding it nearly IMPOSSIBLE to find clothes that don’t make you look like a tart. it’s time to learn to make my own, i think!
I used to work in the advertising industry, and I tried to steer clients away from offense and vulgarity tactics toward more clever concepts. Winning my secret battle from the sidelines.
I was horrified, though, when I took my 13-year-old daughter to a bridal shower and she clapped, “Yay! They’ve got a Vickie’s bag” when someone presented the bride with a gift from Victoria’s Secret. I do not want my teenager on a first-name basis with that store!
I was interested to know if the tatas came with the clothing…cause let’s just say that none of those outfits would look like that on 98% of the female population in our country : ) I totally agree with you. I think it’s inappropriate and disgusting. Now we should get onto the subject of costumes…Oi!
Yet one more reason why I believe you are wonderful
I’ve been worried about how I’ll handle the world coming into my home… I finally decided I’d just take it one day at a time. Our homes are supposed to be refuges from the storms outside… how can they be if we let outside come in? Glad you wrote the letter. That took guts!
We don’t have tv in our home for these same reasons. When I do watch commercials, I never ceased to be amazed at how many products are sold with “intimacy”. I’m impressed you wrote the letter! It definitely needed to be said.
I have the opposite problem, or maybe the other side of the problem, since I have boys. How to raise them to never see a woman as an object or reduce her only to her sexuality. And I know marketing will be one of the greatest devils I fight. Thoughtful post.
You, my dear, have been….TAGGED!
*maniacal laughter*
this was a great post. It’s true… Marketing has become less about actual clever out reach to consumers and more about drawing attention the racy way. It’s like the eternal competition for a man, will he choose the secretly beautiful and smart girl or the slut named Candy?
Nice job, sweetie. It’s tough to keep those influences at bay, and it only gets harder as the kids get older.
Amen!
We are on the verge of the Juniors’ section. Oy VEY! I walked through the section, on my own, trying to think how to steer Lexi through middle school looking cute, but appropriate.
Should prove to be challenging…
Good for you for writing Sears! I always mean to do stuff like that, and don’t.
I never understood why, to sell clothes, they wear fewer clothes. Well, I understood, I guess, but I shake my head sadly at it. :-(