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Steadied
Posted by KymWhether you believe in God, the Universe, Karma, or nothing much at all, there are life events that speak of a greater power overseeing everything. That for all the evil and horror we inflict upon each other, sometimes someone or something steps in and pats us down. Let’s us know we’re not alone. Teaches us that no, it’s not coincidence.
I believe in God. A Heavenly Father. Who much like earthly parents watches his children do horrid and stupid things, or just falter and fall as they try to get the hang of this earthly life gig. I believe He holds himself back from reaching in and preventing all our sorrows because we have so very, very much to learn in this life. And we have our agency. We have the power to make choices and have an impact on our lives and the lives of those around us. God will not take that agency away from us. It would defeat his purpose for us in this life. Much as carrying a child through life and never letting them walk lest they fall, would be to defeat our own purposes for our children.
But sometimes He does reach out. Lifts us for a moment. Helps us regain our balance. Today has been a rebalancing sort of day.
It began with Neil leaving early for the dentist. He settled the blankets back in around me and gave me a tender kiss, wishing me a happy day. He may be a schmuck sometimes and hurt my feelings with his bluntness, but he is a good man and never does so intentionally. He is not malicious and his stark honesty is not a sign of a lack of love as I sometimes fear.
The girls woke up sleepy instead of bouncing about as usual, and they snuggled me sweetly for a good twenty minutes, offering spontaneous declarations of “I love you Mommy.” The morning yielded happy play. No screaming or crying as has been the norm the last few weeks. They played hide and go seek together for a half hour. There was much giggling. They pulled out their wooden blocks and built towers together. More giggling.
They are munching on apples right now, as am I. We had a healthy breakfast together earlier. I am drinking water. Being kind to myself. I’m able to read through the lovely supportive comments on my last post and realize that I have access to suppport and love here. Neil has not progressed to the point that he is able to offer that, much as I have not progressed to the point where I can offer him all that he might hope for from me. We are great big bundles of potential, and we can urge and inspire, or we can criticize. This is a choice that needs to be made every day. It feels good to realize that. I’m going to make Neil one of his favourite meals tonight. Service is his favourite way to be loved.
I feel like I’ve been steadied. That I was about to fall down into the deep dark again but have been caught just in time. It doesn’t feel like coincidence, though many would name it so. It feels like love.
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That was beautiful. I’m always amazed at the ways that God comes up with to lift us, whether it’s finding some quote long stuck away, or helping our kids have a calm day, or sometimes it’s the funeral of a much loved cousin. His love is always with us.
I’m so glad you are having a happy day!
Wonderful post, with an even better ending. Smile smile smile.
What a nice post…”It feels like love.” That is what it is all about, isn’t it?
Erin´s last blog post..The Bed Dilemma
A great post! Thanks for sharing your insights into the hands that so lovingly lift us!
Tirzah´s last blog post..Wearing
Wow — thank you for this reminder that even though our spouse might not be able to be our total rock and foundation, God is. I sometimes wonder why my husband isn’t stronger and then I realize, it takes someone stronger than a mortal to deal with me. :)
Tristi Pinkston´s last blog post..Whitney Award Auction
I’m so moved by this post, Kym, that I don’t want to say anything that may ruin this feeling, other than a simple thank you for the smile you’ve placed on my heart. :)
Beautiful, Kim. Just beautiful.
I feel so peaceful after reading.
Remember that not only do you have God, but since he can also work through other people, you also have us.
You are very loved!
Rebecca´s last blog post..Musical Me
What a great post!
:)
HUGS!!
Louise´s last blog post..
Thank heaven for those tender mercies that show is God really does love us, and things will be ok.
God and bloggy friends. What else do you need?
JustRandi´s last blog post..The Anti- NaBloPoMo
I like that: “being kind to myself” :)
It’s so good that we can have days like this to keep us steady. I’m glad you had one.
VirtualSprite´s last blog post..booking it
Beautiful writing, beautiful vulnerability.
Blessings!
Octamom´s last blog post..Lego My Leg-O
Lovely post.
I know the feeling, too. The way Heavenly Father helps you just when you feel your back is against the wall — and the way that it just feels like tender, unconditional love. It’s wonderful, isn’t it?
Hope your day went well. :-)
I’m glad that today was a steadying day for you! *HUGS*
I’m so glad you had a day like this. No coincidence, just God loving you and you letting yourself be loved.
Happiness.
Melanie J´s last blog post..It really is a circle. Life.
Aw, this is just beautiful. Bloggy friends are good, and so is God. *hugs*
Razzler´s last blog post..Introspecty Goodness
Beautiful and profound post. The one below this one reminded me of why I spend so much time telling my husband things like “You know once this firm belly is emptied of the creature that makes it firm, I’m going to look like the Pillsbury dough boy for a while. And that is normal. And remember, it took nine months to put it on, and it will take at least nine months to get it off.” Husbands love us, but their honesty sure can be breathtaking in a painful way. I don’t think I’ll ever forget my husband patting my belly as I was sitting on his lap and he said, “So how long do you think it will take for this to come off?” I can only imagine how hard it will be for him when he sees me post-baby and still in maternity clothes.
Anyway, all this to say that I’m in your corner, rooting for you, feeling like I can empathize a bit, and wishing we were close enough so I could go shopping with you to tell you how beautiful you are.
this is the best kind of post–uplifting, zero-fluff.
it seems like i learn a little bit more every day that love is very much a choice, not just a feeling. that i can choose to behave in a loving manner toward someone…and hopefully the feelings will follow, but even if they don’t, chosen love takes so much more strength (and is therefore so much more resilient–and rewarding–) than the kind composed of feelings that come (and go) easily.
thank you for journeying with me, picking me up along the way.
nic´s last blog post..perspective
This post made me smile. I’m glad to hear you’re boinging back up :)
Jaina´s last blog post..Holiday Navigation
Well said. I love the ending: “. . . about to fall into the deep dark again but have been caught just in time.” How often I feel the very same way, and I think, “Oh yeah, I almost forgot, there is a God out there!”
Thanks for the perspective.
pam at beyondjustmom´s last blog post..be a peace keeper
Oohhhh, this is so sweet and profound! I love those kinds of days when all seems right with the world and everyone is on the same page and things just flow. I hope it has lasted all day and into tomorrow!
Heidi Ashworth´s last blog post..Fame And Fortune And All That Rot
Here’s even more love for you, darling. Mwah.
Novembrance´s last blog post..The Party in My Mind
So much truth to that! Glad He reached out and that you recognized it..can’t wait for craft night tommorow!
Blessings
Erin
Dearest Kym,
Heavenly Father does love you. I know this is true.
Love,
Sister Molly
Sister Molly´s last blog post..Hiding My Light…
great post, dear. The praises have already been sung, so I’ll leave it at that.
Steph @ Diapers and Divinity´s last blog post..My only hope
Great post Kim. Inspiring to read and true every word of it.
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