One at a Time
by Kym on January 7, 2009
It’s hard to quell the panic some mornings. Rationally I know everything is okay. Manageable. I don’t have to give in to that overwhelmed feeling. I don’t have to lay curled up in bed a full hour past when I should have gotten up, not wanting to face up to the reality of the day. More sorting to be done. Dishes to be caught up on now that the hot water has finally been restored. Laundry. Scrubbing. The little business of child rearing. The unpacking is still not complete. There are mountains of paperwork squirelled away here there and everywhere.
As I contemplate all that needs doing I feel that panic rising. It’s like being suffocated from within. Someone, something, has taken hold of the windpipe of my mind and suddenly I am floundering. Gasping for air. Gasping for peace.
The tranquility of the last two days seems so emphemereal now. How to account for so rapid a change. I felt so strong. So capable. So optimistic. How do things shift so quickly? How can I be rational in the face of such irrationality?
On Monday I took Becca’s room apart. Unloaded everything from the closet and the bookshelves in the room. Dismantled the rod that held her few dresses and cardigans. Removed the shelf on top of the rod. Moved the bookcases in and loaded them up anew. Rearranged the remaining furniture in her room. Sorted through every single bin of toys and organized them. It took the better part of the day and had me sweating buckets. Her room, which is also our playroom/schoolroom, is set up as ideally as I can manage now. When I look in there I grin instead of wince. Everything has a place. There’s more space now for the girls to race about.
I did that. Me. The same me who is currently feeling overwhelmed and panicked. I did that in the space of one mere day.
I think I sometimes forget how many days are (possibly) in my time bank. There’s this feeling that things must be done now, this very moment. Maybe it’s tied into our society’s penchant for instant gratification, I don’t know.
When we returned from our vacation I gave myself the gift of time, and I started doing wonderful things with it. I began the process of taming the chaos of my house and life, one room at a time. After two days, two rooms, it’s as if I lost the gift I gave myself. As I look down from the loft at the Christmas decorations yet to put away, or to my left and see the stacks of STUFF and MISC and paperwork-that-hopefully-isn’t-urgent, the panic rises again. And I forget the gift.
I’m struggling now as I write this to find that gift. To grasp hold of it in the face of all my old habits and fears.
Monday was Becca’s room. Tuesday was Emma’s. Today will be our office. Tomorrow, perhaps I’ll clean out the kitchen cupboards. Friday may be the day to clean out the cupboards and drawers of our bathrooms. It doesn’t all have to be done now. I can live my life one thing at a time. Clean one room at a time. Live one experience at a time without the regrets of the past or fears of the future pressing down on me.
I’m smiling now, and bouncing a bit in my chair as the melodic strains of my playlist move me. I feel stronger for having written this. The panic subsides as I smile and repeat the cheery mantra over and over in my mind…
I can do it…one at a time…one at a time…
24 comments
I think we both need to post that mantra on our fridges or something. To remind us, always, that it doesn’t need to be done immediately and that time is all it takes.
I read last night, in a book, this quote; “I have noticed that time is always God’s”. It’s a profound quote that I’ve been contemplating since. Not sure it has anything to do with your post, except that it’s about time. :)
Happy days, and panicked days and days in between. We can do this!
Does anyone recognize this quote. (I really only expect one, maybe two people to get it.)
Eowyn´s last blog post..The Phone Rang. . .
by Eowyn on January 7, 2009 at 9:30 am. #
Somehow one day at a time isn’t that comforting when I think of how many days I’ll need to spend to get it all organized and DONE. I wish I could do it all in one day. But I’m impatient that way.
Annette´s last blog post..Today, A Tag
by Annette on January 7, 2009 at 9:50 am. #
It’s hard, isn’t it? I realize that I tend to think in extremes: either I play with my kids and my house remains a complete disaster, or I get everything done I want to and my children are neglected. I need to start thinking like you…one at a time, one at a time.
Erin´s last blog post..The Weirdest Blog Post Ever To Come Out Of My Head
by Erin on January 7, 2009 at 10:01 am. #
You can totally do it!! One room at a time seems like such a great way to get it all done. And just think, before two weeks is over your whole house is going to be clean and organized! I want to hear all about how you’re feeling then.
I finally realized one day that my house reflects me perfectly. The house always looks clean and tidy, but don’t look in the closets and drawers! It’s so much like my personality – I look put together on the outside, but I’m not very organized. Last year I decided to try keeping all my closets and drawers clean. Probably more than half of them stayed clean, but I really FEEL more organized. It could be in my head, who knows! Now if only I could conquer the laundry. :(
Nicki´s last blog post..Lazy Blogger
by Nicki on January 7, 2009 at 10:34 am. #
This is great. I am a real task scheduler. I do a thorough scrubbing of the kitchen on Monday, Vacuuming/sometimes mopping on Tuesdays and Thursdays, Bathrooms on Wednesdays and Fridays are meant to be for projects (like what you’ve been doing this week). It’s the only way I can stand to see things start to get yucky and not feel awful. Yes, there’s toothpaste in the sink, but tomorrow it will be scrubbed, so I’m okay with it. I’m not one of those who can just do everything every day! :)
LisAway´s last blog post..What’s the Word?; or Word to Your Mother (thanks, Heather of the EO)
by LisAway on January 7, 2009 at 11:14 am. #
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…
I find that I get burned out when I take on a major project, so it doesn’t really surprise me that you are feeling overwhelmed when you just tackled two in a row!
When someone is running a marathon, they don’t sprint it all out at once. They pace themselves so that they can maintain what they are doing. Sometimes they need to slow down a little bit to gain strength for those big pushes.
You don’t have to be perfect. Just find a pace and keep it up. The world won’t end if you take a day and spend it playing with your girls instead of cleaning. It’s wonderful the progress you have made, but it’s not a failure if you only do part of a room one day instead of the whole thing.
I find that looking at the whole picture of my house is very overwhelming…too much to be done. Just taking it one piece at a time, whether that is one room, or just one box of stuff to sort through, helps me at least to try.
Heffalump´s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Happy Birthday K!
by Heffalump on January 7, 2009 at 11:15 am. #
I took a whole week off, and attacked my house….back to work 1/2 a week and it looks like nothing was even done…………ugh! I have to come up with some solution!!!!!! Congrats to getting the one room done.
(I swear the laundry multiplys faster then bunnies!)
Kelline Boel´s last blog post..Yesterday….all my troubles seemed so far away
by Kelline Boel on January 7, 2009 at 11:16 am. #
Yes, you can!
Novembrance´s last blog post..The Thing with Feathers
by Novembrance on January 7, 2009 at 12:01 pm. #
Sometimes it’s so hard to remember to go one day at a time! A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, I subscribed to the FlyLady. She had some fantastic tips on keeping your home clean, but I was getting 10-15 emails a day!! Too much info made me feel so overwhelmed. But, she did say one thing that has really stuck with me… “You didn’t create your mess in a day, you can’t dig out in a day.” She suggested giving yourself a week for each room. Just a thought!
You are awesome! Keep moving forward – even if the movement is microscopic! :)
Melissa´s last blog post..
by Melissa on January 7, 2009 at 12:12 pm. #
I impressed you have already done two whole rooms in two days! Wow!
Breathe, be kind to yourself, and just keeping moving a long. Progress is progress, even if you are moving slower than you want. Don’t forget to ENJOY the process.
(And I like the quotes Eowyn threw in!)
An Ordinary Mom´s last blog post..A Little Debbie Giveaway
by An Ordinary Mom on January 7, 2009 at 12:58 pm. #
Oh, gee, I could only manage one room per week! If you did one room per week, it would be way more than I have done in the last six months. It does always feel like a constant struggle b/c, gol darn it! we live in our homes! The things we do quickly get undone, often by people other than ourselves, the ones who put it all back. I am quite sure keeping things tidy is a big source of depression and anxiety in women. We see it as our job (even those who work outside the home as much as their spouse) and if things are a mess, we feel like failures. I am old and decrepit and have mostly gotten over that. I still get excited about temporary bouts of ambition to restore and renew and declutter and clean, but I know better than to expect it to outlast my energy. It really is kind of a bummer b/c a clean and orderly house is so much more pleasant and less stressful. Many women manage it but it is kind of their hobby, you know? It’s all they do. They love it and good for them, but . . . .it’s not for me. Sad.
Heidi Ashworth´s last blog post..Hail, My Muse, The Chocolate Lindt Truffle!
by Heidi Ashworth on January 7, 2009 at 1:24 pm. #
What were you doing in my head today? Really? I have been dealing with the feeling of overwhelming panic and suffocation a lot lately. Then I realized that there’s no way this is ever going to happen overnight. I decided to tackle fifteen minutes at a time, read some at flylady.net when I get overwhelmed to calm down, and we’re going to plod along. I’m such an all or nothing person it’s disgusting.
So what we did today was take pictures of the kids rooms before our fifteen minute workathon, then take them afterwards. We all worked together, and even though their rooms are still disasters there’s a noticeable difference. They didn’t get frazzled, I didn’t yell at them, and they were able to see how much we accomplished. I told them that we’ll do this every day, and by the end of the week their rooms will only take about five minutes to tidy instead of several hours.
I’m going to do fifteen minutes in my room before bed. There’s stuff everywhere, I can barely make it to the bed.
We can do it. We can, and we will!
Rebecca´s last blog post..When Family Home Evening Takes an Unexpected Turn
by Rebecca on January 7, 2009 at 3:57 pm. #
Because you don’t have boys, you probably haven’t been subjected to the Bob the Builder, as I have, for three cruel years. So perhaps that’s why it leaps to mind, but as he says, “Can we do? Yes, we can!”
You go, girl.
Melanie J´s last blog post..Not puffed up
by Melanie J on January 7, 2009 at 4:01 pm. #
I get worked up about my ever growing list too (particularly when Beaker is home). But you’re right to tackle it one day at a time. And, uh.. take pictures and provide photographic evidence. ;)
Thalia’s Child´s last blog post..The Visitor
by Thalia's Child on January 7, 2009 at 4:15 pm. #
I hear you so loudly and clearly it’s deafening. :)
Heather of the EO´s last blog post..Decisionally Challenged
by Heather of the EO on January 7, 2009 at 4:30 pm. #
Good post, and all your comments are good too (I admit, you get so many I don’t usually read them all!) I often have to tell myself to just work on things a little at a time and eventually it will get done: one toy at a time, one dish at a time, one dirty sock at a time. I guess, for me, it has to be broken down more than just “days.” :-D
I’ve felt busy — nay, even productive — since I got back from my vacation on Saturday, but somehow there’s still a suitcase on the bedroom floor, yet to be unpacked and put away. But as of today I have groceries in the cupboard, and I couldn’t say that yesterday. ;-) Tomorrow I bet I get around to that suitcase! (I suppose I could be working on it right now instead of being on the Internet. Hmm.)
And FOR GOODNESS SAKES I’m so glad your hot water is fixed again! That felt like it went on for a long time to *me*, I can’t imagine how it felt for *you*!
by Beth on January 7, 2009 at 5:07 pm. #
That’s all we can do. Take it one thing at a time and one day at time.
by Tonya on January 7, 2009 at 6:23 pm. #
Well done you. I follow a very similar process, except that mine is one room per year rather than one per day.
Cheers
Maddy´s last blog post..Wordless Special Exposure Wednesday
by Maddy on January 7, 2009 at 7:37 pm. #
I SO know that drowning and suffocating feeling. In fact I avoided it entirely this break by NOT tackling the rooms that needed it, and by NOT even beginning to take down the Christmas decorations yet. I prefer to wallow in bloggerville. Thanks for a little camaraderie and inspiration. . .one at a time. . .
pam´s last blog post..revisiting parenting principles
by pam on January 8, 2009 at 6:55 am. #
Looks like we’re doing the same thing! I’m trying my darndest to get my house under control and organized. My deadline? Feb. 13 when I’ll have 4 siblings and their respective spouses and children staying here for an extended weekend. I have to remember to breathe deeply and know that doing something is better then doing nothing.
Amber´s last blog post..Real Estate is not in my future
by Amber on January 8, 2009 at 7:30 am. #
Ooh! Nice background! I have the same room a day goals. In fact I have a whole schedule set up that would let my house be clean at any given time. It worked for about a month before I started skipping days. Now the only room I’ve managed to continue cleaning on a semi-regular basis is the bathroom, which really needs it at least once a week. Good luck with your house!
by KieraAnne on January 8, 2009 at 8:57 am. #
I love the new template!
by Chelsea on January 8, 2009 at 9:46 am. #
Loving the new layout. And you’ve totally got it. Like a friend once told me, you have to move a mountain one rock at a time. And I think you’re well on your way to moving that mountain. :)
Jaina´s last blog post..New Year’s Goals
by Jaina on January 8, 2009 at 11:03 am. #
You CAN do it. One step at a time. One breath at a time. Sometimes that’s the only way to keep going.
by Summer on January 9, 2009 at 3:20 pm. #