My mum tells me I was a pretty funny kid. Never intentionally. I wasn’t a comedienne, per se, but still, I thought I’d share a few funnies from my childhood.
One day, my mum was making pie. She was up to her elbows in flour and…I don’t know, whatever you awesome domestic types make pie out of, and I was harrassing her for a glass of water. She kept saying “Not now” or “Later” or something along those lines, and I? Got tired of waiting. Crazy, eh? Me? Impatient? Anyway, I knelt down right there on the kitchen floor, folded my little arms and said, “Dear Hebbenly Fodder. Water now, please.” The really funny thing is, it worked! My mum shook bits of pie off her arms and got me a glass pretty much immediately.
Obviously, I was a very faithful little girl. My religious upbringing factored into my daily life fairly often. Sometimes, with rather embarrassing results. Like the time our next door neighbour won the election for city councilman. He had a celebratory shindig in his backyard, and being the curious sorts we were, my brother and I climbed up an old board we leaned against the fence and peeked on over. Disturbed by what I saw I shouted out, “Is that alchyhol? Hebbenly Fodder doesn’t want us to drink alchyhol!”
Alas, I really had the knack of completely mortifying my parents. During a stretch of time when my mum was trying to teach me not to make “personal comments” about people, we happened to be out at a local restaurant. In a pipingly loud voice I asked my mum, “Mummy, Is it a pursenal comment to say that lady has a moustache?” To cap it off, the lady gave my mum quite the dirty look.
Err…yes. Yes indeed.
So there you have it. It started young, apparently. The impatience, the nosiness, the tendency towards superciliousness, and the rather impressive talent of managing to say exactly the wrong thing.
You would think I would’ve shaken those bad habits by now…
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17 Comments
Ha ha! What a cutie you were! And are! :) So pious. So very, very pious.
LisAway´s last blog post..A Rule
A mustache! Oh, your poor mother.
Annette´s last blog post..About a House
Yeah, my parents used to always tell me this story about how one day I disappeared while we were at McDonald’s and when they found me, I was lecturing an old gentleman about why smoking his cigar was bad for him. I think I was four. My opinions have grown stronger with age, but I’ve gotten much better about the pathological need to voice them. Mostly.
Melanie J´s last blog post..Warning: saccharine overdose ahead
Haha! That first one is so awesome! And the other two are funny as well.
The only funny thing I did that I’ve been told about is:
My mom was teaching me how to do somersaults and after I did a few I turned to her and said, ” Can you do a mommysault?”
Get it? Summer – somersault. I guess I figured they were called after whoever did them.
Summer´s last blog post..Sudden Realization
oooh. you are adorable.
leendaluu´s last blog post..
Hee, hee! Thanks for the chuckle.
Becky´s last blog post..Put down the book and step away from the self-loathing
I love it! Your personal comments were quite entertaining. I hope your mom saw the humor!
Heather of the EO´s last blog post..The foundation of a dream
You were quite the adorable child :) !!
An Ordinary Mom´s last blog post..Baby Essentials
And now you have too daughters–I imagine you better understand your mother’s embarrassment more and more all the time :-)
Josi´s last blog post..Worldwide Ward Cookbook
i would argue about not being a commedienne. you should totally take that on the road.
i love that you sweetly addressed ‘hebbenly fodder’, but then ordered him to get water. niiice.
and yeah, that capitalization thing was just never going to go very far, was it…
Of course you have shaken those bad habits! At least in blogdania. My Big Guy once spotted some neighbors coming back from the complex swimming pool on a Sunday. He went right up to them (we were out for a lovely Sunday walk) and asked “Why don’t you love my brother?” since he didn’t have a brother, they were very confused. Of course he meant Jesus. Charming.
Heidi Ashworth´s last blog post..How Do You Blog?
Oh. My. Gosh. These are hilarious and just the pick-me-up I needed today. I frequently record my children’s funnies but you inspired me to contact my parents and see if they remember any of mine.
Amber’s Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck´s last blog post..Updates from the leper colony
How funny and adorable!
Rebecca´s last blog post..*Waves Timidly* Anyone Still There?
Pwweeeese, pweese tell me your going to enter my foot in mouth contest?!
How funny! I have a brother who had issues on the personal comment thing….
Kelline Boel´s last blog post..Monday Morning
I think ladies with mustaches need to expect to have small children make comments. Punkin noticed a mustache on someone the other day and kept calling the woman a man (or in punkin speak, the ‘lady’ was a ‘guy’). Everytime I corrected her she would say ‘no Mommy, beard!’
Thalia’s Child´s last blog post..Princess Diaries: the final chapter
Oh so cute. You do know Emma and Becka will be doing payback don’t you? :D
Jo Beaufoix´s last blog post..Please let it be nothing