A Mother’s Worth « Temporary? Insanity

A Mother’s Worth

by Kym on March 30, 2009

It isn’t the cleanliness of the home. I’ve ruled that out with four years of solid experimentation. My childrens happiness is unaffected by the level of dust and grime, the size of the laundry pile, or the number of dishes in the sink. My research has been fairly extensive, and I can speak quite authoritatively on the subject.

I have even discovered that my four year old is enchanted by cobwebs. Who knew?

Now, there is some correlation between a well tended home and a mother’s happiness level and that, I have found, does impact the happiness of the children. Truly, it was a wise soul who once said, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” Alas, the virtues of having a clean, or at least well ordered home, cannot be completely dismissed.

However, other factors seem to be far more influential. Love and laughter, kind voices and sweet words, books and games. Music seems to matter a very great deal, I’ve found. The right music can invite a happy feeling into the home, inspiring smiles, dancing, singing…yes, music is powerful indeed.

Touch. Hugs and cuddles and kisses. I held my daughter in my arms one day, stroking her hair as I read her a story. She looked up at me suddenly and said, “Mommy? My heart just growed!” Exactly, sweetheart, exactly right. I need to read to her more.

There is little meaning in the standards the parenting books hold us to. How long they keep their bottle or pacifier. Whether they sleep in their own bed or in our arms. All those niggly little things we find ourselves judging each other over. The worth of a mother has little to do with such things. Love does not come through following rules and guidelines. Love comes through loving.

A mother’s worth lies in her love. In her caring and concern, her worries and fears. It lies in her heart, which is sometimes stretched beyond our ability to comprehend. It sometimes aches, cracks, or breaks in the face of things she cannot change.

Supermom is not the one with complete mastery over the domestic chaos that afflicts so very many of us. Supermom is the woman with the hurting heart, who yearns and strives to give her children the gift of her love.

Nothing else compares. Nothing else matters in the face of that.

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29 comments

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by Anonymous on March 30, 2009 at 2:36 am. #

This is so true. Just right now my house is a wreck, but my kids couldn’t be happier. And yet if I myself gets upset? The whole mood of the family changes in an instant. Thanks, Kimberly.

(Plus, you never did a follow up after your, “I’m five days late” post. Is there a follow up? Is this not the right question to be asking right now? If it isn’t, just ignore this whole parenthesis.)

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by Thora on March 30, 2009 at 4:40 am. #

Amen to that hun . . . very well stated! *HUGS*

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by Kate on March 30, 2009 at 5:09 am. #

There’s a BIG lump in my throat. This was just so beautiful. Beautiful truth!

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by Heather of the EO on March 30, 2009 at 5:22 am. #

“Mommy? My heart just growed!” That is so darling. Thanks so much for your reflections on what really makes their little hearts grow!

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by LisAway on March 30, 2009 at 5:42 am. #

So true. In fact I was just thinking about this yesterday in a Mary and Martha context, and I’ve been drafting a post about it in my head. We get confused about what matters most.

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by Steph at D&D on March 30, 2009 at 6:12 am. #

THere are all those voices in our heads as mothers! So good that you have the kind of kids who speak up and make knowing which voice to follow so much easier!

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by Heidi Ashworth on March 30, 2009 at 7:05 am. #

Amen.

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by Annette on March 30, 2009 at 7:36 am. #

Yup. It’s far more important to teach your children their value than to worry about cobwebs

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by Thalia's Child on March 30, 2009 at 7:58 am. #

Beautifully said!

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by JustRandi on March 30, 2009 at 8:55 am. #

Beautiful Kim! You’re such a good mom :) And that last recipe made me really hungry… I’m starving right now.

by Abra on March 30, 2009 at 9:15 am. #

Lovely.

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by Stephanie Snowe on March 30, 2009 at 9:29 am. #

Thanks Kim! I really needed that today.

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by KieraAnne on March 30, 2009 at 9:37 am. #

What a beautiful post, Kim. Well done. If they ask me to speak on Mother’s Day (Which they won’t because they don’t believe in that kind of stuff) I’m using this!

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by Eowyn on March 30, 2009 at 10:34 am. #

I needed to hear this today, so badly. Thank you so much. My heart just growed too.

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by L.T. Elliot on March 30, 2009 at 10:44 am. #

Awww, Kim. This is so gorgeous. And this part: “All those niggly little things we find ourselves judging each other over.” It makes me want to do better– both in the way I treat myself (the deluge of guilt I often find myself swimming in) or all the other mothers in my circle of acquaintances. Such a great post!

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by Brillig on March 30, 2009 at 11:26 am. #

Insightful!! A mother’s worth really does lie in the love she shares with her children!! I love it!

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by Tirzah on March 30, 2009 at 11:44 am. #

Awww…I’m going to go read to my kids right now!

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by Erin on March 30, 2009 at 11:54 am. #

Very well written and so very true. Nothing makes my child happier than whan I lay in the floor and color with him. It truly is the little things.

by Tonya on March 30, 2009 at 4:31 pm. #

So beautiful and well written Kym!

by Summer on March 30, 2009 at 7:11 pm. #

Amen, amen and AMEN!

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by Heffalump on March 30, 2009 at 8:52 pm. #

I love that, “my heart just growed”. How precious. Sounds like you’ve got it right :)

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by Jaina on March 31, 2009 at 10:18 am. #

“My heart just growed”. (: This is one of the best post I’ve read. I’m glad I found your blog today.

by Debbie Davis on March 31, 2009 at 11:26 am. #

hear, hear. you are one insightful, amazing woman (and mama).

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by nic on March 31, 2009 at 2:46 pm. #

Perfect. Simply perfect!

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by Melissa on March 31, 2009 at 10:14 pm. #

um…my heart doesn’t hurt…am i doing something wrong?

i agree with the love and laughs and music and hugs and cuddles and stuff though. we have exactly 30 minutes of that stuff a day or everyone gets grounded.

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by Zerilda The Superfluous Blogger on April 2, 2009 at 3:52 pm. #