Tick-Tock « Temporary? Insanity

Tick-Tock

by Kym on March 26, 2009

My period is five days late. Intellectually, I know that this means nothing. It’s been later. Five days is a minor aberration in the whole big scheme of things. But my mind is a whirrin’. Could I be?

We’ve been trying for over a year now. We have become grateful for the time we’ve had with our two girls on their own before the chaos of a new baby swirls in. It has felt right, and though saddened each month when we discover that no, the time has not yet come, we feel peaceful about it. I call this the influence of the spirit. The Holy Ghost. The Comforter. We feel comforted, and are aware of what a blessing that is.

This last round, we opted not to try. First the flu struck, and then we realized a Christmas baby was a possibility. There are worse things than having your birthday around Christmas, but we already have a few family members whose special days get swallowed up during that time of year. We laughed a little after I asked, “Do we love our future child enough not to do that to them?” So we didn’t really try. Except…err…once. Yes. Just once.

And so, my mind continues to whirr. How crazy would it be if after a year of trying the one month we didn’t try was it? And if, after a miscarriage last summer, our third child arrived at Christmas? A gift beyond compare?

It seems too neat an ending.

I don’t know whether to be more scared by my hopes beginning to soar, or my fear that we will begin the journey of hope and joy once again…only to have it end the way it did last summer. All I know for certain is that I’m scared and confused.

And hopeful. Cursedly hopeful.

Dang. I have no chocolate in the house.

A welcome distraction from all the above is a new site I’ve launched called A Template a Day where I’m posting one template a day (alternating between blogger and wordpress). I’m gathering those templates I find aesthetically pleasing, unique or interesting, and sharing them there. I’d love to reach a wider audience so please spread the word. Many thanks!

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19 comments

Oooo, I really like this template! And I LOVE the one on your A Template a Day. That is such a great idea. I’ll be changing mine some day soonish, here, and I’ll certainly be looking through those.

I’m all excited for you being late. I’m hoping to be late one of these months in the not too distant future, too. And if it actually does come late, don’t worry. One day you’ll be thinking your late and then find out you weren’t just late after all. (love that!)

by LisAway on March 26, 2009 at 1:27 am. #

All I have are big hugs and heartfelt prayers to offer. xoxoxox

I love this template, too. Going to see your new site….

Novembrance´s last blog post..The Answer is No

by Novembrance on March 26, 2009 at 2:17 am. #

*HUGS* You know we’re praying for you in that vein . . . and that I understand this entire post . . . and the feelings you’re going through . . . secondary infertility SUCKS! I hope you’re not late . . . but that this is your month . . . please let us know *HUGS*
Love the new digs! :)

Kate´s last blog post..GAH!

by Kate on March 26, 2009 at 5:14 am. #

That whole waiting game is tricky. Hopefully this ride has a happy ending. Thanks for sharing the journey.

Steph at D&D´s last blog post..Get your limerick groove on.

by Steph at D&D on March 26, 2009 at 6:03 am. #

Ooh, crossing my fingers for you….!

Melanie J´s last blog post..More answers

by Melanie J on March 26, 2009 at 6:41 am. #

I’m crossing my fingers for you and winging a prayer! I hear you. We’ve been trying for almost 3 years and nothin’ yet. Hopefully, this will be your month!

BTW, Love the new template. It’s very “eye-pleasing” and fun textures too. (Not that I can feel them. But it does make me want to try!)

L.T. Elliot´s last blog post..Validation

by L.T. Elliot on March 26, 2009 at 6:45 am. #

Wait, so did you take a pregnancy test?? (I wouldn’t be able to wait and post a whole blog post if I thought maybe I was pregnant — well, unless I didn’t have a test or something.)

I remember finding out I was pregnant with Logan during General Conference weekend. He’s an earlyish December baby (due date was Dec. 5) and I rather like it. I got to enjoy a newborn at Christmas (very neat, causing me to reflect on Christ’s birth in a new way) and it’s early enough in the season that his birthday and Christmas are quite separated (well, it *does* kind of feel like December’s one long party, but that’s not so bad). ;-)

Crossing my fingers for you!! Oh, I hope this is it! :-D

by Beth on March 26, 2009 at 6:51 am. #

Prayers for you!

Eowyn´s last blog post..Refracted Music

by Eowyn on March 26, 2009 at 8:24 am. #

Ok, keep us posted!!

And I love this template! Very calming.

JustRandi´s last blog post..Somebody Wanted a Day Off

by JustRandi on March 26, 2009 at 8:33 am. #

Okay, now wait. Are you and I the same person? No, you have two girls. I have two boys. And we haven’t been trying for a year, but the Spirit has told us within the last month that it’s time. I’ve been thinking about the possibilities of a Christmas baby too.

And I’m really excited to go check out A Template a Day. I’m on my way there…

Erin´s last blog post..Day Six (and last day) in Paris

by Erin on March 26, 2009 at 8:53 am. #

I’m hoping it’s good news! Are you taking a test soon? I never went 6 days without it without being pregnant–except the time I had the flu really badly, it delayed it by over a week. Let me know asap! I’m excited for you!

Rebecca´s last blog post..Tidbits

by Rebecca on March 26, 2009 at 9:40 am. #

As much as I’m sure Punkin will hate us in years to come, we love having a christmas baby. That said, Punkin wasn’t actually due at christmas, so…

Thalia’s Child´s last blog post..The Universal Awesome of Children

by Thalia's Child on March 26, 2009 at 10:12 am. #

How did I miss the fact that you had a miscarriage last summer? I must not have known you yet . . .anyway, so sorry! I have had one though my sisters and mom have had many. It’s emotionally very hard and I can see why you are worried about that. Hoping for the best (whatever that is!)

Heidi Ashworth´s last blog post..Miss Delacourt Has Her Portrait Painted

by Heidi Ashworth on March 26, 2009 at 11:30 am. #

Here’s hoping for you!

by Abra on March 26, 2009 at 11:49 am. #

I have two December babies. They’re great. And how you have not already taken 5 tests is beyond me.

MomBabe´s last blog post..Not-so Tuesday Confessional

by MomBabe on March 26, 2009 at 11:53 am. #

Sigh. Been there, done that.

And DUH – just do a test.

by Rebecca - That Girl from Brazil on March 26, 2009 at 12:06 pm. #

HI Sweet Lady!! was missing you so I popped by to get a least a wee glimpse in the happenings of you. I missed you on Tuesday!

oh little babies…they seem to come when we need them (not so much when our wants are dominant)…often when our plans shift focus…go figure. and yes, take a test!!

much love!

Jenn´s last blog post..~Goodnight Sweetheart, Goodnight~

by Jenn on March 26, 2009 at 7:29 pm. #