Stupidity, Thy Name is Kim
by Kym on May 7, 2009
I get a bit of flack sometimes for not being terribly nice to myself. I’ve had friends valiantly champion my right to such niceness, sometimes expressing gentle concern, sometimes teasing or outright chiding me.
What they don’t know is something I’m going to give you a wee peek at today. That is, the stupidity that is Kim. You may scoff. You may think, hey, we all have stupid moments. But alas, mine is not a life speckled by sporadic stupidity, mine is a life speckled by brief moments wherein I am not.
Very brief.
Despite at one point in my life being a very successful and efficient office manager for a busy retail store, I can’t seem to manage the same at home. It’s like paper has become my kryptonite or something. The $250 cheque Neil’s aunt gave us for Christmas? Lost. The letter from a dear friend – too long unanswered. The bills? Err . . . yes . . . the bills . . .
Yesterday I went to grab a quick shower before heading to town because once again I’d allowed the contents of our fridge to dwindle to a worrying low amount. I stepped in to the shower, then immediately stepped out again. It was freezing cold. Further investigation lead me to discover that our gas had been shut off. I scrambled like mad and got it all sorted out – after a $60 reconnection fee and a $600 security deposit.
I then noticed that my computer was running a little sluggishly. Perhaps time to delete some extraneous files, I thought. So I sorted through the pictures from Neil’s brother’s wedding. The wedding pictures in which, though ten pounds lighter than I am now, I looked especially hideous. By the end of this I was nearly in tears.
It didn’t help that I’d been so sick the two days previously and hadn’t showered (stupid move, that), and that with no hot water till the gas man came later in the day, didn’t have the option to. I felt fat, gross, and incompetent. You see? I really do do this to myself, don’t I?
And then, unable to face up to anyone or anything, I spent the rest of the day reading a book and playing with the kids off and on rather than actually accomplishing anything. So, at the end of my rather rotten day, I had that horrid feeling of having wasted my time and not done much of anything.
Stupid.
I’m almost grateful now though, to have had such a day of concentrated stupidity. Because far from drawing it into myself and morosely accepting that this is who I am, I am feeling propelled to fight the trend of years and strive to be better. I can already look back at a stupider version of myself and think I’ve come a long way, and today, up early enough to see the sun rise, I feel this strange burgeoning hope within that compels me to be optimistic.
I don’t have to be stupid. It is a choice. Nothing more. Nothing less.
First choice? Arrange pre-authorized payments on all our accounts. Oi.
22 comments
Hey, I don’t think a day reading a book and playing with the kids signifies no accomplishment. Sometimes, taking the time to rest and play with our kids is the hardest thing to make ourselves do.
by Summer on May 7, 2009 at 6:37 am. #
Honey, I’m hugging you across the miles. And I agree with Summer.
Novembrance´s last blog post..Stay on Target…Almost There…
by Novembrance on May 7, 2009 at 7:10 am. #
Isn’t it all about starting again? That cheesy “Get up and win the race” poem.
Love you.
Eowyn´s last blog post..The Mote and the Beam, or Judge Not 3
by Eowyn on May 7, 2009 at 8:00 am. #
I love automatic payments – we recently found out we hadn’t paid our electric bill in three months, because I thought we had set up automatic payments, but apparently we hadn’t. Luckily I found this out before our electricity went off.
Besides, when you’re pregnant, you’re not being stupid – you’re growing a baby. That’s my excuse for everything when I’m pregnant.
By the way, I like the new layout a lot.
Thora´s last blog post..Someone’s In the Kitchen With Thora
by Thora on May 7, 2009 at 10:42 am. #
This reminds me of the argument Jerry and George had over who was stupider. George won.
Honest, we all have our stupid moments. It’s called being human! (And you have an even better excuse–pregnancy brain!)
by Annette on May 7, 2009 at 10:57 am. #
We won’t talk about how many bills I’ve paid late… it’s a sad number, really! You know… I used to think that spending a day reading a book was rather wasteful, but I don’t any more. There’s nothing wrong with taking some time to relax and be good to yourself. Not stupid at all…
Melissa´s last blog post..
by Melissa on May 7, 2009 at 1:53 pm. #
I have totally spaced so many bills I put exactly everything on auto-pay. If someone messes with my system and actually sends me a bill expecting a check in return, I get all flustered.
That said, there is nothing stupid about reading a book, relaxing, taking care of yourself. Personally? I’m glad you decided to put your feet up for a change!
charrette´s last blog post..Sing Me to Sleep
by charrette on May 7, 2009 at 2:58 pm. #
Um, I do this all the time. Which probably won’t make you feel better. And I’m not even pregnant yet.
Melanie J´s last blog post..THIS flu steals swine flu’s lunch money.
by Melanie J on May 7, 2009 at 4:01 pm. #
I’m horrible with bills… I am ALWAYS forgetting something :)
by Abra on May 7, 2009 at 4:47 pm. #
Gosh, I feel so totally normal right now. Thank you :)
by Heather of the EO on May 7, 2009 at 5:00 pm. #
I pay all my bills online now and it makes things so much easier. We all have those moments and then we get up and try to do better. You’re so good at so many things so don’t forget those when you’re feeling like that.
P.S. Love the new look of your blog. It’s quite possibly my very favorite.
by Tonya on May 7, 2009 at 5:32 pm. #
My stupid moment of the day? Did my daughter’s hair up all crazy for Crazy Hair Day at gymnastics, only to realize it was actually last week.
Amber´s last blog post..Why everybody needs a Bode in their life
by Amber on May 7, 2009 at 7:48 pm. #
There is really nothing I hate more than bill paying. Seriously. Someone around here forgot to pay the cable bill last month and we got a threatening letter in the mail before realizing it. But spending time with your kids is never wasted. Keep your chin up. We are all stupid!
Kazzy´s last blog post..back in the saddle
by Kazzy on May 8, 2009 at 4:37 am. #
This too shall pass.
What book did you read?
That Girl in Brazil´s last blog post..Adding Insult to Itch
by That Girl in Brazil on May 8, 2009 at 6:40 am. #
Automatic payments are definitely the way to go. I’m sorry you had a rough day. I hope you have a fabulous weekend to make up for it!
Jaina´s last blog post..Update on Dave’s Condition
by Jaina on May 8, 2009 at 2:10 pm. #
Never, never call yourself stupid! You’re fabulous and wonderful and I utterly ADORE THE HECK OUT OF YOU! Some days are just off days. I truly believe that part of the brain is birthed with a baby. The second I got preggo with my dudes, my brain quit functioning the way it was supposed to. You’re not stupid. You’re a mom. Also, you’re human. (And a WONDERFUL human at that!) Last thing, reading & spending time with your kids is the best investment you could make. I’m proud of you. Loves and hugs,
Laura
L.T. Elliot´s last blog post..Storymakers Post
by L.T. Elliot on May 8, 2009 at 10:32 pm. #
yesterday was like this for me; i reached the end of the day feeling sapped and disgruntled. my problem, however, was that i had been a general grouch all day long and had NOT played with my kids and read a book.
so i read this post and feel that somehow, you still accomplished much worth keeping. good on ya, i say.
nic´s last blog post..allison+sam
by nic on May 9, 2009 at 7:48 am. #
I do this too. I have days like this all the time where I think I’m stupid and I don’t know how I don’t screw up everyone’s life with my idiocy.
But then I remember that there are some things I do well, and I know you have things you do well, too. It all works out, but never the way we think it will.
VirtualSprite´s last blog post..sprung
by VirtualSprite on May 9, 2009 at 3:57 pm. #
Auto-pay is the way to go!
“And then, unable to face up to anyone or anything, I spent the rest of the day reading a book and playing with the kids off and on rather than actually accomplishing anything.” This is what I am trying to get myself to do every day … kudos to you!
I am loving the new look over here!
I hope you had a fabulous Mother’s Day!
An Ordinary Mom´s last blog post..10 Months Old And Happy Mother’s Day
by An Ordinary Mom on May 10, 2009 at 9:23 pm. #
We all do stupid, Kim, so you’re among friends! I tore down my chicken run on Saturday with no plan in place to replace it. I just had the time and so I did it, assuming that it would motivate me to rebuild–except I don’t know how to rebuild. So, you’re in good company :-)
Josi´s last blog post..A Morning with Me, Myself, and I
by Josi on May 11, 2009 at 7:20 am. #
Hon you are so not stupid. We all mess up with bills sometimes, but reading a book and playing with those two gorgeous babes is not a waste of a day. AND, you were also doing all that AND growing a baby. Tsk. That sounds like an accomplishment to me. x
Jo Beaufoix´s last blog post..Embarrassing Things I Dare to Blog
by Jo Beaufoix on May 11, 2009 at 2:53 pm. #
I pay all my bills once a month, regardless of the due date. It got me in trouble once because I realized I was paying a late fee over and over for a department store credit card. You’d think my solution would have been to change my bill-paying habits. Nope. I just canceled the dept. card. When the customer service lady said, “Do you have trouble paying your bills?” I laughed. “Not in the way you think.”
Heather´s last blog post..I Don’t Believe It–2009 Best of State
by Heather on May 19, 2009 at 8:25 pm. #