As much as I love a good bit of melodrama, it’s far more fun to indulge in when there’s nothing really all that dramatic going on. Life this past week has been nothing but drama (and boredom – hefty doses of that – but I’m getting ahead of myself), and so I think I’ll dispense with my eccentric flair for pandering to the poetical and just tell it like it is. Simple like. That is, of course, assuming I’m actually capable of doing so…
Honesty though, I haven’t much choice. I get about five minutes here and then I have to go lie down again.
So, here’s the bare bone details of it all.
Sunday I began bleeding. Neil took me to the hospital and after a few tests we and the doctor agreed it was probably just from my having overdone it the day before (I’d been hefting around boxes and furniture and whatnot). She consulted with an OB just to be sure and then…well…things got quite chaotic quite quickly. The OB noticed on my file that I have placenta previa. My doctor had thought it marginal, he corrected her and pointed out it was complete. Full placenta previa with any amount of bleeding isn’t something they take any risks over apparently, and I needed to get to a major hospital pronto just in case.
Closest major hospital that could handle such a situation? Five hours away. A couple hours later and I was mummy wrapped on a stretcher being flown down by air ambulance. That’s right, they had me airlifted to a major hospital. With an IV in each hand. With Neil rushing back to the house and quickly packing bags. It was so surreal. I had the hospital staff and paramedics in stitches all throughout the day. I went a bit Hawkeye from M*A*S*H and handled the situation by being so dang funny I could hardly stand myself. No tears, just laughs. That scored me a private room for free, by the way. Being a good sport/being in shock has its advantages, I guess.
They kept me in the hospital until Friday afternoon and then released me to stay with my parents (who live ten minutes from the hospital, thank heaven). Neil brought the girls down this weekend to visit their bed/couch ridden mummy. The tears finally came when I held my girls in my arms again. They seem older already, even after less than a week.
So I’m living at my parent’s house, on ambulatory bedrest (meaning I can get up to pee, shower, grab food, and that’s about it). As there’s no telling when I’ll bleed again and have to be rushed off to hospital, we’ve made the very difficult choice of having the girls put into daycare back home in 100 Mile House. It means I’ll only get to be mum on the weekends, but it means they’ll have stability, their own beds, and Emma will be able to attend Kindergarten as planned (she’s already as tall as some 8 year olds, we don’t dare hold her back a year).
For my birthday this year Neil gave me the gift of seconding my name choice for our third little girl. Claira. Although she has yet to make her apperance in this world, she is already very much a fixture in our hearts. Having a name for her has been such a blessing to us during this time. It helps us remember that she is as much our daughter as Emma and Rebecca are, and that her safety and health have to take priority. While I could attempt to care for our other daughters while on bed rest, we are so fortunate to have another option that will allow me to rest and hopefully keep Claira in utero as long as possible.
Neil took my other two girls back home with him today, and I found myself plagued by doubts all over again. It’s funny how a decision can feel so right, and yet still leave a person a complete wreck inside. How can it be right to be away from my other two girls? How can it be right not to be the one raising them for the next few months?
And yet, how can it not be right to do everything we can to save Claira, and to give her the best (and latest possible) start in life?
It’s a tricky, messy situation, but throughout most of the tears we’ve shed have been ones of gratitude and joy. We are so lucky my condition was discovered before it became life threatening. We had family visiting who were able to care for our girls while Neil was working last week. My parents live close to the hospital I was transferred to, and because of that I don’t have to spend the next however many weeks or months in a hospital bed. In oh so many ways we have seen our Heavenly Father’s hand in our lives and know that we are being looked after. Though fear naturally creeps in, we somehow feel that everything is going to be okay. We don’t know how or when or in what way, but we have felt the calm assurance of the spirit. Yes. Everything is going to be okay.
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40 Comments
I am so glad you finally posted. I’ve been thinking of you nonstop. If you feel like it, would you email me a number where I could call and keep you company over the phone on occasion? But I totally understand if you aren’t up to it. Just know that I love you, my friend, and that I’m praying for you. Oh, and your parents should get you one of those laptops suspended from the ceiling like they have at the Abbotsford Hospital so you can blog and email while prone without having the laptop anywhere near your womb. And Claira….beautiful name. I love her already.
Wow that IS drama! I hope that you are able to stay settled and calm and that baby Claira stays put until she is healthy enough for birth.
I have my unending gratitude for Eowyn to explain why I am not freaking the shiz out and flying to wherever you are and alternately rubbing your feet and sobbing at them. THANK HEAVENS YOU’RE ALL RIGHT! I would have simply died. Just died! Thank you to Eowyn for letting us know how you are.
I’m sorry for the hard decisions, Kim. I know you’re doing the absolute best by your kids–you’d never do anything else. Claira is a beautiful name and she’ll be a beautiful baby. Just like her momma.
Wow that is surreal. I don’t know if you remember reading on my blog but I was also diagnosed with complete placenta previa at 20 wks. The doctor didn’t put me on bedrest as I read many do and I spent the next 10 wks on “pelvic rest” waiting to start bleeding out as we rushed 45 minutes to the nearest hospital. Luckily at 30 wks they did another ultrasound and the technician said that the placenta had completely moved out of the way. I was taken off pelvic rest and I’m now 37 wks waiting to go into labor. If the placenta hadn’t moved I probably would be in the hospital this week for a scheduled c-section, assuming I hadn’t had major bleeding issues up to that point. I’m so sorry you have to go through this, especially having to be away from your other girls, I can only imagine how hard that must be. How many weeks are you?
Oh, my goodness girl! Blake and I were just talking yesterday about wanting to take a helicopter ride, however NOT under those circumstances…we were thinking of Hawaii perhaps. I’m glad everything turned out ok and that you can stay at your mom’s rather than dealing with hospital food, blah! Isn’t your due date in November? Oh how long to be on bed rest and without the family. Boy will Neil appre ciate you after playing Mr. Mom for so long! I LOVE the name Claira and hope that she doesn’t make her presence before she’s suppose to! Keep us posted.
Oh sweet Kim. What a scary ordeal you have been through. I’m so glad that you and sweet Claira are doing okay. All our love, thoughts and prayers will be with you all during this challenging time.
I’m so glad that your parents can take care of you. Keep us posted when you can.
Don’t worry about the girls. Children can be very resilient and they will be just fin.e
This is incredibly tough, but it IS the right thing for your family and your little girl. A good friend of mine ended up in the hospital for over 100 days trying to keep her baby (she did–and broke the hospital’s record for a prenatal stay), and yes, it took a huge toll on the family. But that little girl wouldn’t be here today if her family hadn’t made that sacrifice. She started kindergarten this fall and is doing GREAT.
I keep thinking how lucky you are that at least you get to have your parents with you and your daughters on the weekends. It’ll be hard, but you’ll make it. Both you and Claira. (Beautiful name, by the way.) Find lots of crafts to do and books to read. You WILL be bored to tears. :)
How many weeks are you now? I am so glad things are looking okay. It sounds like the bleeding has stopped for now. I know it will be difficult without your children, but like you said, you want to give Claira the best you can also.
My sister’s sister-in-law delivered her baby last Friday at 30 weeks 4 days gestation – 3 lbs 13 oz. He will be okay!
Thinking of you…
I know it’s hard to look for those blessings in the chaos, but it sounds like you’re doing a good job of it! Claira is gonna be one lucky little girl to be born into your family!
Wishing you and the baby all the best.
Oh wow, Kim; what a surreal, crazy experience. I hope the rest of the pregnancy goes on for several months more, and Claira arrives safe and sound (and what a beautiful name!)
1. I am so glad everyone is okay.
2. It is amazing how much a cheerful spirit will garner you in a hospital. With all the nonsense I had to go through my parents, the fact that we were always willing to laugh and make others laugh made us rock stars in that hospital. The staff fell all over themselves to get assigned to us when we came in. I’m so grateful to my mom for teaching us that lesson. Not how to get stuff, but how to laugh through the hard things.
Oh, I hope that everything goes smoothly from here! Prayers coming your way!
Aw, honey, I’m sorry you’ve been through such a rollercoaster!! I’m so glad to hear you (and Claira…sweet name) are okay!!! Sending you hugs and love and prayers. xoxo
I will pray for Claira’s safe arrival! I have been thinking about you and wondering what happened. I know you had to make a hrd choice, but I think you made the right one.
Oh Kim! I am so sorry to hear about this crazy situation!!! We miss you and wish you well on this journey!!! We will keep you in our prayers, ((BIG BIG HUGS)) to you Neil and the girls. Claira is a lovely name too, we will pray for her safe arrival and your well being. :D
I’ve been thinking of you lots lately, and am glad you and baby Claira are well. Hugs and prayers, coming at you once again. Bless you, sweet one.
Okay … I was cold from the beginning to the end, and my heart just started beating again.
Praying. Lots.
Oh, wow. My thoughts are with you! I’ll take pretend drama over real drama any day. Make sure you don’t overdo it.
Love you!
I was feeling compelled to call you this weekend, now I know why.
Stay well – you are in our thoughts.
Bless little Claira and you. What an experience, my best to you.
oh love…I guess you will have lots of time for super long phone chats…or FB chats…or long emails (when I get my computer unpacked) until then know that I am sending you so much love…you and sweet Claira…and Emma and Becca…and Neil….and the hampster.
If you are still at yo mama’s come spetembers end I will come see you…feed you hummus and chocolate. (not together tho…unless of course your into tha kinda thang ;)}
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
My heart aches for you and your family right now, but I firmly believe you are making all the right choices. The Lord is truly guiding you.
Hmmmm … wouldn’t it be nice if I could make it up there to see you? Hopefully I can at least give you a jingle :) !!
So glad to get an update. I have been wondering where you were, and I am reassured that all will be well. Claira is a great name! Best wishes.
A little birdy (and a darling one at that) has kept me posted on your goings-on while I’ve been out of town. I’m sorry for the drama, but glad to hear you sounding so well. You’re in my prayers constantly and I know the Lord is guiding you to make the very best possible decisions. Love you to death. xoxoxox
I’m glad there was this longer post, instead of just the short mention on Facebook. It’s hard right now (how hard I can only imagine) to be gone from your girls five days out of seven, but in the end you will be a more complete family with Claira. It is great that you can stay with your parents, and don’t have to in the hospital (being American my first thought was all the money it would take to stay in the hospital that long – yikes! Sometimes I wish I were Canadian.)
I love the name Claira, by the way. I was hoping you would pick it, when you were talking about possible names.
Your post made me shed tears… Stay strong… and keep your sense of humour through it all and you will have a happy, healthy little Claira very soon.
And if you want any visitors… Ari and I would be happy to come over and entertain you!!
You are very healthy Kym and so is your family. You guys are going to be just fine… I feel it in my heart.
You are in emotional pain… dealing with so much right now… how are you doing physically?
Love and best wishes… Melissa and Ari!
I am glad you have the support and the options. It is hard, but you can do this. I know you can. And your two girls will learn some things—like how much their mother is willing to give up for her children, how deep her love is for them, her faith and courage. And they might learn a little independence, as well, which isn’t a bad thing.
Hang in there Kimberly… Bedrest sucks and bedrest + mommy guilt is an almost lethal combo. You ARE doing the best you can, and your girls will be fine – better than fine even. Take care, you…
i’ve seen your updates on facebook (never thought i’d like that place, but it’s grown on me) and have been praying for you the past couple of days. i’m glad i had the chance to pop in here, since now instead of “kim and baby” i can pray for “kim and claira.”
:)
i commend you and neil for the way you are navigating these difficult circumstances with wisdom. be well, kim. be well, baby claira. and be well, emma and becca and neil back home.
I don’t know what to say that has not already been said. It will be ok- whatever that means, because truly only the Lord knows exactly what that means. But He will continue to help you and strengthen you. I look back on the 3 months I spent on complete bed rest and wonder how I did it. Then I look at my tall handsome 14 1/2 year old boy and am thankful all over again for the blessings the Lord gave me during that time. And He will give them to you too.
Love you Kim. And love and prayers for both you and Claira
Miss Kimberly, simply do the best you can with what-it-is and have the faith that it’s enough. Please rest and don’t worry too much about your girls. Mother’s prayers have a way of force-fielding our children more than we know. And it sounds like you have long list of friends willing to offer prayers on behalf of the rest of you. BedREST– don’t just rest your body, but your mind and spirit too. Let it all heal. :)
Kim!!!
My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Do you mind if I share your story with some South of the Border people who think that Canadian medicine is scary, and that if you are really sick, then watch out because they will let you die? Because clearly, as I of course already know, Health Care in Canada is fabulous!
Oh lovely lady. I’m sorry you’re going through this, so glad to hear from you, and so happy to know things are fine right now. They are. Your girls are fine and Neil is fine and they will be fine. Looking back, it will be fleeting, but right now it’s hard, and I’m sorry.
Dear one, I am so sorry for all the worry and nuisance and boredom and separation. (That said, I’m trying so hard not to be just a tad jealous of the life-flight ride, and I’m cheering that you respond to crisis with humor!) I did a full month of ambulatory bedrest. I had to have Jana-sitters round the clock to bring me food and help with chores. My heart goes out to you. But I must say, there is something about nearly losing a baby, and fighting fiercely to keep her alive, that deepens your love for this unborn child exponentially.
The prayers continue…
Good luck!!! I will be praying for you!
I’m glad to be able to read the whole story, even though it’s a bittersweet one for you. I can’t imagine being on bed rest. I would go nuts! Everything will be ok. Your two oldest will be alright. They know their mummy loves them very much and that you and the baby need to be close to the hospital.
Oh Kim, I’m so late to this post. I’m sending you loads of love and prayers. I hope everything turns out okay.
Oh wow what I’ve missed! Kim! I totally feel like crying for you! I started with this post and am working up to your most recent, so I’ll find out how you’ve been handling everything in the next few minutes but I’m so sorry you have this extra pregnancy drama! And so glad you have the right attitude about it.