And I thought I had issues with laziness before. Wow. It is amazing how little one can do when one does not HAVE to do anything. This bed rest situation is a curious mix of freedom and bondage. I can’t do the things I would like to do. I can’t be terribly productive or useful (excepting of course being the very hugely ultra-important incubator for our darling girl). I’m required to lay flat for most of the day, and the lovely laptop my dad set up for me while handy is difficult to use for long stretches. Laying flat and typing aren’t very compatible activities (I’m doing it right now though – it’s uncomfortable but it CAN be done).
I do, however, have a fair bit of freedom. I don’t have to do anything. I can lay about all day reading books or watching HGTV and no one is going to give me a hard time about it. I can nap as much as I like. And frankly, for the past three days, that’s all that I’ve done. I haven’t been answering or sending emails. I haven’t read many blogs. I haven’t worked on my writing or cross-stitch projects. I have done nothing that means anything (except yes, I know, helping Claira be safe).
And you know, that could be enough. I could, perhaps, be content with rest and relaxation. It’s what I’m supposed to be doing after all. And I could easily ignore the fact that I’m capable of using this time better. After these past few days though, I really, really don’t want to. I want to use my time better. As fun as it is to lay around reading trashy novels and watching home design shows, that’s not enough to breed contentment.
I’m selfish. Too selfish to be as lazy as I could be. I want more than this. I don’t know what that’s going to translate into. Trying to find ways to lie down and type at the same time more comfortably perhaps. Some writing on the horizon. Or perhaps a cross-stitch or crochet project. Maybe I’ll keep writing in the journal I began at the hospital.
There are weeks, perhaps months of convalesence ahead of me. I know that the end result is worth the bed rest. Claira is more than worth that. I can’t help thinking though that I’d like to have a little self-respect at the end of this as well.
Yesterday I was featured at Mormon Woman. Feel free to take a peek.
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20 Comments
I’ve always thought that bed rest would be awesome. But then I had the flu for three days and couldn’t move, and I would have actually been OK with even going to a scrapbooking convention, or being forced to watch Twilight at the Dollar Movies. That’s how much I wanted to get out of the house.
It’s a difficult time for you but it will be worth it. I just want to wish you well and encourage you. You are doing fine. My good wishes and prayers are with you. I read your feature on ‘Mormon Women’ and found it interesting.
Oh my goodness, this is perfect. You nailed it: “a curious mix of freedom and bondage”. Yep, been there, done that. And that’s exactly how it feels.
I hope you come up with lots of great things you can accomplish lying down. :)
Yes, I think bed rest sounds much easier than it really is. Books and HGTV sounds like a good way to pass the time though! Take care of yourself and your little princess!
I think it’s a case of choice as well I think. I love doing nothing and could do it for days on end (even though my cats will have something to say about their empty food bowls and dirty litterboxes), but if I were forced to do nothing it’s different matter altogether!
Hope you find something to do soon. Take care of you and take care of Claira (lovely name by the way).
I can hear you. It seems like such a good idea when we can’t rest, but then when we are forced to it’s kind of miserable. We are made to be doing and when we don’t it kind of rubs us wrong.
Good luck in finding things to do!
Yes, it always seems like something is a good idea until you actually have to do it. While bedrest sounds fabulous to me, I would only like it for a few days and then need to do something else.
I know that you’ll figure out what works best for you. Heck, I wouldn’t be surprised if you write a novel while you are confined to that bed.
WOW! Kim, You are an excellent writer! I like your description of yourself on that mormon site, very good. I want to get to know you better. sorry to hear you are on bedrest. I hope all goes well. Taking it easy sounds like fun but I can see how one could tire from it. Good luck! When are you due?
I can see how that much bedrest would come to feel more like prison. I hope the time passes quickly!
Yeah, I always enjoyed bedrest for the first two days, then it got really really old. Once I had those babies, I couldn’t wait to do dishes! That also lasted about two days :-) I wrote my first novel on bedrest, though, so it can have it’s perks. Good luck!
Bed rest sucks, this I know. Make sure you weight lift cans of soup or something because believe me, your muscles will atrophy. *Sigh* But you’re absolutely right, it’s worth it. Hard, but worth it. I won’t lie, the napping was my favorite part of bed rest (and the reading). Take care and have your mom bring you some cans of chicken noodle soup to bench press. ;)
Heading over . . .
(And just for the gee whiz of it, Josi Kilpack starting writing for reals while on bed rest. Just sayin’)
When Claira gets here, you’ll be begging for a nap. Take them while you can and don’t feel guilty about it. In the scope of your life, this is a short time. Don’t beat yourself us about it.
sweet you. satisfaction is simply too hard to achieve. let your mommy pamper you for a while, and let your daddy rig a more comfy set-up. Soon enough, you’re back to being the one in charge, right?
It’s one thing when you’re lazy because you want to be… totally different situation when you HAVE to be! Be good to yourself and take care of you and that sweet little girl.
I hope you’re having a wonderful long weekend with your family!
Oh, my dear! I must say that you have a splendid outlook on it all. I wasn’t on bedrest but it was quite close, I couldn’t do anything that would get my heartrate up (and my blood pressure). That ended up including such things as walking around by the last month. I have a nice 30 extra pounds because of that and the insulin shots! But, I know you do whatever you have to to have a healthy baby.
I read your last few posts, sitting here nursing my babe at 3:30 in the morning. You are an incredibly brave woman, and I have missed you so much! Please forgive me for taking so long to get back here. I love you tons and I will pray for you. In fact, I will have prayed for you before I go back to sleep this time. Love you!
Best of luck, Kim! I hope all goes well!
I have been on bed rest. Oh, yes. Please try to savor it and make as much of it as possible. Which may mean doing nothing all day. Let this be a time to look back on with fondness.
I miss you; I think I’ve finally achieved re-entry.
I think I would enjoy bed rest for the first few days. And then go nuts for the rest of it!
HGTV all day once in a while would be fabulous. ::hugs:: You can do it!