I Hate TV
by Kym on September 16, 2009
But it’s my lifeline right now. An access to feeling sane. Perhaps not being sane, but at least feeling the illusion of it. It gets lonely here, you see. The TV fills the silence, brings stories of real people to life before my eyes. I feel connected to the outside world. A world I’m only allowed glimpses of during bi-weekly visits to the doctor.
There are other ways to feel that connection. Phone calls and emails and blog reading. Losing myself in a good book. The TV is just easier. Of course it is. Merely the push of a button. Click-click and there’s a new view of the world. Click-click another story, another life. No real action required on my part except to observe.
The week I spent in the hospital I didn’t sign up for the cable TV that was on offer. I read. I cross-stitched while listening to the hustle and bustle in the hallway. The distant sound of wailing newborns, the easy laughter of the nursing and custodial staff. I wrote in a journal with an actual pen and actual ink. The reality of that gave me comfort. I was creating something. Something that would last. That I could touch and also read afterwards. I had forgotten how it felt to write with pen in hand. I had forgotten even, what it felt like to write at all.
Excepting blog posts and status line updates, I haven’t written since I left the hospital. Click-click, another story. Not my story, of course. A surrogate. A crutch. It is easier to lay here and be the audience to the stories rather than strive to create my own. This morning I found myself wishing to go back to the hospital. To take the pen in hand again and be the author of a story again. I miss that feeling. I can sense that it would make this long period of waiting and resting joyful rather than lonely.
Easy doesn’t equate to happy. I know that. I learned that lesson years ago. Applying it continues to be a tricky task…Click-click…another story? Or….Click-click the turning off of the TV. A battle won. Time to write my own story?
18 comments
Just replace TV with book or computer game and you have my life of late. Not that it’s bad to do any of those things. It’s when they interfere with goodness that’s the problem.
I shall go take a nap and then finish cleaning my kitchen now.
by Eowyn on September 16, 2009 at 11:41 am. #
“Easy” does not equate to “happy.”
Ouch, as I sit here in my unused workout clothes eating ice cream at 3:48 in the afternoon. Got to get a move on.
by Luisa Perkins on September 16, 2009 at 11:48 am. #
When we moved here we didn’t get good reception, and cable was much more expensive, so we don’t get regular TV. We don’t miss it really. If we are really in the mood to watch something, there is always the internet! Or we rent DVDs.
I always like it when you are writing…especially if you are working on some of your books in progress!
by Heffalump on September 16, 2009 at 12:00 pm. #
I am quite guilty of having the TV on as ambient background noise, probably a bad habit but its one I have had forever.
But I am excited for you to keep working on YOUR story.
by David J. West on September 16, 2009 at 12:32 pm. #
I watch way too much TV. But my husband is gone a lot, and like you said, it’s so easy.
by Kristina P. on September 16, 2009 at 12:42 pm. #
This is why we don’t have cable. We didn’t get the digital converter box that is now required. I get sucked into lives that are not my own. I live through them instead of living myself… sad, eh? Good luck getting out there! BTW – have you read Brandon Sanderson’s “Warbreaker”? LOVED IT – till the end and then it just made me mad :) Just wondering what you thought of it!
by Melissa on September 16, 2009 at 12:53 pm. #
yes. yes, I believe it is time. You go, girl.
by Annette on September 16, 2009 at 1:28 pm. #
TV is sometimes a quilty pleasure of mine. We don’t have cable though, so that makes it easier to run off.
by Susan B. on September 16, 2009 at 1:38 pm. #
Time to write your own story indeed! *HUGS*
by Kate on September 16, 2009 at 1:42 pm. #
I don’t often write with a pen but there is something inherently peaceful about leaving your mark, literally, on paper.
I’m sorry for the wait. I know how hard it is. Hang in there sweetie. *hugs*
by L.T. Elliot on September 16, 2009 at 2:20 pm. #
So this isn’t the same at all, but when I was “radioactive” and required to be all by my lonesome for 21 miserable days, I got my fill of “Clean House” and “What Not to Wear” and then I started to feel the same way. The urge to create is a strong one.
I love the feel of my pen on paper and how personal it is, so I called my grandma and asked her to tell me again a few of my favorite stories from her family history and I wrote them down.
I love that I have those now, they were a bright spot in an otherwise VERY boring, very lonely time.
by Mrs. Organic on September 16, 2009 at 4:41 pm. #
One thing I did enjoy about being in the hospital with each of my 4 c-sections was holding the remote and making all of the TV decisions while my body used the time to heal! :)
by Kazzy on September 16, 2009 at 10:58 pm. #
I, too, only get out for doctor visits. Until a couple of months ago, I lived and breathed Xbox and books. Unfortunately my husband and I are unable to work now and I had to start a website in hopes of paying living expenses and medical costs. It’s nice to read that someone else is insane!
by Shari Caudill on September 17, 2009 at 11:01 am. #
An excellent opportunity in disguise to visit Taigea and tell us your story! I can’t wait to read more.
by Jaina on September 17, 2009 at 11:05 am. #
you are a gifted writer. I can’t wait to see what masterpiece you will create next.
by An Ordinary Mom on September 17, 2009 at 1:46 pm. #
Sometimes I need the easyness of sitting and being entertained. But then sometimes I need to click the tv off and be productive also. As I always say, just do what you need to do to prepare for this little one to come into the world!
by Erin on September 18, 2009 at 3:45 pm. #
When I had surgery about 12 years ago, I had some complications that left me in bed most of the time. I got so sick of TV, but it was all I could do. I couldn’t see well enough to read or do handwork. But as sick as I was of stupid TV, it was a lifeline. Totally understand.
by Karlene on September 20, 2009 at 8:02 am. #
Oh, I so relate. Being in bed for most of my pregnancies, I just get sucked into TV. And sick of it at the same time. I never watch TV unless I’m pregnant, and then I need to in order not to die.
Best of luck in the remaining weeks!
by Lara on September 22, 2009 at 3:55 pm. #