I’m in a rather odd mood at the moment and this picture made me giggle so up it goes.
Last night was the worst night’s sleep I’ve had since…well…probably since I had a fussy newborn baby girl named Emma. It was the sort of night where dream images flew thick and furious and yet despite the surety that there were dreamings, little to no actual sleep seemed to transpire. I woke up groggy and sore and walked solidly into the door frame on my way out of the bedroom. Despite this I got ready quickly. Today was the day of the amnio. The test to determine if little Claira’s lungs are ready to meet the world at large.
I felt relatively calm despite a faint fluttering of nerves on the drive to the hospital. The test was so early that it was still dark outside, with just the faintest smudge of rain soaked dawn on the horizon. We arrived ten minutes early because we’re courteous and keen like that, and proceeded to wait. And wait. Finally found out there’d been a clerical error and our appointment was booked for half an hour later than indicated on the paperwork. We spent an hour in the waiting room with me fanning myself with the requisition paperwork and trying not to pass out, all the while Neil assuring me that no, it wasn’t at all hot in there.
I managed to stay conscious until our turn finally came. It was a simple enough procedure and took less than ten minutes altogether. Needle in, me with my eyes shut tight because if I can’t see it, well, it can’t be all that bad, can it? Needle out. Clear fluid. A promise of test results between 2-4pm. It’s so strange knowing that tonight I might have a baby in my arms. Or perhaps tomorrow. I think I prefer the surprise of a natural delivery. This knowing but not knowing is torturous. Like being given a wee taste of something truly delectable and then being told, “No more for you!” I know enough to yearn for more knowledge.
Neil let me sleep when we got back to Mum & Dad’s. Took the girls out so I could rest up. Tonight might be another sleepless night, but for altogether different reasons. We are hoping it will be tonight. Hoping for that because the sooner she comes the sooner we go home and are a family together again. It’s strange wanting her to come sooner. It feels so backwards. I should want her to be within and safe for as long as possible, shouldn’t I? But then, our whole life has been backwards for so long, I suppose it’s no wonder things feel confused like that.
I hear the rumble of tires over a gravel driveway. Neil and the girls are home. The next step of this crazy adventure awaits.
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18 Comments
Ohh, how exciting! And nerve-wracking. I hope that Claira arrives soon, safe and sound.
I’m on pins and needles here!
Not knowing is the WORST. I hope all goes well–and SOON!
I have always wondered what it would be like to go into labor on my own (all 3 of my kids were induced since I have high risk pregnancies), but then again I am grateful that I have 3 healthy kiddos :) !!
I know the roller coaster ride of emotions you must be feeling right now. You are in my thoughts and prayers! Keep us posted!
Wow…the waiting must be driving you crazy! Good thoughts and prayers are coming your way!
I’ve been thining about you today, hoping you get happy news soon and have a happy baby girl.
Oh, I am so excited for you! I hope the test comes back with good results, I know how much your family wants to be back together again.
You have been so brave! I assumed you would have your baby before mine, but my planned delivery went a little awry (as you know) : ).
Yay! I hope she comes tonight!
Just saw the results on Facebook … EXCITING!! Hope all goes well!
Now I’m on pins and needles too! can’t wait to hear about her lovely arrival. Peace to you, friend!
dying to know! Please take care, Kim. I’m so happy for you and your family. Kiss baby Claira for me and let her know she’s been much anticipated!!
Can’t wait, can’t wait, can’t wait!!! Post photos ASAP! (please?)
not sure how many times I’ve checked facebook…hmm….maybe 10 since I got home @ 5?? its not like you’ll be posting in the O.R. or in recovery…maybe Neil will? I’m bouncing in my seat here knowing that its fairly likely sweet Claira is in your arms right now!! holy smokes!! I am sending you millions of kisses!! please distribute them evenly amongst your dear family (I’ve packed a few extra for you and Claira though)
all my love dear friend! Hope to see you all soon!
The thought of life being backwards jumped out at me from your words. I feel like that sometimes. In time, things should straighten themselves out. Glad you are in good hands with good docs. (Although the anticipation of waiting to have another baby not knowing if it would be today or tomorrow or whenever would probably drive me a little nuts!)
Been thinking about ya again. My amnio with my last pregnancy made me dry heave for 10 min straight. It was brutal. But I was grateful for it because it gave us some info that proved to be necessary.
You are going to be so excited when your life gets back to a normal mommy routine, which means “craziness”!!
Warm wishes…
I love that sign. Crossing my fingers that she comes soon.
<3
I’m wondering did you test the validity of the sign? I mean you just want to park there now don’t you. I love random signs!