Some days, I feel like my ability to be happy has been taken away from me. There’s the classic wrong-side-of-the-bed syndrome, one-or-all-of-my-kids-is-being-a-brat-itis, the-scale-is-evil-and-WRONG-but-I’m-going-to-cry-anyway-osis, and all other manner of happiness robbing happenstances.
Yesterday was such a day. I fought it, and I fought hard. I tried to remain sweet and loving with my children, for Becca the birthday girls’ sake, but just shy of 5pm I sent them up to play in their room so I could have a[...]
Archive for January, 2010
You are four today. Four years and I still haven’t got you figured out. At all. You’re way too young to be so engimatic.
On the one hand, you have a cherubic look about you with your pink tinged cheeks, shiny blonde hair, and big blue eyes. You have those rosebud lips and a certain grace to you as you flit about from place to place. Even when you’re walking you look as if you’re dancing,[...]
We spent the weekend switching our upstairs bedroom with the girls’ downstairs one. It was sweaty, grueling work and I think my accident-prone self has wracked up more bruises and scratches in the past two days than the past two months combined.
Oh but it was fun. (Pictures Forthcoming)
There’s a sort of natural high that comes with change. It’s exhilarating and unpredictable and even more exhilarating BECAUSE it’s unpredictable. Then afterwards there’s this shivery sort[...]
Today I’m laughing at myself over yesterday’s drama. Some gals are dancing queens. Me? I’m a drama queen apparently.
I’m changing. That’s what it all comes down to. And it’s a good, good thing. And the fear is optional, as it always has been.
And really, I know exactly who I’m going to be today. I’m going to be who I choose to be. And that? Is so incredibly fabulous that I am[...]
I’m terrified. I don’t feel it in the chest tightening, rapid breathing, dilated pupils sort of way, but the fear is there. I write about it often here, try to trap it in my little box of words so I can define it and weaken it. I can laugh at it, here in my safe place. I can smile wryly and shake my head at how silly I can be.
I couldn’t stop moving today. Up[...]
Heaven
While eating dinner the other night Emma began spooning her water out of her cup and into her mouth. I was going to scold her, and then observed to Neil that I did the same thing at her age.
Emma interrupted and said, “I know you did,” in a very matter-of-fact voice.
Me: How do you know that?
Emma: I watched you from up in heaven. Jesus told me I could watch my family and that’s how I saw you.
Definitely one[...]
I need help.
And I’ll pause now to let the laughter over that blatant statement of the obvious die down.
I’ve posted here today, making a public admission of my newest attempt to bribe myself to lose weight. You don’t have to read it. You don’t have to comment. I just have to think you MIGHT have.
I’m tired of cheating.
Dear Scale,
We have a long history you and I. I’ve even built shrines in your honour. But you’ve been unmasked as the foul fraud that you are. Yes, I caught you. Caught you in the act! And I will never, ever, trust you again.
Au Revoir,
She Who Does NOT Weigh the Same With and Without Clothes On
Dear Cheese,
I miss you.
With Great Affection,
Kimberly
Dear Lego,
I know we’re not close. We haven’t really bonded the way that you[...]
I’m a bit lost right now, and it’s a strange thing because I have the map in my hand. I know where I’m trying to go. I even know which roads I need to take. But somehow I keep veering off course and ending up somewhere utterly unfamiliar. I really hate when I don’t make sense to myself. I have no vested interest in being lost. It isn’t like I get some quirky sort[...]
It is with great sadness that I report the death of a wish. Yes, it has withered up and DIED from lack of fulfillment, lo these many years. One might even go so far as to say that it has been murdered, and rather perversely the perpetrator of this great crime is my very own beloved, Neil. Those who know him or know of him may be shocked to hear this. He’s generally reputed to be[...]
