The Wrong Foot
by Kym on January 6, 2010
I started the new year on the wrong foot. I don’t know why that matters to me, but it does. Intellectually I know that the new year is just a line in the sand. It only means what we decide it means. It’s fairly random in the whole scheme of things. Really, what sets January 1st apart other than that we have decided it is meaningful?
Even so, I started off on the wrong foot and the fact rankles. I had grand plans, and they’ve all gone askew. I haven’t started writing my new novel. I’ve been eating poorly and laying about instead of getting healthy as I promised myself. I haven’t developed any sort of routine for me or my family. I’ve been mired in self-pity because Claira is allergic to milk and I really, really, really miss cheese. And I’ve been sulking for the last few days feeling fat, lonely, and dissatisfied with myself. Why? Because I’m an idiot, that’s why. However, I’m an idiot with potential. Yes, my friends, there is hope.
I spent the last two weeks living life. Not particularly well, I’ll admit, but I managed to live in the present more than I ever have before. I took more time for my family. I cuddled Claira for hours at a time and let the imagined urgency of life slip away. It was a contented, if unproductive time period in my life. Looking back on it I find myself smiling, and feel a shrug coming on. It’s not such a bad thing not to have achieved what I wanted to (yet). It’s not so bad to have cuddled and played and rested.
Self-pity just doesn’t have to come into it. I don’t have to choose that. As my dear friend Dedee wrote about today on our new blog dedicated to health and happiness, we can choose to focus on what we can do instead of what we can’t, or on what we have done instead of what we haven’t.
I have spent my time loving and living and choosing cuddling over cleaning. That’s not such a bad thing really, put like that. I am at a crossroads though. We all are. We always are. The choices we can make are myriad and varied. Normally, I find that realization daunting. Today? I choose to find it exciting.
The great thing about starting out on the wrong foot is that the next foot has to be the right one.
Unless you hop, of course…
16 comments
I absolutely love what you said, that the next foot has to be the right one. That’s so true. I’m glad you’re able to keep things in perspective right now. I’ve gotten better about certain things but it’s a good reminder to keep ALL things in my life in perspective. Happy mothering to you!
by Melanie J on January 6, 2010 at 10:32 am. #
I think that the snuggling are the moments you will remember the most.
by Kristina P. on January 6, 2010 at 10:43 am. #
I am so sorry Claira is allergic to milk! Aidan was severely, and I couldn’t eat any dairy for six months. I’m hoping this baby doesn’t have the same problem.
If you started the year on the wrong foot, that means thing will only go up from here.
by Erin on January 6, 2010 at 11:01 am. #
I’m with Melanie. That phrase was perfect about the next being the right foot. And I agree with you about the cuddling time not being a bad thing. You can always clean. You can’t always cuddle.
I’m sorry about Claira’s allergies. Do they think it’s an infant allergy that she might grow out of? All of us (my siblings and I) were allergic to milk as babies but we grew out of it. Will Claira ever get to eat cheese?
by L.T. Elliot on January 6, 2010 at 11:40 am. #
It’s a choice we make every day.
And I’m feeling it today. . .
by Eowyn on January 6, 2010 at 2:06 pm. #
I spoke with the authorities, and they’ve agreed to start the New Year tomorrow, just to give you a chance to put your BEST foot forward.
Your welcome.
(And I’m glad we seem to take blogging breaks at the same time – it’s very convenient!)
by That Girl on January 6, 2010 at 2:12 pm. #
Um? Me? I’ll take your cheese for you.
You’re welcome.
Yes. I *am* just kind like that.
You, sista, are a writer. Love “the next foot has to be the right one.” (Unless you have three or four… which nobody does, and so there – you were right. And brilliant. And wise. And mostly right.)
by Becca on January 6, 2010 at 4:04 pm. #
I started out on the wrong foot too, but since I’m more immature than you, I totally blamed it on my kids. :) Happy New year.
by Stephanie on January 6, 2010 at 6:34 pm. #
From now on, I’m making Groundhog Day Resolutions. It takes me at least a month to recover from the holidays.
by DeNae on January 6, 2010 at 6:45 pm. #
Choose cuddling. Every time. Sounds to me like you have been doing exactly what you should. When you look back on these years you will be happy that you chose down time and cuddle time with your girls. That is stuff never to be regretted.
by Kazzy on January 6, 2010 at 8:41 pm. #
“The great thing about starting out on the wrong foot is that the next foot has to be the right one.
Unless you hop, of course…”
Totally brilliant and resolving to get on the RIGHT foot in 2010!
by Amber on January 6, 2010 at 9:13 pm. #
Hmmm … maybe my problem in life is that I hop too much :) !! Loved that line!
I think sometimes I need to treat each day as a new year so to speak … and even some evenings as a new day/new year. It is so hard to start out and stay on the right foot. But hopefully we can all move in the right direction together :) !!
by An Ordinary Mom on January 6, 2010 at 9:46 pm. #
When we’re on our death bed some distant day, we won’t be musing over how sparkling our floors were or how swept our front porches were.
No. We’ll be thinking about the songs our children sang with us while they sat in our laps. While their hands still fit in ours and their hearts were contained so easily in our home.
You are on a beautiful track. “Just one foot in front of the other…”
PS: My skinny jeans are not feeling so skinny any more; I fear they’re more like hot pants now on my widening tush. We all have miles to go before we sleep and in time, I know, we’ll get there. Or at least closer.
-xoxo
by Terresa Wellborn on January 6, 2010 at 11:48 pm. #
Oh no! Allergic to cheese! How aggravating! I was fearful that Manly had the same allergy but, thank goodness, his crying began to desist.
As for the new year? Oh, no time like the present to change! January first is definitely not the only time to set new goals.
by Ambrosia on January 7, 2010 at 8:28 am. #
I love the way that this post conveys the frustrations, joys, and juggled priorities so constantly part of being a mother. And you’re right, of course. The only way to keep going is to put one foot in front of the other. But hopping works too, doesn’t it?
Just linked over from Ambrosia’s blog and really enjoyed this post. Thanks!
by Kristen @ Motherese on January 8, 2010 at 11:09 am. #
Sounds like you’re on the right foot…you just have to keep taking steps. No pogo sticks ;)
by Jaina on January 11, 2010 at 4:18 pm. #