Letters from Kim – #7
by Kym on March 2, 2010
Dear Teenage Boys Dressed in Black, Walking ON the Black Icy Road in the Dark,
Dudes. Seriously?
Grateful Not to Have Accidentally KILLED You,
The Lady Who You Should be REALLY Glad Had Her Brights On
Dear Writing Contest Judges,
I’m using you and I apologize. I didn’t enter to win. I entered to force you to tell me WHY I can’t win so next time I can ROCK that contest.
Abashedly,
The Amateur Writer Who Would Give You I’m-Sorry Chocolate if it Wouldn’t Be Considered a Bribe
Dear Fellow Writing Conference Attendees,
Enjoy me this year. Thoroughly. I’ve just been informed that I will not be attending next year. My husband is MAKING me go to Disneyland instead. The Brute.
Hoping For a Windfall so I Can do Both,
Kimberly VanderHorst – Aspiring Author
Dear Kim,
I`m sure it seemed like a good idea at the time. Yes, yes, you’d had a stressful day and by golly you’d earned the right to celebrate getting under 200 pounds at LAST. But honey? Eating bread and cheese and chocolate was not the best of ideas.
The best way to celebrate losing weight is to lose MORE.
Scoldingly Yet Lovingly,
The Twelve Hours Later Version of Yourself with the Tummy Ache
Dear Keyboard,
Stop with the randomly turning my question marks into É’s please.
Cordially,
The Lady With the Screwdriver and the Malevolent Look in Her Eyes
Dear Everyone,
Apologies for the insane number of typos I’ve had gong on lately. I like to brag that I can type one handed now, but I never said I could do it WELL.
Sncrley,
Kim
Dear Claira,
Eleven and a half hours. Wow. We are SO keeping you.
With Love (and a sudden return of sanity),
Your Well Rested Mummy
18 comments
You are a CRACK up! And I think Disneyland is a lovely idea. I wish it wasn’t so far from me.
by Heidi Ashworth on March 2, 2010 at 9:28 am. #
SHUT UP. 11 and a half hours?
I HATE YOU.
{stomp stomp stomp}
by Sue on March 2, 2010 at 10:03 am. #
I loved this post, and I love reading the comments. I will be back to catch up on them over and over.
(I’m not entirely sure why anyone thinks that wearing black in the middle of the night is a good idea. Too bad it’s not hunting season.)
by Eowyn on March 2, 2010 at 10:09 am. #
Dear Kim,
I will treasure every single moment I have with you this conference. I can’t wait to meet you in person! I also volunteer to go to Disneyland next year. Maybe the conference can be held there!
Dear Kim’s tummy,
Stop it. Right now. Kim needs to feel better.
Dear Claira,
Will you please teach Bean how to sleep through the night? Please? He’s only a few months older than you and still has a lot to learn about sleep.
Love, Rebecca
by Rebecca on March 2, 2010 at 11:24 am. #
Even if you weren’t going to Disneyland, I’d enjoy you. I enjoy you EVERY DAY! I’ll just enjoy you more in person because you ROCK LIKE THAT!
Claira? Eleven Hours? YOU WONDERFUL BABY, YOU! Kisses from your auntie LT!
And isn’t that critique the best 15 bucks you ever spent? Seriously.
by L.T. Elliot on March 2, 2010 at 11:42 am. #
Remember how I love your letters? Well, I do. Disneyland is even more fun than LDSStory. Barely.
by Becca on March 2, 2010 at 12:28 pm. #
“With Love (and a sudden return of sanity),” :D
by LisAway on March 2, 2010 at 12:51 pm. #
Oh, you gotta love sleeping babies!! And we call ‘boys wearing black on a dark road’ an example of Natural Selection. Thinning the herd of the weak and stupid, that sort of thing.
And I guess I’ll enjoy you like crazy at the conference!
by DeNae on March 2, 2010 at 6:37 pm. #
Yay for the upcoming conference! I am not going, but looks like you and DeNae will be here in Zion!
Congrats on the scale. You are doing great. :)
by Kazzy on March 2, 2010 at 8:55 pm. #
Your letters just keep getting better and better.
I like the bread and cheese and chocolate bit. Not a good combo for any stomach, I imagine, but I love them all. Mine intake might be worse, tonight, though: 1 Dove peanut butter egg, 1 double fudge cookie, 1 thin mint Girl Scout cookie, and the cravings to have many many more…but trying my best to write through the cravings instead.
by Terresa Wellborn on March 2, 2010 at 10:08 pm. #
PS: Did you just start counting your followers or is that a gadget you took off and then added on again recently? I feel like I’m having deja vu…
PPS: Yes, me and 101 other writerly peeps *will* enjoy you immensely at the conference in April(!!). Btw, do you sound as Canadian as your write? Either way, I can’t wait to meet you, I’m just a sucker for writers, accents, & conferences!!
by Terresa Wellborn on March 2, 2010 at 10:11 pm. #
This is awesome! You will have a great time at the Conference. I wish I could go and enjoy you too! But wait…did you say Disneyland???? Cause that’s right by ME! So next year I CAN enjoy you!
by Jenna Consolo on March 3, 2010 at 6:27 am. #
I always love your letters.
Tell Neil that a visit to NYC would be way more educational and fun than Disneyland.
by Luisa Perkins on March 3, 2010 at 9:55 am. #
Dear Kim,
I think you’re awesome. There is no shame in entering a contest for editorial purposes, and I fully plan on enjoying you. Hoping for a windfall for you, but think Disneyland is cool. I wish I was going to Disneyland too.
Love
Jules
by julie wright on March 3, 2010 at 12:53 pm. #
Yeah, if you come to Disneyland, you can visit me! Or I can come to Disneyland and visit you. See? Everything has its compensations.
by Melanie J on March 3, 2010 at 8:26 pm. #
Dear Kim,
I can’t wait to meet you when you make your way to Provo.
Love,
Amber
by Amber on March 4, 2010 at 7:11 am. #
Take your husband this year so he’ll forget about Disneyland next year. :-)
Be sure to introduce yourself at the Conference in April!
Abel
P.S. Don’t bribe me with chocolate. I hate it.
by Abel Keogh on March 4, 2010 at 8:05 am. #
OMG, I’m so excited that you are going to the writing conference! I was really hoping you would get to go, I know how much you enjoyed it last year :)
And hey, you totally have to let me know if/when you go to Disneyland. We have passes, and it rocks!! :)
Love the letters, they’re always my favorite.
by Jaina on March 4, 2010 at 11:05 am. #