Where’s my Happy?
by Kym on March 1, 2010
(Previous post removed for personal reasons.)
I’m trying to find a way to laugh at myself today. It’s another Monday-ish Monday, full of weekend mess and mayhem, sick kids, a writing deadline looming, and as the comic implies, an overwhelming feeling of inadequacy.
I wish I were less perceptive. And yeah, that’s kind of a backhanded way to give myself a compliment especially because in many ways I am so NOT. But I can look at my life and I can SEE. I can see where I’m weak. I can see where I’m faltering. I can see what needs doing. What I can’t see is how to find the energy, the skill, or the motivation to do it all.
And I know this kind of sight is really a gift. That we can’t improve if we can’t see what’s wrong. That self-improvement works best when preceded by humility.
But I could do with being a little blind today. Just a little. And maybe then I could be kinder to myself. Pat myself on the back as it were and mouth comforting platitudes like “It’s going to be okay…” and “You don’t have to do it all NOW…” and “Life is gradual, a process, you know that…”.
If I could I would time travel back to my last truly happy day and observe myself. Take notes, flit back to the present, and apply them diligently.
What do you do to get your happy back?
13 comments
Honestly, being introspective is the first key. I am pretty good too and looking at my life and seeing where I need to make changes.
I work with so many people whose drug use and behavior is ruining their lives, and they just don’t see it.
by Kristina P. on March 1, 2010 at 1:30 pm. #
I usually wait. It comes back around eventually.
I have found though, that doing something for someone else usually hurries it along!
by Heffalump on March 1, 2010 at 1:39 pm. #
Honestly? Wait. It’ll come.
Some mysterious “they” once said that happiness and spiritual enlightenment come in moments, and moments only. The important thing – when you’re in the middle of the self-perspective doldrums – is to remember that 1) you HAVE felt happy and 2) you WILL feel happy.
Also, going out with friends helps. A lot.
by That Girl on March 1, 2010 at 1:48 pm. #
How do I get my happy back? Think about the things that are going right, put on some loud music (Michael Buble never fails to bring a smile to my face) and sing while cleaning up some messy part of my house.
Of course, I think your happy will come back once your writing is in, and your deadline is over.
Have you been keeping hydrated and eating to help fuel your brain during marathon writing sessions, young lady?
And I’ll tell you again: You’re brilliant. Just try to relax and go with the flow. :D
I hope your kiddos feel better soon!
by Rebecca on March 1, 2010 at 3:42 pm. #
The fact that you work tirelessly to do the right thing by your girls and husband and that you are such an incredibly good friend means you are probably being a wee bit harsh on yourself babe. You are awesome. When I want my happy back, I turn to Jane. Jane never fails me. Mr Darcy and Mr Knightly and a lot of laundry folded add up to good times for everyone.
by julie wright on March 1, 2010 at 3:48 pm. #
What do I do to get my happy back? I email a good friend *hint* I call a loved one. I read a book. I write. *hint* or I cuddle with my lovey. Sometimes I force my kids to give me a hug or kiss. =P
I love ya, Kim. Even when your brilliant mind and heart are too hard on my beloved friend.
by L.T. Elliot on March 1, 2010 at 6:23 pm. #
It really depends on the day and what kind or level of unhappy I am at. Working out has been helping a LOT lately. Chasing my little boy around or playing or coloring in the floor. Find something funny on TV to watch. Whatever it takes.
But sometimes, I just wallow in it for awhile. It’s not pretty but it’s real.
by Tonya on March 1, 2010 at 7:32 pm. #
To get my happy back I like to spend time with friends. It helps me to forget my own microcosm and to have fun for awhile. It regenerates me.
by Kazzy on March 1, 2010 at 7:54 pm. #
Have you ever read “As a Man Thinketh”? You can read it online… http://jamesallen.wwwhubs.com/think.htm That’s the link for the text. It took me about an hour to get through… now, I don’t agree with everything James Allen says… but he makes some good points about getting your brain in the right place and then the rest of your life will follow. Again… I think it’s all about perception. Sometimes I look back on the last few years and I remember the struggles and the heartache. Then I look at all the good that came from those moments. It helps me get through my current struggles to know that my past struggles weren’t in vain. Good luck getting your happy back… throw some music on and dance for awhile :)
by Melissa on March 2, 2010 at 7:47 am. #
You know, lady, I could have sworn I commented on this blog post when you first wrote it. I guess that my brain cells really are dying!
I am sure that you know your happiness will eventually be found. It is just so rough when you have a fussy baby and 2 very active daughters. When I am feeling pretty down, I will usually remember my cousin. She recently gave birth to a still born son. When I think about her, I remember that I am blessed. I know, kind of depressing, but somehow it pulls me through.
That and ice cream. : )
by Amber on March 4, 2010 at 7:09 am. #
I have to want to get it back when it’s not around. The surest key is happy music that always gets me going. Sometimes a workout to jump the endorphins, a bubble bath with some great music playing. If it’s work related, notalwaysrights.com is like, the antidote to stupid people. It can almost always make me smile.
by Jaina on March 4, 2010 at 11:20 am. #
As I read this blog I was reminded again of a wise thing my friend’s mother said. My friend was telling me that when her Mother was leaving the country, to go back to her homeland (leaving her adult daughter here in the states). She said “You’re not going to be alone, but you’re going to feel like you’re alone. You’re going to have be your own mother, when you need someone to show you the way just remember that in your head. Tell yourself not to worry so much, tell yourself it’s ok and that you can make it though. Because who else will know what you need like you already do?”
Because you are introspective, you can also see the times when you were strong, and you can be the one to tell yourself “I’ll be fine, I’ve made it through before.”. It’s not hollow because you, more than anyone you’ve ever known, knows just how much you’re capable of. Don’t kidd yourself that your failures are everything that you are.
Thank you for writing this blog, whenever you did. I was in this kind of mood today and through random browser searching I found an answer I already knew but forgot. Thanks :)
by Darian on August 5, 2010 at 4:28 am. #
In addition to the recommendation for As a Man Thinketh, I would recommend browsing all of Allen’s works (he wrote about 20 inspirational books and also published a magazine). Have a look: http://www.jamesallenlibrary.com
by Jared on April 13, 2011 at 5:40 am. #