Painting Oceans « Temporary? Insanity

Painting Oceans

by Kym on May 13, 2010

I’m beginning to understand Dr. Frankenstein. The compelling urge to create new life. The thrill, the rush, the desire to shout out “It’s aliiiiive!” when the miraculous feat finally comes to pass. This is what writing is becoming for me. This is what I’m beginning to realize writing IS.

As a child I was always a storyteller. Some of my imaginings were so vivid that I would share them, oh so earnestly, truly believing they were real. No little Kimberly, the Easter Bunny never asked you to help him paint his eggs. No, you never found a mysterious cottage on your neighbour’s small acreage. No, there were no strange shadow beings hiding in the boy next door’s crawl space, chasing you and your friends out with their long fingers and unearthly moans. No, you can’t fly by pushing buttons on a telephone. They were all just dreams and fancies.

But dreams and fancies have a life of their own at times, and this is what I’m discovering. That words, the right words, can make them real. Can bring them to life in the same way my young imagination once did. Yesterday I wrote a scene and I could see it, smell it, feel it as I wrote. Just a story, yes. Just words on a screen. But real nonetheless. And I realized that this is the feeling I’m chasing. Not the nailing down of plot points, the story arc, the perfect bit of dialogue or description. I want that feeling of life pouring from my fingertips. I want to paint oceans and forests on my mind’s canvas. I want to breathe life into characters who will seem so real that people will want to hit them or hug them or shout warnings or curses at them. I want to write stories which, whether silly or dramatic, make people FEEL.

It’s a lot to want. It’s a sort of lust for power, I think. And maybe that’s why it’s so hard to step forward and admit how desperately I want it. I feel like a monologuing super-villain, sharing her dastardly plan with the world. Yes, I’m going to work and slave. I’m going to write and rewrite and revise dozens upon dozens of times until I get it just right. Until I take control of your feelings and use them to serve my own nefarious purposes. Mwahahahahah! I am writer, hear me cackle maniacally!

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15 comments

I mean, that is what writing is, though, right? It’s creating something. Giving it a life of it’s own. It’s saying something that we cannot say any other way, I think.

by Mckenzie on May 13, 2010 at 10:04 am. #

I love this!

Also, you know when you’re reading a book that you find engrossing? The kind when you take a break to do something mildly important, like–making dinner, and the story is in the back of your mind and you want to find out what’s happening next? I actually had that feeling about my book a couple of weeks ago. Only I hadn’t written the next part yet, so I couldn’t find out what was happening. That was disappointing, haha.

I’m so excited to see how fired up you are. I just KNOW that awesome things will be coming out of it! Can’t wait to get to read those awesome things. :) I know I’ve been kind of quiet around the blogosphere lately, and it’s because I’ve been using my time and energy on my writing. I can’t help feeling that it’s a good thing. Mostly.

I saw the picture I have of the two of us (with Bean) at Storymakers, and it brought back how thrilled I was (and am) to get to meet your sweet, lovely self in person. I miss you already.

by Rebecca on May 13, 2010 at 11:51 am. #

I’m in the process of trying to publish my first manuscript… I totally get this feeling. I remember once my husband came home and told me about an experience he’d had at work. It was very similar to something that happened to one of my characters so in the course of our conversation I used my character as an example. Except I didn’t identify at first that I was talking about someone I made up. I referred to her by name, as if she were a friend. Because to me, she is a friend… a person that I know, that is very, very real. I only hope that some day others may know her as well as I do.

by Mommyj on May 13, 2010 at 12:51 pm. #

My characters are very real to me. I lurve them.

by Heidi Ashworth on May 13, 2010 at 3:24 pm. #

I love this post. You know, last night I had a dream that was so vivid, it was like reading a book with all the details. I wondered in the wee hours of the morning if it wasn’t a gift from God in the form of a plot for a book. But then I woke up this morning and forgot most of it, reminding me that even gifts from God need to be written down when they are first given.

by sara on May 13, 2010 at 4:21 pm. #

Just remember to use your powers for good and not evil. I would hate to see all of your fame and fortune ruin you!!

I was a great story listener, and even now struggle to write fiction. I love the personal essay and would like to get much more proficient at that. Where is the conference for essayists???? :(

by Kazzy on May 13, 2010 at 5:00 pm. #

Cackle away! :) How awesome to get such a high from writing. I think it means you have talent.

by LisAway on May 13, 2010 at 11:23 pm. #

Oh, I hear you! That is a crazy power high. And I love it, too!

by Becca on May 14, 2010 at 9:07 am. #

Love the picture. Possibly even more than the post–which I loved.

You are awesome. I think we all get such power from our writing.

(I kind-of like to give talks in church for the same reason.)

by Eowyn on May 14, 2010 at 1:06 pm. #

I love the pic & your thoughts in this post.

And this: “dreams and fancies have a life of their own at times, and this is what I’m discovering.”

Yes! I’ve been buzzing today from 2 poems I’ve been writing. They are like music to me. I read & re-read them, tweak them, read them again and sing.

PS: And I absolutely love Heidi’s comment. :)

by Terresa Wellborn on May 14, 2010 at 5:30 pm. #

I can’t wait to visit your painted ocean! Let me know when you are taking reservations!

by Heffalump on May 16, 2010 at 6:38 pm. #

And in breathing something to life like that, with your creative gift, YOU come alive, feel more alive. (I mean you as in YOU and you as in all people) :)

I think story is just so amazing. The way I fall into a book and really believe these made-up people exist. And all the while, we’re living our own stories. It rocks.

by Heather of the EO on May 17, 2010 at 9:24 am. #