Tradition!
by Kym on June 29, 2010
Disclaimer: This post was written at 3am and makes no pretensions or promises of lucidity or sense.
Last night, as we were pulling ourselves bleary eyed out of our evening reads, Neil and I began chatting about our day. Isn’t it funny how…and wasn’t it cute that…that sort of thing. I made a comment that something was getting to be a tradition with us and immediately Neil and I burst into the exact same refrain from The Fiddler on the Roof. “Traditiooooon! Tradition!” We dissolved into laughter, because we’re cute like that, and then I repressed a little shudder.
Traditions kind of freak me out.
For the most part, they’re lovely, and we have many I wouldn’t trade for anything. Like family cuddles nearly every morning before we get up properly to face the day. I’ve often thought, hey, I should get up BEFORE the kids. You know, get a handle on things before they’re clamouring for attention. But I love the soft sound of feet on the stairs, and then warm, sleep tousled little girls climbing into our bed and nuzzling in. I found a good compromise in that I often get up earlier and when I hear them coming downstairs I make a beeline back to our bedroom. It’s not quite the same, but it’s still sweet. It’s still in keeping with tradition.
We’ve tried other traditions on for size and they haven’t fit quite right. A bit too restricting, too tight around the neck. We’ve made conscious attempts to start new ones, like picking a favourite food to eat for our late lunch Sunday afternoon. But apparently we crave variety and no cuisine lasts for very long.
I’m a bit nervous though, of starting new ones. Why? Because I’m kind of flaky, truth be told, and I’ve a hard enough time keeping track of the ones we’ve got. I’m very much the sort to stop halfway through a day and realize I’ve forgotten The Most Important Thing, or The Thing I PROMISED The Kids We Would Do Today. Sometimes I don’t clue in for days, and Emma will come up to me with those sad eyes she gets sometimes and ask why, Mummy, why didn’t we do Such-And-Such yesterday? You promised, Mummy. Remember how we’re supposed to [insert activity Mummy completely spaced about]?
Ouch. Big time.
In my house, many so called traditions have a good short run then get lost in the shuffle of life, making me feel quite miserable when I remember my good intentions. Daily music time? We ROCKED that for weeks. It was the highlight of the day. Same with craft time. Dance time. Help Mummy fold laundry time (I’m nuts to have let THAT one slide). Cooking time. I’m forever getting my kids hooked on frequent fabulousness and then yanking the rug out from beneath them. Flaky indeed.
So the word tradition makes me nervous, uncomfortable, and just the weest bit guilty. I’ve conquered this by cloaking each day in an air of mystery. Ooo…what will today hold? What new wonders will be explored? What new daring feats attempted? But sometimes I see those sad eyes and think there’s a reason they sang that song so passionately in The Fiddler on the Roof. I don’t know if I’d go so far to call it a basic human need, but it’s something that resonates with us. Tradition! Something special enough that we invite it into our lives. Weave it into the fabric of our existence.
I want that for my family. Maybe I need to start writing the darn things down until they stick. The good ones anyway. The tradition of, say, Mummy picking up toys could definitely use reevaluating. As could the ever popular Daddy brings home treats because Mummy was too lazy to bake this week thing.
What are your favourite traditions in your home? (and yes, I will be shamelessly stealing the best ideas for my own)
24 comments
We catch fireflies in the evenings during the summer. But I don’t think you have those there. We go on a family walk every Sunday. I read what I wrote that day to my children as they snuggle up around me in bed just before bedtime.
by Susan Auten on June 29, 2010 at 2:55 am. #
I too love tradition…but like you, I’m afraid! I have always been a bit of a gypsy and this has made the development of tradition difficult. I didn’t grow up in a home with traditions, or even day-to-day routine so it was hard to instill that in my daughter’s life. She is a grown woman with a family of her own now. She doesn’t appear to have suffered any but still….
These days, I live with my ol’ man (affectionate term naturally) and we have a few traditions..things that we do regularly. This has happened because he is a very routine person…
The tradition I like the best is “pancake Sunday”…he makes pancakes..not just plain ones either! He fancies them up a bit…anyhow – after church we eat pancakes, read the Sunday paper, drink coffee, and just enjoy each other for a few hours. It’s a nice day.
The rest our week is spent on work stuff. He is a high school football & soccer coach so most of the year involves practice, training, football clinics, and of course game days…lots & lots of game days.
I work in emergency management so much of my time is devoted to community, local & state. I do lots of teaching, training, and planning. Whew! we are a busy pair!
by Sherri on June 29, 2010 at 5:22 am. #
Kim, what in the world were you doing up at 3 am?
This is the reason we don’t really celebrate holidays. I just can’t remember what the heck I was supposed to do! Ha!
Um, my daily traditions? I like to take my kids to the park. It gives lme a chance to walk and them a chance to play. Well, as much as an 8-month old can play, that is.
by Amber on June 29, 2010 at 6:56 am. #
I think we don’t realize our traditions ARE traditions until we’re out of our family and see it from a new perspective. Many times traditions are taken for granted. Personally I think the Daddy-bringing-home-treats tradition is lovely and will create just as many fond memories for your children as if they were homemade. I was just thinking last night of the tradition my dad and I had of cereal for breakfast while I was in Kindergarten. I’ve never thought of that as me being slighted because I wasn’t getting a “hot breakfast” — I just liked the time we had together.
I guess that’s the important thing about family traditions, then — doing them together.
We let our traditions come about naturally (since the forced ones never seem to stick, like you said). The boys have a tradition at Family Home Evening to stand on step stools and “conduct” the songs with a wooden kitchen utensil, for instance — just because they did it once and liked it. It’s a little, easy thing, but I think the boys will look back on it with fondness when they’re older.
by Beth on June 29, 2010 at 7:12 am. #
We have this kind of weird tradition of eating pizza on friday night. It’s kind of a cop out to cooking a meal, but it works and pizza rocks.
by Cathy Witbeck on June 29, 2010 at 7:48 am. #
My brother and I were talking about this. We don’t really have any family traditions that were consistent. We can’t think of one. I don’t want to do that when I have kids.
by Kristina P. on June 29, 2010 at 8:28 am. #
My Dad raised us that we shouldn’t do anything out of tradition, we should do things because they are the right thing to do.
So I can’t think of any solid family traditions we have. It’s chaos.
by David J. West on June 29, 2010 at 9:07 am. #
First – thanks for getting Fiddler stuck in my head. -.- By thanks, I mean, not really. Haha.
I love traditions, but I also understand why they can make you nervous. I think I’d be the same way. Still, my family has some great traditions that have lasted through the years:
- Homemade pizza at our Christmas Eve party.
- BBQ, water fight, and fireworks at my aunt’s for 4th of July
- Fancy dinners (w/mom’s homemade rolls) during conference.
Great post!
by Anonymous on June 29, 2010 at 9:15 am. #
I wish we had more traditions, but the few we’ve got are great. My favorite: making Finnish pulla bread every Christmas. My kids LOVE doing it.
(And now I’ve got “Tradition!” stuck in my head. Thx!)
by Annette on June 29, 2010 at 9:39 am. #
I can’t think of any traditions we have. Is that sad? I even tried to think about special occasions like Christmas or Birthdays and…nothing. Traditions to me are something that evolve naturally or are “handed down” through the family. Our families are a bit fractured which made it difficult for traditions to stick and I suppose my husband and I have kept up the tradition of the non-tradition.
by Marilyn on June 29, 2010 at 12:25 pm. #
I think that its perfectly fine to try out traditions and have them stick sometimes, and not stick other times. The good ones, the really meaningful ones, may just be worth writing down so that they can be stuck with.
My family, as the years have gone by, have become rather non-traditional. It’s a challenge for us to stick to things when we are all going in different directions. It makes me sad in one way, but in another there is a freeness and adventurous to it when we do make a new discovery.
by Brownpaperbaggirl on June 29, 2010 at 12:42 pm. #
Most of what I would call traditions we have for the holidays, but we often watch a movie and eat treats and popcorn on Friday nights (the kids have sort of taken over our date nite like that (my fault though). That’s a lot of fun. Fridays are also junk food dinners (pizza, pigs in a blanket etc.). Fridays are awesome around here. :)
by LisAway on June 29, 2010 at 1:13 pm. #
Crepes on Christmas eve. Dad doing the tucking in (yes, still). Friday night dates. Graveyard run on Memorial Day. Ironically, traditions only work for me if I can be a little flexible with them.
by Kazzy on June 29, 2010 at 4:18 pm. #
not to many consistent traditions here. I’ve tried and failed countless times. The kids are holding me accountable to some things they cling too, so we go with those, but really , we just do day at a time. Strange.
by deb@talk at the table on June 29, 2010 at 4:54 pm. #
Diedle deedle deedle dum…
Traditions around here: late night soccer in the backyard, movie nights in my bedroom, dollar movie nights at the theater, camping with my sister…
by tracey on June 29, 2010 at 7:07 pm. #
Sure, make the song stuck in my head now. Thanks ;) !!
I love your take on traditions. (Thought I am still trying to figure out why you were up posting at 3 am?! Although I have not been sleeping well either this past week.) I like how broadly you defined it – to include all the positive and negative things.
Just because some traditions don’t get remembered all the time, I think they can still count as a traditions. We read books every night to the young ones – though some nights we miss. I like that tradition. Other traditions? Going to the park, family walks, playing games in the evening, etc.
by An Ordinary Mom on June 29, 2010 at 8:52 pm. #
Imagine the sound of an annoyed grunt. That’s me, as your post strikes a nerve. I feel like I barely keep on top of the basics, much less instituting traditions on a daily or weekly basis. The only thing we do regularly is kind of lame, which is having a crock pot roast every Sunday for dinner. Sigh.
by Melanie J on June 29, 2010 at 9:31 pm. #
Ice cream of your choice for breakfast on your birthday (with cereal instead of milk, or on your waffle, etc.). This is an easy one to remember — the kids won’t let you forget!
by Average Girl on June 30, 2010 at 8:55 am. #
Traditions are fun, and now that I think of it, maybe the tradition of only doing traditions for a few weeks is a tradition, too! ;)
We have trampoline sleep outs in the summer (a new tradition), we help grandpa set up the teepee every summer in the mountains with cousins, we have yearly family reunions, and we have food traditions.
I think food is one of our biggest family traditions. I inherited it from my own family: making cookies together on Sundays (or brownies, or cake or…insert sticky sweet dessert of choice here).
by Terresa Wellborn on June 30, 2010 at 1:21 pm. #
We have gone through many different traditions, I love traditions. When I was younger I had a tradition of baking Christmas cookies with my Grama. We still try to maintain this tradition, but it’s gotten more difficult to coordinate, but I absolutely love it when we get to do it. I’m drawing a blank on other traditions, though I’m sure there are many. I’ll keep thinking and try to post back. :)
by Jaina on July 1, 2010 at 10:15 am. #
Breakfast for Sunday dinner.
Afternoon read-aloud time.
Mom makes the cake of your choice for birthday.
Everyone gets their own pie for Thanksgiving.
Scripture reading at bedtime.
Camping.
And lots of things I don’t think I realize are traditions but my kids will see them as integral memories.
by Stephanie on July 1, 2010 at 5:02 pm. #
Most of my traditions are centered around holidays as then I can remember to do them. I do read to them at night during the summer. They always love that and I refuse to read ahead so I keep going so I can find how the story ends.
We make our own valentines for school on Valentines Day, sing primary songs while driving to church, open matching PJ’s on Christmas Eve and make dinner in a pumpkin every Halloween.
I’m the opposite of you. I love family traditions and see trying and abandoning them the only way to find the true fits for my family.
by Charlotte on July 2, 2010 at 12:51 pm. #
We started a tradition last year that we call “unplugged weekends.” We schedule one about once a month. They’re almost completely unplugged – no TV, no xbox, no computer and no outgoing telephone calls. We can answer an incoming call but we have to hang up within 5 minutes. We’ve rediscovered “game night,” reading aloud together, long walks in our neighborhood. I hope it’s a tradition that continues.
by Jane on July 5, 2010 at 10:52 am. #
Actually, thinking from your girls’ perspective (I mean, I used to be a little girl some time ago), I think they probably love the variety. My family, growing up, we didn’t have consistent traditions for the most part, but I don’t regret that we didn’t do some things more than once or twice, but loved that we did them. I attach all those lovely, creative memories to my mother and love her for it, not despise the fact that we didn’t do it more/longer/off and on.
But, if you do have special activities and you don’t want to let the girls down, maybe make them a calendar, plan these things in, and they’ll remind you. Oh, they will. :)
by emilyf on July 5, 2010 at 11:34 am. #