Temporary? Insanity

I wear makeup in direct proportion to how anxious I’m feeling. For example, while attending a family wedding approximately twenty pounds heavier than I planned to, I wore eyeliner, three different shades of eye shadow, and a double layer of mascara. If you ever see me in person and I’m wearing eyeliner, pat me down a bit, will you? It means I’m terrified.

But I realized something I already knew (I do this a lot). There isn’t a single person in my life who I love or enjoy more because of their looks. So why do I care so dang much about looking ”right”?

The cousin who has always been prettier, skinnier, and more self-assured than me is human too. A lifetime of feeling intimidated melted away in the wake of seeing her with three kids aged three and under. Children – the great equalizers.

Also human? My Granny. Who now that I am a grown up too (well, sort of, yes) is a warm, genuine, hilarious sort of gal who I wish I could have spent more time with. Note to self: The childhood version of yourself cannot be trusted to offer accurate depictions of people.

Judging people just isn’t worth the effort, because more often than not when you take the time to think about it, it turns out that YOU are the jerk. Except for judging that mom at the amusement park who bitterly complained about having to take her three year old daughter on a ride, ”Again?! I have to go on everything! Geez!” and then texted on her cell phone the whole time. I’m pretty sure it’s okay to judge people like that, though admittedly, I could be wrong…

Grandparents have this sick need to give their grandchildren felt markers. Clothes may be washable, but seat belts and car interiors don’t exactly fit in the washing machine…

Fruit Loops for breakfast, even on a special occasion, are NEVER a good idea. While it is possible, and even likely, that the children will eventually escape the sugar induced hyper-craze, the occasional twitching afterwards is highly disturbing.

Just because Neil’s family is, well, Neil’s, doesn’t mean they can’t be mine too. Inlaws, like Grannies and cousins, are people too, and fabulous ones at that. I’m starting to see why Neil turned out so well. He comes from a background of warm, open, loving people.

It is a good idea, a great forestalling of anger and bitterness, to just assume the hotel room won’t be worth what you paid for it. Pessimism can be a traveler’s best friend.

Parents who let their children play in hotel hallways for a whole HOUR, before 8am, should be made to suffer in some way I’ve yet to determine.

Roller-coasters are fun. Going on a roller-coaster with an eager six year old who LOVES the thrill is ten times as fabulous. And seeing the kids light up with glee and shout, ”This is the best day EVER!” is beyond awesome.

The joy of having the kids say, ”This is the best day EVER!” every day is more than worth the inconveniences of traveling. And having them not want to go home, bittersweet but mostly sweet.

A person can eat copious amounts of fudge with few obvious consequences if only they are physically active enough, and it is possible to go away for 10 days and not gain so much as an ounce. I will now lose a few by doing some serious happy dancing. I love you all enough not to post a video clip. Some things in life demand to be shared, some demand NOT to be.

Spending the money saved up for a new dishwasher at a bookstore is so, so worth it.

Having Claira’s first word be Dada isn’t so bad when she says Mama the next day.

Being a good mom is super easy when there’s no housework, bills, phone calls, emails, laundry, or crazy-as-all-get-out LIFE to deal with. And being home, returning to reality, is no easy thing when the holiday has been FanTAStic.

It’s all very well and good to spend the holiday planning how to rearrange the house once home, but where to find the energy to do it? Maybe I should crack open the leftover fudge…

Coming home to so many birthday wishes is even sweeter than fudge. Even the chocolate raspberry cheesecake one…