When I Give
by Kym on August 16, 2010
Neil and I love to buy things for our children. We’re a bit manic about it, actually. It’s one of our many too-too-extremes and we probably need to fight it harder. Innumerable games and books and toys clutter our life, suffocate our carpets, and climb up our walls. And we’re forever sneaking the battered ones out the back door, and bringing shiny new ones in the front.
It makes me happy because I love to give. It also makes me feel a little nauseous.
Yesterday we arrived at church early as always. Extra time to settle in, lay out baby Claira’s things, calm the girls down and into their chairs with colouring supplies in hand. For some reason there were many people there early this week, but the pianist wasn’t one of them. It feels wrong to me, to have the chapel filling with people but not with music. So I settled my little ones in place and I played. And there was a hush in the room, and a few smiles. Music is a gift, and it feels wondrous amazing to be able to give it.
I’m watching my girls play this morning and I’m thinking about what their favourite gifts are. Freshly baked pumpkin muffins, flowers on the table, story time, and mummy pounding on the piano so they can dance themselves dizzy on the dining room floor. In a world where money is too often our all and our everything, it’s truly a marvel to see how cheaply joy can be bought. My girls love pancakes for dinner, nature walks, and painting themselves smiling with water colour paints. They love singing and silly voices and being allowed to dump measuring cups full of potential yumminess into my mixing bowl.
It’s a fuller sort of joy, that kind of gift giving. It’s why I write, and sing, and bake. It’s the best part of loving people, because I find when I’m doing those things, I’m not sulking and moping over my many deficiencies. That’s the gift I give myself. That warm glow. That knowledge that I’ve done something outside of myself.
How do you like to give?
20 comments
I like cooking for people. True, it could be said that if I cook for someone enough I might eventually give them a heart attack, but there it is!
by Heffalump on August 16, 2010 at 10:33 am. #
I also love to cook for my family. My second son in particular, throws his arms around me and sings his delight when I make something he loves!
Gifts my children love aren’t always my favorite ones to give. The other day I played (or attempted to play) a video game with my boys. They kept asking silly questions like “Why are you killing the PK droid, Mom?” (It was on our side.) “Why are you killing Professor’s guy?” (He was on our side too.) They laughed at me and we all had fun.
by Rebecca on August 16, 2010 at 10:54 am. #
It’s those kind of things I remember from when I was a kid, rather than all the toys and things.
And there’s quite a debate in my comments about whether the microwave does actually cause mold or not.
by Kristina P. on August 16, 2010 at 10:56 am. #
I spent $30 to take everyone to the movies last week and $5 on a craft project this week. Guess what they liked better?
by Melanie J on August 16, 2010 at 11:05 am. #
lovely thoughts. When it comes to my kids, the thing they seem to remember more than anything else is time spent with me. They just want my time. How simple is that?
by MommyJ on August 16, 2010 at 11:58 am. #
Let’s have a playdate. My kids love exactly all the same things. Plus getting dirty outside. (Boys.)
Love this post, and you.
by InkMom on August 16, 2010 at 12:18 pm. #
“In a world where money is too often our all and our everything, it’s truly a marvel to see how cheaply joy can be bought.”
This post fills me with that same kind of happy. It doesn’t surprise me that you give so much, so freely, nor that you’re so full of talents, either. You’re just the kind of person who spreads sunshine wherever she goes. I adore you.
by L.T. Elliot on August 16, 2010 at 12:44 pm. #
My kids are never happier than when they’re snuggled up in my bed, listening to my husband or I tell them a story.
by Susan on August 16, 2010 at 4:33 pm. #
Kim, beautiful as ever. It is easy to succumb to the temptation to give your kids wonderful gifts. If Ben and I could afford it, it would be even harder. I am finding that my kids are just as happy as those kids who have all the toys/books/clothes in the world. I hope I remember this.
by Amber on August 16, 2010 at 7:23 pm. #
I tell my story by blogging so that others will know they are not alone.
I listen and comfort.
I take other ladies out to lunch or for a drink just because I know they need it.
And I’m always better because of it.
Beautiful post.
by misssrobin on August 16, 2010 at 8:55 pm. #
I like to give too. I remember when my husband and I were going through our pre-marriage counseling, the pastor gave us a book titled “The 5 Love Languages”. Mine was the language of giving. It’s how I express my love. (My husband’s is Acts of Service.)
I love how gifts don’t really have to be expensive or big…although those are nice too. The kids, especially, love the simple things. It’s so nice.
by Marilyn (A Lot of Loves) on August 16, 2010 at 10:53 pm. #
Oh this is perfect. I just kissed Ev and David good bye while their dad takes them on a day trip hiking. They both have been telling me that it would be so much better if I could come. This morning on their way out the door they each gave me bigger hugs than usual. I’m sorry I couldn’t give them the gift of going with them but I am very grateful for the gift they gave me of showing that they cared so much.
This post makes me realize (and I’ve been thinking more than usual lately) that I want to be much more of a giver. And when I do my obligatory giving I want to do it happily and with more love.
by LisAway on August 16, 2010 at 11:01 pm. #
Isn’t it wonderful to figure out where your Happy comes from? It sort of empowers you, doesn’t it?
by Becca on August 17, 2010 at 7:51 am. #
I love to give in different ways, finding new ways to give can be fun, too. I like your gift of music for your congregation/ward family.
by Terresa Wellborn on August 17, 2010 at 7:51 pm. #
I love to give anything and everything to my children as well. But I mostly love to give them love. :D Big hugs and kisses for my little people. Love to make them things too, food, glorious food. :D They particularly loved baked things. :D
by Candace on August 17, 2010 at 8:14 pm. #
I read this and let it sit a bit.
Sometimes it’s hard to “speak” after reading good words you know.
I guess it’s all relative , the consumerism, ours seems extreme compared to my husbands non material Italian family, but compared to my friends we are stingy and so not shoppers.
but we play and hang out and cook and laugh and do do do together. Always picked a cheapie camping trip over a dvd player or whatever. I think our society finds it hard to give actual time to others. So booked with appts and must do. I try to be the one listening. At the mailbox, in the store, etc. Even and especially to strangers .
and I love to cook for anyone and everyone.
love to you, Kim.
by deb@talk at the table on August 18, 2010 at 8:11 am. #
What beautiful gifts you are sharing with your children. I love the image that “mummy pounding on the piano so they can dance themselves dizzy” creates. Simple. Beautiful. I love this reminder.
by Jane on August 18, 2010 at 10:23 am. #
You touched on some truly profound principles and doctrines in this post. Beautiful!
I love to give the gift of time and the gift of lending a listening ear.
by An Ordinary Mom on August 18, 2010 at 11:32 am. #
WHat a beautiful picture you painted here. I agree that the most important gifts are definitely not the ones that are bought with money. You are awesome.
by Kazzy on August 18, 2010 at 5:20 pm. #
Your words gave me that warm glow :)
I, too, like to give the simple things. Baking muffins for the family, sitting outside with my Grandma, making a hot cup of tea for a friend…
by Brownpaperbaggirl on August 18, 2010 at 7:16 pm. #