Day Two: Answering the Hard Questions
by Kym on January 27, 2012
It seems like every time I log on to Facebook lately I’ve been met with fabulous news from a writer friend. Agents signed with, publication deals, completed books, manuscript requests . . . fabulousness abounds! Luckily, I’m not the envying type. I have a lot of character flaws (seriously, a LOT), but that truly isn’t one of them. I’ve been doing dorky little chair dances every time I read these bits of news, nearly sending the ole laptop skittering off my lap. I am so stoked for the amazing things happening for these friends of mine because 1) they’re my friends and I love ‘em! and 2) they worked so dang hard and they DESERVE good things happening.
My own level of deserving? Not QUITE so high.
Last year, I wrote a book. And I polished it and revised it and shared it and revised it and polished it more. I won a prize with the first chapter of it. And then I began querying literary agents. Over the course of several months I received twelve manuscript requests. TWELVE. And slowly the responses came back. Ultimately, the agents seemed to agree that the book had potential but it was, as yet, unrealized potential.
And I was okay with that. Surprisingly. I actually agreed with the points made, started planning how to address the issues that needed addressing and then . . .
. . . I never opened that file again. And I still haven’t. Because it’s going to be hard work when I do. That’s why I’m not the envious type, because laziness and envy are kind of mutually exclusive in my opinion, or they should be. I can’t look at those succeeding in the publishing world and call them “lucky”, because while luck can be a factor it is NOTHING without serious hard work.
And that’s one of the hard questions I need to start asking myself again. Kim, are you willing to work that hard? Humble yourself that low? Frustrate yourself to that degree? Are you willing to write every. single. day? Are you willing to ask for help? Are you willing to study and research and outline and plan? Are you willing to give up your more frivilous pursuits? Are you willing to WORK?
I have answers to those questions, and they’re the right answers, I’m just scared to give them. I’m scared to work, because while that level of hard work is necessary for success, it is not a guarantee of success. And that’s the question I haven’t answered yet. Kim, if you do everything it is within your power to do and still do not have “success”, will you be okay?
I think so. I think the journey is enough. I think the stories are enough. I think I am enough. I think.
Click here to read the first chapter of my new book. I’m writing again. And I think (and oh, I hope) I’m not going to stop this time. Of course, we may have to wait and see what Baby VanderHorst has to say about it all . . . (26 days and counting!)
5 comments
Good for you avoiding the ugliness of envy. My downfall in that area is that I get all martyrish when people I know get new houses. I think that stems from having ours listed for 6 months and having 2 houses we had offers on fall through because we couldn’t sell this one.
I am glad you are writing again. I have heard nothing but good about your first novel.
by Kazzy on January 27, 2012 at 9:00 am. #
I love your writing and really hope you get a book published some day so I can buy it :) Just read that first chapter, loved it! Your stories are so imaginative.
by Kara on January 27, 2012 at 9:06 am. #
Yay! One day at a time. You WILL do this. xoxoxo
by Luisa Perkins on January 27, 2012 at 12:03 pm. #
Sometimes the asking of a question is worse than knowing the answer. And not really knowing how you’ll deal with something when it happens (because I think there are some things you just can’t prepare for) makes asking even harder. But I’m glad you’re doing it. You ARE worth it and so are your stories.
by L.T. Elliot on January 27, 2012 at 12:13 pm. #
Oh, the answering of hard questions can be so hard! I’ve been asking myself many similar questions lately… I’ve been feeling a great deal of frustration over my lack of productivity. I know there are other authors out there who balance mothering and writing and do both well… why do I often feel like I can’t manage to do both? Here lately, I’ve had to admit the possibility that right now, in this season of life that I am in, I might not have it in me to pour everything into my writing. I’m not in a place where I CAN write everyday. It’s hard for me to say it, but it’s the truth. I have a year to finish my degree, I’m ten weeks away from baby number 6′s arrival… my life is jam packed FULL of family stuff. Now, like I said, I know there are others who do it. But for me, with what I’ve going on, I can’t beat myself up if the writing is slower than the ideal I have in my head. But I’m young (and so are you). There is time still, to write and prepare and work, even if it is slowly, in and among the arrival of babies and the raising of families.
by JennyP on January 27, 2012 at 8:45 pm. #