But sometimes the done list isn’t quite enough and the need for a to do list creeps up on me. Times like when I’m going to be having major surgery and a newborn baby in only fifteen days. Yeah. That kind of amps up the pressure a wee bit. I have to consider things like the feeding and clothing of my family during my recovery period, having things organized for the people who will be coming to help out (because I’m awesomely lucky like that, you know), and remembering that two weeks from now using any of the stairs in our three-story house will be a big no-no.

There are things that NEED to be done. There are things I really WANT to have done. And at times like this, as my inner-procrastinator takes over, my done list fails me. While it’s great to have a long list of accomplishments at the end of the day, and to bask in the glow of self-respect that comes with, the warm fuzzy feelings can be seriously messed with by nagging worries and thoughts of I-Really-Should-Have-Such-and-Such done by now.

The solution? A to do list. An honest to goodness to do list for me to cross things off of. Because my brain feels heavy right now, and when I’m holding my new little [gender unspecified] I want my mind to feel light . . . focused on him/her exclusively.

And why not share that list here as I create it? I’ll add items as I think of them, and cross items off as I accomplish them. I’m not very practiced when it comes to To Do-Listing, and having an audience might help. Oh, who am I kidding? I just anticipate being AMAZING and I want to show off. In fact, I’ve included a few of the things I’ve already accomplished, just to make myself look more impressive.

Kim’s Pre-Baby To Do List

Need to Do:

Clean out Fridge
Catch up on Laundry
Wash and fold all baby clothes
Set up bassinett
Clean out Freezer
Stock Freezer with more Easy Meals
Sterilize Breast Pump and Bottles (just in case)
Pack Camera in Hospital Bag
Pay Bills
Buy present for sister’s new baby (arriving very close to when ours is)
Mail cheque to mother-in-law for upcoming family birthdays
Find Thank You cards and place in easy reach for when I’ll need them
Move my clothing from upstairs bedroom to main floor
Move my toiletries from upstairs bathroom to main floor
Submit entry for First Chapter Contest
Submit 10 pages for Writing Workshop (write 3 of them – only 7 written thus far)

Want to Do:

Sort kids’ clothes and remove too-small items, pull out next size
Reorganize pantry
Reorganize kitchen cupboards and drawers
Scrub Bathrooms
Bake and Freeze Muffins (Claira’s favourite food group)
Reorganize Claira’s Closet (Halfway Done)
Reogranize Craft Shelf in Laundry Room
Reorganize Gift Shelf in Laundry Room
Bag up Garage Sale/Thrift Items for Neil to take to Garage

Also on my want to do list is the desire to make my house **PERFECT** before the big day. My mum is coming to help out. Friends are going to be coming in to help with laundry and cooking and cleaning. And I am proactively ashamed of what they’re going to learn about my poor housekeeping skills while here. But I need to let all that go and focus on what actually matters. I need to add things to my To Do list like Spend Oodles of Time with My Three Girls, Play Piano, and Read Stories.

In doing what needs doing, and what I want done, I need to be sure not to forget the things (people) that matter most.

Do you To Do or To Done?

Please don’t scold me for being hard on myself, I mean, I did say “sometimes.” Self-deprecation wise, that’s a big step for me, you know.

Yesterday, I felt motivated. I was all blissed out on having actually left my house two days in a row, and I felt like I could DO things. I felt empowered. So I got all the dishes done, and the sink and counters scrubbed. I wiped down the table and swept the ENTIRE main floor. I pulled out the mop and tackled the worst sticky spots. I put away every single toy on the main floor and tidied every single room. I gathered all the dirty laundry, carried it down to the basement, and started putting laundry through. I folded three loads and carried them to the rooms they needed to be put away in.

By the time bedtime rolled around the main floor of my house looked fanTAStic, and I was at least halfway to caught up on the laundry to boot.

I confess, I started strutting a little. As much as an eight-months-pregnant woman can anyway. I gave myself a few verbal pats on the back where Neil could hear me (and join in, like the smart boy he is), and I climbed into bed to do some much deserved vegging out with one of my favourite books (The Way of Kings – Brandon Sanderson) and one of my favourite guys (the aforementioned Neil).

That’s about when the contractions started. Not serious ones, of course. Not the, oh-heck-we-better-rush-to-the-hospital-kind. But definitely the, um-maybe-we-should-pack-the-hospital-bag-in-case-these-get-any-worse kind. They were right on the cusp between uncomfortable and painful, they didn’t get any worse than that, but it was a MISERABLE evening.

And I could only keep saying, I did this to myself. One, because it’s true, and two, I knew that it was better if I said it than if Neil did. I had overdone it and was paying the price.

So today, I’m looking at the projects I’d like to get done before the baby arrives (21 days and counting!), and I’m reminding myself that I don’t have to do it all at once the way I tend to do. I can do a little here, rest a little there, and pace myself throughout the day. And that’s a hard thing for me to do, because I tend to have two modes 1. ALL 2. NOTHING. It’s something I need to learn in life. How to slip into that grey area between the two and find a way to live there. To not be either doing so little that I hate myself or doing so much that I hurt myself.

I’m thinking of going back to my once-upon-a-time-ago pattern of reading a chapter for every chore accomplished. Baby steps. Balance.

Now excuse me, I really should pack that hospital bag. Just in case I continue being an idiot (it’s all too possible, I’m afraid) . . .