And it came to pass in the year of the Vancouver hosted Olympics, that a certain woman of great size did decide to reduce herself. Yea, even to bring about the removal of five and fifty pounds from her beleagured frame.
Her efforts were valiant, if sometimes misguided, and marvelous was her progress. Pop, she did shun. Potato chips she did shun. Yea, even the sweet succulence of scrumptious cookies did she shun.
But then cameth the cream[...]
Archive for the ‘Health’ Category
Today was frustrating. I took Becca’s diapers away. Again. She peed in her panties repeatedly. Again. She seemed to be unaware and unperturbed by the fact. Again. I resisted the urge to remove the positive incentive/positive reinforcement system and threaten her sweet four year old self with all manner of horrors if she didn’t put her pee in the potty already. Again.
Again.
It gets a bit wearing.
And then I had an epiphany. [...]
I need help.
And I’ll pause now to let the laughter over that blatant statement of the obvious die down.
I’ve posted here today, making a public admission of my newest attempt to bribe myself to lose weight. You don’t have to read it. You don’t have to comment. I just have to think you MIGHT have.
I’m tired of cheating.
As much as I love a good bit of melodrama, it’s far more fun to indulge in when there’s nothing really all that dramatic going on. Life this past week has been nothing but drama (and boredom – hefty doses of that – but I’m getting ahead of myself), and so I think I’ll dispense with my eccentric flair for pandering to the poetical and just tell it like it is. Simple like. That is, of course,[...]
And when I say reeling, I don’t mean in the fishing sense. Or even in the dancing a jig and a reel sort of sense either. I’m reeling because I stepped on the scale this morning and while I wasn’t exactly shocked (I’d seen the number insidiously creeping upwards after all) I still felt like I’d been sucker punched in the gut.
Two Hundred Pounds.
Now granted I’m five foot nine and hey, once upon a time ago I weighed[...]
Even worse, is diagnosing your children that way. I am having quite the crummy-mummy moment this morning.
Emma has had an Adam’s Apple-esque lump on her throat for quite some time now. According to various online articles, such lumps are enlarged vocal chords that the child has yet to grow into. Given Emma’s rather extreme propensity to loud volumes, this seemed a quite fitting diagnosis and Neil and I were both content with it.
It also happened to be[...]
All that jabber about being happy to be sick because it means the pregnancy is progressing? I take it all back. Yesterday was spent curled up on the couch, moaning, and fighting off waves of nausea everytime I so much as lifted my head.
Not. So. Happy.
On the bright side, I kept the TV off all day and my girls played happily with each other all day while I attempted not to die. I also finished[...]
Awhile back, I wrote about a negative pregnancy test. I handled it better than I had any test before it. No weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth (actually I never do that – it really hurts) – I handled it with a grace and dignity that belied my innate melodrama. It was weird.
Weirder still was when I went to toss the test in the garbage . . . and saw the faint line. I didn’t[...]
Dear Self,
I don’t hate you the way I did as a teenager. And I don’t dislike you in that apathetic way I did in my twenties. In fact, the advent of a new decade has even brought feelings of fondness and, dare I say, love onto the scene. I’ve seen how far you’ve come. I’ve caught glimpses of your potential and I’m hopeful for you. You could be pretty amazing, you know.
But for heaven’s sake…Put…the cookies…down! Your addiction to the[...]
That’s how much time I have left. Err…not to live or anything crazy like that, we’re not talking the ultimate deadline here. Just a wee tiny self-imposed one that’s been irritating me the last few days.
You see, I signed up to attend the LDS Storymaker’s Conference in Provo this Spring. It’s a bit nerve wracking, not only because it’s my first writing conference, but because of the many people I admire and love who I’ll be meeting[...]
