In other news, I’m writing again. I’m giddy and terrified all in one go. But there’s something transcendent about doing the thing that makes you feel most like yourself, and for me that’s writing. I want to ask myself, why do you stop? But I know the answer. I know that I get scared, I stop, I flounder, and then I find my way back again. Back to myself. I need to break that cycle somehow . . .

When do you feel most like yourself?

I’m procrastinating less because I don’t know how much time I have left, and I’m tackling projects I’ve avoided for months or years because every day I crave a sense of accomplishment. Because when you’re on bedrest? That feeling is as restricted as your movements. So I’m filling myself as full of that feeling now as I can, so that if things go badly (and they might, or they might not) I can lie flat, rest, keep this baby safe, and think to myself, “At least I did everything I could to get ready.”

That’s the goal anyway. I’m still a ways off from “everything”, but I’m making good progress.

One of the projects I’ve been meaning to tackle is a VanderHorst Family Recipe Book. My Brother-in-law and Sister-in-law did one up a couple years ago and sent copies out as Christmas gifts, full of all their Tried and True recipes. I thought I’d share a few of them here in the coming weeks since 1) I’m awesome like that, 2) Maybe it will get me back in the blogging groove, because I miss you all, and I miss putting my thoughts and experiences into words on a regular basis, 3) Fall/Winter always draws me to the kitchen 4) Neil gets pouty if I go too long without making him something yummy, and 5) It’s always nice to hear feedback and suggestions from more adept cooks than myself, so feel free to share your tips and tricks!

This recipe doesn’t fall into the Tried and True category quite yet, since I’ve only made it once. But it was so scrumptious that I simply had to share. I tweaked an existing recipe by removing the water called for (I don’t like my apple crisp too saucy), increasing the amount of spice called for, and adding nutmeg. Yum!

8 Granny Smith Apples, peeled, cored and sliced
3/4 cup white sugar
1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
2 teaspoons ground nutmeg

1 cup quick-cooking oats
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup packed brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 cup butter, melted

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degree C).
Place the sliced apples in a 9×13 inch pan. Mix apples with the white sugar, 1 tablespoon flour and cinnamon and nutmeg.
Combine the oats, 1 cup flour, brown sugar, baking powder, baking soda and melted butter together. Crumble evenly over the apple mixture.
Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for about 45 minutes.

In other news, I’ll be having another ultrasound on December 2nd to see if the pregnancy complication has cleared up. If not, odds are that I’ll be on bed rest for the last several weeks of the pregnancy. While I hate the agony of suspense involved, I’m grateful for the time I have to plan and prepare. It feels like a gift, so that’s what I’m going to call it.